So, it is well known here that I give Rachel Bilson a great deal of crap for not wearing her engagement ring and then when she is called out on it she immediately gets photographed wearing it for the next two or three days. Then, when she thinks no one is paying attention she goes back to not wearing it. It is just one big cycle and I am all about breaking the cycle. Because The New York Daily News is a professional organization they called Rachel's publicist and asked her why she wears it only when being called out about it. Her publicist said, "The engagement is on. She just doesn't always wear the ring."
You know what? Fair enough. I am willing to give Rachel the benefit of the doubt here. How many of you when you got engaged never wore the ring? Did you not wear it because you were ashamed or because it didn't match what you were wearing? Perhaps you had a job where you couldn't wear jewelry. In my multiple engagements I have found that when a woman says yes, she is generally willing to wear the ring pretty much all of the time. Am I wrong here? Rachel will go days and weeks without wearing it. I thought they were supposed to be a symbol of commitment and a guy saying, "look I got her a ring so all of you other guys back off." When you can take it on and off your finger without a care in the world it is kind of like the friend who calls you but is not important enough to get their name added to your phone. If they stop calling there won't be any trace of them and if Rachel doesn't wear the ring then it is like the engagement never existed.
Remember on Sex & the City when Carrie wore the ring around her neck? Yeah, that turned out well. I've never met an engaged gal who didn't show off that ring every single chance she got. :)
ReplyDeleteEngagement rings exist to be worn. If the ring is optional, I'd say the commitment is optional too.
ReplyDeleteUnless you absolutely never wear jewelry (in which case, why did your fiance buy it for you?), you pretty much wear it right up till you're married.
If you don't like it, and you have balls as big as turnips, you could lead your boyfriend by the nose to the jeweler and ask to see something bigger, heavier and more expensive. But then you'd wear it.
Mine never left my finger.
ReplyDeleteAlways wore it, except when taking a shower. Felt naked without it, and I was damn proud of it.
ReplyDeleteMy wedding ring is much fancier than my engagement ring which is really just a plain old ring. I took both off when I was pregnant and my fingers swelled. I've always worked with children and both were getting banged up so I rarely wear them. My husband is a welder and rarely wears his ring.
ReplyDeleteObviously, Rachel Bilson doesn't have practicality to worry about, but I don't think it's that big a deal.
We like our rings but our commitment doesn't depend on them.
My wedding/engagement ring is huge.
ReplyDeleteI take it off to shower and lotion up and sometimes I forget to put it back on. In fact, it's not on right now. and I went out without it. Oversight. Happens.
After 27 years (of marriage, not engagement), mine has only come off twice - both times when a prong broke and I had to have it repaired. Each of those repair sessions just felt wrong, wrong, wrong. I don't know any woman who just 'doesn't always wear the ring.' Sounds a little fishy to me.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Actually it was three times - had to take it off when I was pregnant 'cause my fingers swelled up.
From the time I put it on, other than for a brief moment during the wedding ceremony when I took it off to put on the wedding ring, I wore that sucker day and night, in showers and out, during childbirth, while gardening - ALWAYS wore it until the day I kicked him to the curb and started divorce proceedings 17 years later.
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I'm surprised every time I look at my finger and see that I still haven't misplaced my 50 dollar wedding ring...*L*
ReplyDeleteIf people get so suspicious about her not wearing her ring (although I don't doubt for a second that this is a sham engagement and he is as gay as a french horn), why don't more people get upset over all these self righteous bitches who get married in white? Like, seriously, WHITE???
I sometimes forgot to wear it! I also chose not to wear it because it was a bit bulky and I would end up scratching myself or my cats. I was just uncomfortable sometimes. I would definitely wear it going out to dinner or anything like that!
ReplyDeleteWhen I got married I just wore the wedding ring and my husband got mad so I started wearing the engagement ring.
do not care, she and her queer in the closet are irrelevant at this point.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of SATC, Carrie got married in white. That character was many things, "virgin" was not one of them.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband and I became a couple he wanted to show his commitment to me. He got me a very simple ring with my birth stone and another stone since he couldn't find a ring with my stone alone. The combination was very nice. I wore the ring every day and if I didn't wear it I felt naked. When we became engaged since he was not that well off I told him I didn't need an engagement ring. The commitment ring was good enough.
ReplyDeleteLOL@harriet. I second that comment LOL.
ReplyDeleteI'd never worn jewelry in my life before, so when I wore my engagement ring, it felt weird. It made my hand cramp up and the bones in my finger ache. Eventually, I got used to it, but then I'd get soap trapped under it and it would cause an allergic reaction on my skin.
ReplyDeleteNow, I try to wear it when I go out, but it's not necessary. People know I love my husband and we're committed to each other - don't need a ring to show that.
While engaged the only time I didn't wear my ring was when I was talking to my parents in the front yard and gesturing with my hands and the ring flew off and into the tree. Luckily we found it and I promptly brought it to the jeweler to be resized. When we got married I had one of those "insert" rings where the engagement ring goes in the center - I wore that 24 hours a day for about 3 days until my husband begged me to not wear it at night because he was getting all scratched up. Now I just wear my 10-year anniversary band, no engagement ring, but I do take it off at night (my hubby takes his ring off at night too, but we both have "tan lines" on our ring fingers so I know it doesn't come off any other time).
ReplyDeleteI flash the big rock every chance I get and only take it off for cleaning (and a break-up or two).
ReplyDeleteI wore my engagement ring and subsequent wedding band constantly for 17 1/2 years, but then I started getting the arthritis in my ring finger and so took off the rings temporarily (my knuckle was swelling and I was afraid the rings would be stuck on my finger). My finger got better but I never put the ring back on because I realized how much I used to bang it on stuff and how much it hindered me in general. My husband has never gotten into wearing his wedding ring (has worn it sporadically, at best) and was not troubled by my not wearing my ring. Recently I got a replacement ring (inexpensive) that is easier to wear because it doesn't have a setting that sticks up, if that makes sense. Still, I don't wear it constantly; only when I remember to put it on.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't used to jewelry so at first I was very paranoid and would take off my engagement ring when I washed my hands, did dishes, went in the shower, etc...After I got used to it I never took it off except when I broke my arm and had surgery (I had my mom take it to keep it safe because you never know what can happen in hospitals-I had a pair of pink sapphire earrings "disappear" between an accident site and the emergency room another time.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, my wedding band is kind of fancy and my engagement ring is plain and lovely-but they don't "match". So now I wear my engagement ring on my right hand and my wedding band on my left.
Her publicist also said "Sometimes Rachel leaves her expensive jewelry at home." Uh, excuse me, but didn't she just recently have a "burglary?" I might be simple, but if I had just been burgled and lost $300K of my stuff, I would not go out and leave my engagement ring at home. But I understand what the engagement ring is supposed to symbolize, I don't think this is anything to Rachel except a PR stunt/prop. Hopefully Hayden wised up and realized she's nothing more than a desperate attention seeking fame whore.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't like jewellery on my hands. Somehow it's not very comfortable for me to wear rings or bracelets. I take off rings everytime I wash my hands and then ocassionally loose them. So when I got my engagement ring I wore it from time to time, but I felt it was safer for it to be in the jewellery box. And I also don't wear my wedding ring.
ReplyDeleteI get grief all the time from the guys in the office about not wearing my rings, and I have an assortment. My first wedding band was (is) is a really wide band and bulky. Couldn't wear it for more than an hour. My engagement ring has a high set diamond and I bang it all the time. Then hubby bought me a new band with diamonds all around. I do wear it when I remember, but as soon as I walk in the door I take it off. Hubby is a doctor and has never worn his wedding band because he kept leaving it behind too many times after scrubbing.
ReplyDeleteI am like the rest of the posters who really never took my engagement ring off one second of my engagement, other than to clean it. In my case, my wedding ring matches the band in my engagement ring, so I like that I can not always wear the engagement ring and still have sparkle going on.
ReplyDeleteI respect the fact that there are folks who aren't comfortable wearing jewelry, and I totally understand the point other posters have made about not wearing their ER all the time after they were married, or even wearing their wedding ring for that matter, that their commitment between each other runs deeper than the jewelry on their fingers. However, Rachel is NOT married yet, which is the point Enty is making. I think the majority of us would agree that once we were given an engagement ring, whether it be simple or inexepensive or massive and/or expensive, we wore and showed it off until at least our wedding day. I believe the point Enty is also trying to make, is that if jewelry isn't such a big deal to her (which I highly doubt, but then I don't know her personally, only going off photos posted in the past)then why even have a ring you maybe or maybe do not wear? And if that's the case, if Hayden is legit (and not gayer than a French horn as another poster wrote) then you'd hope he'd know her a lot better than that and would have gotten her something she was more comfortable with, whether it was a puppy, a bracelett or a plant.
And then again, maybe she's a total space cadet. Or like J.Lo, using her rings to send secret messages.
The tradition of wearing a white dress began in Victorian times and has nothing to do with virginity or lack there of. People started to wear white to show off their wealth by having a dress made that was only to be worn once, as white is an impractical color. It is also considered to be a joyous color. Before that, women usually just wore their best dress. It is simply a tradition, not a flag of virginity.
ReplyDeleteIsn't her ring all she's known about these days? Yawn.
ReplyDeleteI hate solitaire engagement rings.
ReplyDeleteI can't conceive of why so many women wear them.
Yes, it's a non-sequiteur, I just had to say it.
Oh, and in Rachel Bilson's case, cuz she's not really engaged and is serving as a (not very convincing) beard for Mr Whatshisname Gayface.
ReplyDeleteI've never dreamed about flashy engagement rings. I just want a very simple modern wedding band.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I'm not a celebrity dating a man rumored to be gay. Rachel has got to know that everyone is looking at her finger every time she goes out. She's playing a game.
I think it clearly shows a lack of, er, commitment to her engagement.
ReplyDeleteIf some fool man was ever silly enough to ask me to marry him, you better believe I would be wearing that ring all the damn time. In fact, you would have to pry it off my cold, dead hand!
ReplyDeleteEngagement ring = flaunt flaunt flaunt
I have engagement diamond earrings instead of a ring. I love them and he's not too bad either ;) I don't wear them everyday, only for special occasions or important events. I wanted something unique and imagined my daughter wearing them years from now.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was engaged I didn't wear my engagement ring all the time either. Probably less than 50% of the time. After all, it wasn't the jewelry that was important, it was the step toward commitment that we'd made.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm married I don't wear my wedding ring all the time either.
The thing is, Rachel has the ring on all the time. And now all of a sudden she doesn't wear it three times and her publicist says that "she doesn't always wear it." Since when does she doesn't always wear it? This is a new development, lol. That's the only thing keeping her in the news. That and the fact that she forces herself on the public by pap tipping all the damn time when she's in the LA area.
ReplyDeleteI wear it all the time, and will continue to do so after I'm married. And if I was a celebrity under constant media speculation, I wouldn't just "happen" not to wear it. It would be deliberate.
ReplyDeleteFiggy, I love my solitaire setting! I think a solitaire is classy and gorgeous - rings that are too big, with too many diamonds or other stones, are tacky
I didn't wear my engagement ring all of the time and for years after we got married I didn't even wear a wedding ring. We eloped and I don't have a traditional wedding ring. I now wear a Sterling silver band. My husband doesn't wear one at all.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is a big deal. It was more about the marriage than the jewelry for me.
Have she and Hayden C. even been seen together recently? Forget always showing up without your ring. If you're always showing up w/o your fiance (faux or not) then I say there might just be a problem.
ReplyDelete9 years after receiving it, I still wake up in the middle of the night regularly to check that it's still there. Never leaves my finger.
ReplyDeleteI almost NEVER wear jewellery and when I do wear a ring, I always end up taking it off to wash my hands and then forgetting it, then having to run back to the bathroom 2 hours later and hope it's still there. I wouldn't be surprised if I often forget to wear my engagement/wedding rings when I get married. I don't think it completely matters, my Dad has never worn a ring and he and my Mom are still happily married after 30 years. Maybe Rachel Bilson is just like me and forgetful.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe her "fiance" is actually a closeted gay man who needs a beard. You know, same difference. Not wearing the ring can't be a sign of problems in the relationship if there is no relationship to begin with.
Her ring, she can do what she wants.
ReplyDeleteI never got an engagement ring. If I would have gotten one .. I probably would have worn it. I saw the one he gave to his first wife .. it was pretty nice. Me .. me he stiffed. It should be no wonder that this marriage is shit. I also had to buy my own wedding ring .. if that clears the picture further for ya. I don't wear it because it is meaningless to me .. in so many ways it isn't even funny.
ReplyDeleteMaybe some day I will find someone who loves me enough to get me an engagement ring, wants to marry me to the point of actually asking me - he really never even asked me .. it was just a given - and will actually want to buy me a wedding ring as well. Maybe for an added benefit, he might want children as well?? I can hope and dream .. but at 43 .. almost 44 .. I think it is kinda too late.
I wore my engagement ring and then both my engagement and wedding rings, all the time except for showering and lotioning up. I am also not a jewelry person but I got used to it. Didn't matter in the end, we got divorced and I'm going to court tomorrow to get a permanent restraining order against him...I didn't wear white either - I wore a green dress because that's what I wanted. I just didn't marry the right person and that's what matters, not whether or not you wear a ring or what color dress you get married in.
ReplyDeletethis is a discussion i've been wanting to have for a long time. harumph!
ReplyDeletei have a beautiful diamond, handed down from mr. buns' grandmother, who got it from her father, along with a couple of others. well, by the time it came to us, the one left was the large one. it's an old fashioned cut, one of the most gorgeous things i've ever seen. and i know better than to take it off for washing, showering, bunny doctoring, SWIMMING (what if it falls out? i'd never recover it!). so i often take it off and put it in the jeweler cleaning stuff. which makes it pretty when i wear it, but also means it gets left behind alot.
i had it reset about 10 years ago, so it's a single ring with baguets (i actually like the original $150 setting better, but it broke), but it's hard to clean, so i'm without it quite often. when we go on vacation, i get my original wedding band, which has an odd shape, and wear it, so i don't lose the diamond.
yes, i could financially replace it, but i haven't even bothered to insure it, because a replacement wouldn't mean anything to me. i loved his grandmother, i love how this stone looks (try getting a diamond cut in a "miner's cut" now days, without getting ripped off), and it's just safer at times to leave it at home.
my friends here know what a happy marriage i have, and i've even discussed having a simple band made with REAL birthstones of the kids and about-to=be granddaughter to wear and not worry about.
there are many reasons and choices between wearing or not wearing one's engagement/wedding ring. if i could figure out a way that i was assured mine would never be lost, i'd wear mine more.
whew. good to get that off my chest!!!
Very good points Bionic Bunny, but you obviously aren't a desperate and pathetic fame whore who is simply using the "engagement" ring for attention.
ReplyDelete