Oh, what a Hollywood pic of enviable and domestic bliss we have in the very handsome couple that is Snort-Up and Sass-Bitch Summerland. I mean, babes, they have it all: heaps of good looks, great bods, he's got a pretty stand-up career as an actor (Hers? Less so), they both have very beautiful hair, not to mention tons and tons of family loot. What's not to be jealous of?
Uh, for starters, the fact that they screw around on each other, right and un-safe sex left, they scream and yell at each other, he takes more drugs than Sienna Miller chases after married men, plus, he can't keep a friggin' job 'cause he's doin' so much of a the blow these days!
Hey, yeah, everybody really wants to be them, uh-huh.
But, folks are wondering, why does Sass-Bitch stay with Snort-Up, as his flagrant disregard for their agreement to have "discreet" encounters with others is totally getting ignored by Snort-Up's highly visible philandering. Her reason?
"They're both waiting for the next installment of his family inheritance to come in," says a friend who knows the couple well. "They don't care about each other, it's the money they're concerned about—that's it."
Wow. Really healthy reason to stay together, huh? I mean, even the Gosselins know it's best to split up, regardless what ratings cash comes their way.
Oh, and another thing: Snort-Up's notorious gf? They keep breaking up, over and over, only to get back together as often. And guess what keeps reuniting them? It ain't Snort-Up's loot, I'll tell ya that much (she's got her own).
"It's the drugs," says the Summerland's mutual friend, who knows Mr. Summerland's mistress also quite well. "They do piles of coke, have tons of sex, come down, break up, then start the whole thing all over again. Meanwhile, the wife's just off spending all their money."
Mrs. S.'s obviously not investing in rehab for her hubby anytime soon, 'cause the dude would probably divorce her the sec he sobered up!
It Ain't: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie; Beyoncé and Jay-Z; Julia Roberts and Danny Moder
so people who try to keep their personal lives private of we go by the "and it aint"...
ReplyDelete*if, not of!
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ReplyDeleteWill and Jada?
ReplyDeleteI'll guess Bathazar Getty, his wife, and Sienna. I do not think he is officially separated from his wife, I know he is a Getty grandson (I saw a recent interview with his sister who is very lowkey about the money she receives etc, but he is not). I do not know about his wife's money though. No need to speak about Sienna, nothing new there, jmo.
ReplyDeleteObviously Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller. It doesn't say that the wife is an actress only that her career is not as successful. Right?
ReplyDeleteSJP and Matthew Broderick?
ReplyDeleteAdam Sandler and his wife?
Oliver Hudson and Erinn Bartlett
ReplyDeleteI think Rosetta Getty is a designer, and I do think she's got some family money.
ReplyDeleteProblem I have with guessing the Getty's is the opening line "Oh, what a Hollywood pic of enviable and domestic bliss we have in the very handsome couple..."
Pic of enviable and domestic bliss? I don't think that describes the Gettys at all.
And this line, "he's got a pretty stand-up career as an actor ..." makes me think the guy started as a comic.
The Seinfelds? Does Jerry have family money?
The Stillers? Ben does, did he ever do standup?
I'm not sold on the Gettys, so I'm stumped.
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ReplyDeleteHow about the Penns? Does Sean have family money?
ReplyDeleteI'M LOST.......IF HE WERE YOUNGER I'D SAY MICHAEL DOUGLAS...BUT THAT TIME HAS PASSED.
ReplyDeleteThe Stillers guess is quite interesting LSMaM! Ben seems prick-ish enough to be that blatant about running around on his wife. He did start as a stand-up and her career compared to his is nothing. If he doesn't have a movie out she doesn't have a gig like Judd Apotow and Leslie Mann...ooooooo maybe it's them? But does he have any family money?
ReplyDeleteWe're pretty sure Jason Bateman is sober now, right?
ReplyDeleteBen Stiller has a gazillion dollars.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Little Miss...gotta be something to the "stand-up" thing...
ReplyDeleteI agree with the "stand-up" crowd -- there's gotta be something stand-uppy to solve this one. Stiller makes money from movies, not via inheritance, as far as I know. Who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and a little coke spoon in their nose?
ReplyDeleteI thought of the Stiller's but got stuck on the "heaps of good looks" line.
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ReplyDeleteAnd the hair comment~ what about that? Rules out Stiller, Smith.
ReplyDeleteWas thinking Jim Carrey Jenny McCarthy, but they are not married....hmm.
Cash & Jessica?
ReplyDeleteJosh & Fergie?
Eva & Tony?
Now I'm just guessing....:)
Jay Mohr & Nikki Cox.
ReplyDeleteThe question is which male actor has "family inheritance" prospects. To the best of my knowledge B Getty really is the only truly "rich" kid actor. Randy Spelling, Tori's brother, might potentially qualify but I don't think he's married.
ReplyDeleteThat leaves the next pool as second generation Hollywood actors whose parents are presumably wealthy. The "next installment" implies that money is being paid out over time, probably from a trust on milestones such as thirtieth birthday etc., and we're not necessarily waiting for the death of the parent. This would open it up to people like Josh Brolin, Oliver Hudson etc. I'll have to think about it more.
what about Diane Lane and Josh Brolin?
ReplyDeletegood looks, nice bods, great hair, his career slightly better than hers right now, family money (his daddy married to Streisand)....
just a thought...
Isn't Brolin independently wealthy from the money he made in the stock market?
ReplyDeleteOkay, family inheritance has to be Getty. Plus, who else has a 'notorious gf'?
ReplyDeleteGotta be Sienna.
brooke burke and david charvet
ReplyDeleteSasha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher?
ReplyDeleteI'm just grasping at e-straws though.
but stillers parents are also famous so maybe thats where the fam $ comes in
ReplyDeleteIf we can figure out what the aint's have in common, it would give us a place to start. Seven degrees of Brad Pitt, anyone?
ReplyDeleteThis must be Josh Brolin and Diane Lane because I just went through Lainey's celeb index and absolutely no one else fits! The only other possibilities I could come up with could maybe be Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix? or Eric Dane and Rebecca...Dane? Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick? Tobey McGuire? and his rich wife? whatever. Just can't figure it out. No one famous for hair like Johnny Depp and Patrick Dempsey for instance, or Josh Holloway who CAN and does hold a job well. James McAvoy? but doesn't have a bod does he? Warren Beatty if it was an oldy...
ReplyDeletehelp...this one bugs me because it has so many clues. Josh Brolin and Diane Lane?
"Stand-up" makes me wonder: who's in the cast of Funny People? Anyone who might fit?
ReplyDeleteNow that I've gone looking: Jason Schwartzman and Brady Cunningham?
ReplyDeleteAfter thinking it over I'm left tied between Balthazar Getty and Josh Brolin.
ReplyDeleteThe blind basically says that the couple are staying together because they're awaiting an inheritance. Consequently I can't see that it would be any actors who are making or have made piles of money (the wife would just grab that). Thus people like Stiller, Seinfeld, Smith, Penn, Douglas etc. aren't relevant. Similarly actresses who are more financially successful than their husbands, which was not the blind, would leave out people like Alba, Parker etc.
The only "stand-in" reference that I could see as relevant is the "Stand-Up To Cancer" public service campaign/event. The problem is that both Balthazar Getty and Josh Brolin seem to have participated!
Obviously including reference to Sienna Miller is totally gratuitous and is either a clue or, no pun intended, a "blind" to mislead. On the other hand Balthazar Getty also appears to be high functioning, inasmuch as he's in a TV series.
Josh Brolin had a lucky streak of films in 2007/8 but before that his career was dead. Because of that I doubt he got much money for those movies, most of which were lower budget independent productions. Since then he has hardly worked. While there are numerous articles about him being an active day-trader in the stock market, before the market collapse, I recall reading that he also had to sell his ranch to get cash before his lucky streak of films.
Frankly I hope its neither of them because I'd hate to think of anyone engaging in the behavior cited but in terms of the names cited that would be my analysis.
Interesting blind ...
ReplyDeleteI agree with all about the Getty's. However, I am really liking the Brolin/Lane or even the Penn/Wright guess except for that "stand up" comment.
Good looks, Great bods, very beautiful hair ... Is there a single "stand up" (comedian) that anyone could think of that would fit that profile? Seinfeld? Stiller? None of the others seem to fit. This almost has to be the Brangelina of the "comedy world" so to speak.
As Daveb said, maybe it does have to do with the "Stand up for Cancer" promos.
ReplyDeleteThat would make it more likely to be the Gettys or Brolins.
Which of them has an inheritance installment coming in shortly? Most probably Getty, I would think, but who knows ...
I thought Getty wasn't getting any family money due to his past "drug issues" Anyone else remember reading that?
ReplyDeleteWhat's the date on this blind? I think Mrs. Getty filed for the Big D a couple of days ago so I guess the payment went through ($$$!!!). SM and BG are my first choice because I'm assuming it's a GF that's been around and photo'd.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking "Funny People" too, David D, but I don't know who Adam's wife is and Leslie and Judd don't fit the clues and don't know anything else about the movie to extrapolate more. Stiller and Taylor are interesting but I think both his 'rents are still around. Brolin's dad is still around and I'm sure Diane has way more $$ than he so what inheritance is there? Leaving.....
One can hardly say that Diane Lane's career is less "stand-up" than Brolin's. In my opinion, she is the bigger star.
ReplyDeletewhat about ... david arquette and courtney cox? doesn't he have family money? and more of a "stand-up" career than hers? she's got very beautiful hair, and he's been sighted with other women on more than one occasion -- ?
ReplyDeletebut courtney's got Friends cash. And that's a lot.
ReplyDeleteBut Courtney is more famous than David. I think Ted made this one up just to fuck with us. :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely Getty. Wasn't he fired from Brother's and Sisters because of bad behavior, rumored to be drug related, on set?
ReplyDeletehttp://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2009/02/balthazar-getty.html
Turkish Taffy: Diane Lane has made sexy fluff lately. Josh Brolin was in something award winning/critically aclaimed twice over the past yr, too lazy to check what but it made him an "actor" while she's not so much known for acting as she is for her looks and marriage...
ReplyDeleteok now I recall nominations for No Country for Old Men, W, and Milk
ReplyDeleteyeah she's def well known but I didn't see Under the Tuscan Sun, Must Love Dogs or Unfaithful although she made several movies in 2008.
I don't think it's Sienna & Balthazar since she was mentioned in the blind by name. Also the And It Ain'ts make me think someone more high profile A List than those two.
ReplyDeleteI think it's Getty and Sienna. There was a rumor the Rosanna would never divorce him bc she would lose out on money. And his family was on her side. I also think Ted toys with his readers and threw Sienna's name in there just to be obvious. I remember back when Pixie Mixie and Morgan mayhem had their first blind item and he kept "notting" nicole richie as morgan mayhem and everyone just assumed she wasn't pixie mixie either
ReplyDeleteFirst off, for a structured inheritence to be paid over a lengthy period of time, it has to be a MAJOR fortune (upwards of hundred(s) of millions, probably).
ReplyDeleteNext, according to IMDB, Balthazar Getty will be 40 next year. That strikes me as a "major" birthday - the type of milestone that a vastly wealthy family (and their lawyers) might determine is a "proper" age to transfer the funds into Getty's control.
So, I vote for Balthazar Getty.
The main problem I'm having with this blind is the Ain'ts - none of the couples listed would fit the profile of this blind anyway. Beyonce Jay-Z? Equal in perceived 'star' power, plus Jay is not an actor. Julia is the breadwinner of her family. And Angelina and Brad, besides being equal in terms of star power and acting careers, aren't even married, but then I'm used to people consistently overlooking that fact by now.
ReplyDeleteJulia and Danny in particular stand out to me in the ain'ts b/c they aren't a hot commodity at all as a couple.
So...I don't know. I'm really not on board with either the Getty or Brolin/Lane guesses, but it's b/c with Ted's blinds I try to relate whoever the guess is to ALL of the ain'ts and I'm not seeing any concrete connections here. Whoever said they think Ted may be screwing with us right now, I tend to agree wit them.
Oops, in my earlier post, I meant to say that Balthazar Getty will be 35 early next year, not 40 (I was never good at math).
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm no a lawyer, but I do know that 35 is an age when many kinds of trusts have to, for tax reasons, pay the proceeds to the beneficiary. Although Enty probably can't comment, because he wants to keep the blind, maybe another lawyer out there can verify this information.
I keep looking at Getty's hair and trying to make myself believe it's good. But he doesn't have beautiful hair. Nor does Rosetta (I mean, it's good, Rosetta, if you're reading this, we love you!). Also, she's raising their children and hence wants the Getty money, and the family wants to keep her and the kids in the picture, so they're not staying together for the trust fund as much as because the moneybags in his family want to keep his children protected. So says the internet, and the internet is always right, right?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.inquisitr.com/3041/balthazar-gettys-wife-says-no-way-to-divorce/