Dancing With The Stars Contestants
All the pictures are courtesy of ABC which is why they look like they have been airbrushed more than any photos in the history of the world. They don't want you thinking they have a bunch of ugly people dancing on their show.
Mya, singer
I like her. She could do very well.
Melissa Joan Hart, actress
I also like Melissa. She will also bring her kids and husband to every episode for the sympathy vote.
Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboy
Don't like him. Most likely to hit on Mya.
Ashley Hamilton, actor, comedian, singer-songwriter
Comedian? Well, I guess the thought of him being married to Shannen Doherty is funny. Isn't Alana Stewart his mom? Would she show up wearing an I love Farrah pin every week and holding a copy of her book? Probably. Most likely to have sex with Paris Hilton.
Aaron Carter, singer
When you are an answer to a blind item and it isn't a kindness, you don't deserve to win. Just saying.
Kathy Ireland, former supermodel-turned-businesswoman
I know lots of you like her, but she just really rubs me the wrong way.
Debi Mazar, actress
Entourage. What else do you need? Oh, did she ever have sex with Madonna?
Natalie Coughlin, U.S. Olympic swimmer
Don't know her off the top of my head. The Olympic thing seems to be a regular now on the show.
Louie Vito, snowboarder
I thought it said Don Vito at first and couldn't believe they were going to put a child molester on the show. I have no idea who Louie is, but he looks very cool and seems to love his parents. Does he live at home though? That would make him my favorite.
Chuck Liddell, ultimate fighting champ
Most likely to come with a new girlfriend each week. Most likely to kick the crap out of Michael Irvin.
Donny Osmond, singer
Wants to faint just like his sister. I am predicting he makes it to the final four.
Tom DeLay, former Republican congressman
Seriously?
Macy Gray, singer
An interesting place for her to make a comeback.
Joanna Krupa, model and actress
Most likely to get hit on.
Mark Dacascos, Iron Chef personality
It's the Iron Chef. Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Kelly Osbourne, reality star
Sharon and Ozzy there for every show? Kelly is the most likely to quit.
Love the captions Enty. I hope Kelly or Macy wins this season.
ReplyDeleteIf Mark Dacascos were a food item it'd be a cornball.
ReplyDeleteMEh they could have Queen Elizabeth, the Pope and osama Bin Laden.....i still won't be watching
ReplyDeleteWhat was Aaron Carter's blind item?
ReplyDeleteI already hope Donny wins. I ushered at the Chicago Theater about 20 times just so I could see him for free in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. He was SOOOOO good! (Plus I'm old enough to remember the original Donny & Marie show.)
Word was that he was an uber-mensch on Joseph, and very well-liked among the cast and crew. That always makes me like a celeb much more. Stable too, unlike poor Marie.
That's not airbrushing, that's recreating some of their images in Adobe Illustrator.
ReplyDeleteWTF is Tom DeLay doing on there??? Oh, LORD.
Can't help but secretly love Donny (don't tell anyone).
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ReplyDeleteYeah, figgy, I have heard forever that Donny O is the Real Deal as far as his humility and real-life niceness.
ReplyDeleteI used to WORSHIP Donny & Marie!
They really are both very talented, kind of like the Michael and Janet J. of Utah.
Photochop was not kind to Debi Mazar or Joanna Krupa.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch DWTS, but if I did, I'd skip this one for them giving airtime to anyone named Hamilton.
Say what you want about Mormonism, but they sure have some happy, nice, well-adjusted members! I'm just sayin!
ReplyDeleteNobody that would make me watch it but I do like Donny Osmond.
ReplyDeleteHoly Crap! I might have to actually watch this season...........I mean, Iron Chef! what, he didn't have a bad sci-fi movie to star in?
ReplyDeleteoh and Btw, Aaron Carters eyebrows are freaking me out! they make his eyes look life-less.......
ReplyDeleteAaron Carter blind? -
ReplyDeleteWhich blonde former teen singing-acting sensation hooked up with a woman twice his age? Even though he’s young, his cougar fling is bragging that he was experienced beyond his years.
I might actually watch this season, for one man and one man only: THE CHAIRMAN!
ReplyDeleteEnty - Awesome captions.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping my instincts are correct and Lacey gets paired with the snowboarder and NOT Nick Carter. Loves me some Lacey!
ReplyDeleteCan Melissa Joan Hart like DO something besides make crass Farrah comments/bitch and moan to People mag to get attention? Seriously, this show is not going to revive your career.
Finally, here's to a Chairman Kaga/Mya (please let her be paired with Maks) faceoff in the finale. Oh yeah, I love this cheesy show!
Hey Enty, great timing on this post! A coworker just told me this morning that her cousin is going to be on DWTS this season...and that his name is Louie Vito. I had never heard of him either, but she informed me that he is a professional snowboarder. Who knew?
ReplyDeleteI had such a HUGE Donny crush back in the day. I even had purple socks with his picture on them, because he always said purple was his favorite color. ~~sigh~~
ReplyDeleteI'm rooting for Donny or The Chairman to win. I like Mya and Macy Gray, and the snowboarder could be a surprise star. Everyone else...meh. Oh, except I hope Tom DeLay makes more of an ass out himself that he did in his political career. You know - all of Woz's dancing talent, none of the teddy-bear charm.
I used to love Donny too until he showed up almost everyday on Entertainment Tonight. That show just invents topics for him to discuss.
ReplyDeleteHe was also on Extra every week giving his "expert advice" when Marie was on DWTS.
I know he's a singer and dancer but he's no ballroom dancer so WTF kind of expert is he in that area?
Too much Donnie killed it for me. I imagine he's going to give me a cavity from all the sugar sweetness he'll display on the show.
Love Kelly~ but that pic is soooo icky, no-likeee!
ReplyDeleteWhat was the blind item about Aaron? Does anyone know...meth most likely!
From Kevin Smith's Twitter:
ReplyDeleteThatKevinSmith: From @virgiliocorrado "When are you going to be on dancing with the stars?" Shortly after I put up the "FOR SALE: DIGNITY" ad on CraigsList.
Oh boy.. this is better than the nuts on Big Brother. Might be the season to watch!
ReplyDeleteI thought the last picture was Shirley Jones...
ReplyDeleteI love Joana Krupa after she cussed out Terrel Owens on that sports show. For once in his life, he kept his mouth shut. I think she would have slapped him silly if he would have said anything back to her. She told him "You call yourself an athlete? She's getting my vote for that alone.
ReplyDeleteDo we know who the pros are paired with?
I think the politician will be the first one voted off the island.
Loved the captions (as always).
ReplyDeleteI had always thought that Aaron Carter would have been in the blinds for being gay or something drug related. Really? He was doing the nasty with an older woman (presumably Teri Snatcher). Now that IS nasty.
I might actually watch an episode or two this season. never have before, but Kelly Osbourne and Debi "Fabulous Bitch" Mazar ballroom dancing? Queen, please!
ReplyDeleteI will admit I am already a DWTS addict. With Mark Dacascos on the show this year my family will be staging an intervention when/if he is eliminated. I'm from the Donny O era, and I would have been rooting for him, but not with Mark on.
ReplyDeleteNosey Parker - good catch!
Chuck Liddell-I Hate when guys wear a black shirt with a tie-TACKY!
ReplyDeleteI hope the guy from Iron Chef wins. I like him.
This must be Douching With The Stars. Really, DeLay? Ultimate Fighting Champ? Blech! They should have gotten Gina Carano. Debi Mazar? Doesn't she have a semi-career?
ReplyDeleteyou KNOW macy gray will be the one bringing the weed. *pictures kelly osbourne lining up*
ReplyDeleteConsider me in the Mark Dacascos camp. I remember watching Iron Chef one day and thinking, man the Chairman is hot, he looks familiar too. Then I looked him up and saw he was the guy from Brotherhood of the Wolf
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I have decided I will watch for the first time. Primary motivation: seeing whether Mark Dacascos has any other vocabulary beyond that on Iron Chef. As I recall, he looks pretty fit and bendy!
ReplyDeleteWow...the Chairman and Donny on the same show, count me in!!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I also think Kelly Osbourne will quit the show.
"Winner, winner, chicken dinner."
ReplyDeletethat had me LOL. i may actually watch this show for once.
aaron cartor eyebrows drawn on BADLY
ReplyDeleteha@ Kevin Smith's comment. Coming from the guy whose movies are 50% potty words strung together incoherently with profanity, that's priceless.
ReplyDeleteMacy looks fierce! I love her voice-singing and talking voice. I hope she wins.
ReplyDeletePlease post no more pics of Aaron Carter. Looking at him makes me feel ill.
ReplyDeleteI guess Tori and Dean's campaigning didn't win them a spot? One of them will be on there eventually.
ReplyDeleteI've been in love with Donny for about 10 years now. I'm 22 but that's not the point. I've also always liked Melissa. I hope they show this on a channel in the UK.
ReplyDeleteOh man, DWTS making choose between Donny Osmond and Mark Dacascos? This is gonna be hard. Do I go with my first love or my current crush? hmmm
ReplyDeleteWell, I did wear out 3 45s of Donny's "Puppy Love". I had the Donny pillowcase, the purple socks, and the lunchbox. Let's not even talk about how many Tiger Beat posters I had of him up on my bedroom walls.
But Mark can do those amazing martial arts flips and kicks (jk) and the gleam in his eye when he takes a huge bite out of his apple hints to something pretty naughty.
Sorry Mark, I have to go with Donny for the win. And if he would just sing "Puppy Love" or "Go Away Little Girl", I would be happy.
Wow, I will actually watch this show just so I can vote for Tom DeLay. I hope he wins, it's nice to have someone that us crazy right-wingers can root for. We're coming back, so watch out liberal douchebags! LOL!
ReplyDeleteOh man, I do hope Tom DeLay doesn't get eliminated first, but I might actually watch this so I can root for KELLY! She seems adorable and reminded me of how I was as a teen when she was a teenager. Also, one of her favorite songs is "The Neverending Story" by Limahl, which means girlfriend's got to be a fellow '80s chick!
ReplyDelete