Have They Made A Tinker Toy Movie Yet?
Over the past 24 hours I have read some of the most ridiculous ideas for movies that despite my incredulity and I am sure yours appear to be on track to get made. Here is a sample of the foolishness that Hollywood has in store for us.
The Hollywood Reporter reports that DreamWorks is in negotiations with Mattel to buy the movie rights to the View-Master toy. You remember the toy don't you? Little round circles with negatives of pictures in the holes which you would watch through your own personal view finder. Click the lever and it advances to the next picture. That sounds like a real winner doesn't it? The plan right now calls for some kind of "Transformers" magic to be done to the toy. I guess that is the buzzword right now. Say something is Transformers like and get a greenlight for a movie that will lose a ton. I think this trend will immediately cease when GI Joe hits theatres. This movie is going to be one of the most truly awful pieces of crap that has ever hit the big screen. You thought Speed Racer was a bomb. That stink you are smelling is GI Joe coming to a theatre near you.
Did you enjoy the television show TJ Hooker? Well, you probably did if you enjoyed seeing William Shatner with dyed hair and stuffing himself into a policeman's uniform. Oh, or if you were a big fan of Adrian Zmed. Adrian who? Exactly. Now granted Heather Locklear was on the show as well and her Academy Award level acting skill just brought it all together seamlessly. Well, they are going to make a TJ Hooker movie now. It is scheduled to be a comedy and my first reaction was it must be less expensive to just make a Police Academy sequel or something and save the embarrassment of William Shatner wanting to have a cameo. Besides Steve Guttenberg needs the work and that voices guy is doing GEICO commercials.
Another horrible television show that is making its way to the movies is Baywatch. Because we all know that what the world really needs is an extended version of that show. I'm sure Pamela needs the work and that The Hoff will contribute the soundtrack to the album, but honestly I would rather watch what they do to the View-Master toy than watch 80 minutes of this trash. And that by the way would probably be 80 minutes including about 8 minutes for opening and closing credits.
