Madonna Is A Mass Murderer - According To Bulgaria
Bulgarian religious leaders are blaming Madonna for the death of 15 Bulgarian citizens who were killed in a boating accident on Saturday. How so? Well, it turns out that Madonna performed in Bulgaria on August 29th which is a very important religious holiday. It turns out that is the anniversary of John The Baptist getting beheaded. Because Madonna performed on that day, she brought the country bad luck. Wouldn't the bad luck happen the day of the show or the day after? At what point does the statute of limitations run out on bad luck?
If this had happened six months after she performed would she still be blamed? Is it possible this could be blamed on some other event in the country? Did someone steal an offering plate from church? I'm not saying that I don't want Madonna to be blamed because it gives me something to write about, but isn't this like food dropping on the floor and the 30 second rule. Yes, I know most of you use a much shorter rule, but hey, it's food and I am always hungry.
"The catastrophe in Macedonia in which 15 Bulgarian citizens died was a sign from heaven. The Orthodox Church had called for people not to enjoy themselves on the day marking the execution of John. We should not allow the young to have fun on a day that should be dedicated to spiritual reflection."
So, if everyone had stayed inside and reflected all day then the deaths would have never happened? What if they had? Then who would you blame? Wait a second wasn't Gwyneth just in Europe?
Those poor ignorant souls!
ReplyDeletedid any of the victims at least get to see Madonna or did they die for the sins of others? (would be fitting)
ReplyDeleteAh religion.
ReplyDeleteI'm as sure that John the Baptist was beheaded on August 29 as I'm sure that Jesus was born on December 25.
This does make our healthcare 'debate' seem a bit more reasonable however.
Yeah, I suppose if everyone acted piously all the time, there would be no death, sickness, poverty...yeah.
ReplyDeleteJesus should have told then to not get on a boat that obviously sucked. IMHO.
ReplyDeleteI love Bulgaria. I never enjoyed myself more than when I was living in Blagoevgrad. And if religious leaders want to blame Madonna for anything, anything at all - I'm all for it!
ReplyDeleteI love the craziness of the Balkans!
Thankful to be an atheist every day.
ReplyDeleteThat Madonna, getting into all sorts of trouble again. Just like the old days. Next she goes to Northern Alaska where she will be responsible for whale killings and baby seal monstrosities. The little minx.
ReplyDeleteWait they are upset she preformed on a day the Church says John the Baptist died but have no problem with her calling herself Madonna and that she's screwing a man named Jesus?
ReplyDeleteOKAY? NEXT!
Wow .. just .. well .. Wow. [I would type more .. but the shaking of my head over this story is just making it way too hard to read what I am typing!]
ReplyDeleteRocket-no kidding!
ReplyDeleteI say let the Death Panels decide what should happen to Madonna. She is Grandmas age...
I vote for Gwyneth, myself.
ReplyDeleteMadonna was too busy eyeing potential adoptees to make that kind of trouble.
And anyway, just where was Ben Affleck?
Uh, ardleigh, that's because Madonna's actual given name IS Madonna and Jesus's actual given name IS Jesus. Just because you want to be a douche with a narrow world view doesn't mean you have to mock what's on a person's birth certificate.
ReplyDeleteAnd I just love all the religious tolerance being exhibited here. Are you certain that August 29th is what the Bulgarians are saying is what the Bulgarians actually believe is the real "anniversary" of John the Baptist's beheading? Or is that the date that the Bulgarian Orthodoxy designated to commemorate such an event? And since when is an Orthodox religious practice shorthand for all the religious practices in the Judeo-Christianic religious pantheon?
Sure, the Bulgarians are a bit overzealous and their ideas happen to be a bit on the grandiose side (read what the assassinated dissident Georgi Markov had to say about the Soviet-era leaders in the country before he defected and moved to London for more). But to turn around and say that this is all because of Teh Bad Religionz is to show off your distinct ignorance of this and every other related issue.