Gwyneth Demands Attention - So She Detoxes Again
After last Christmas when Gwyneth Paltrow wrote about her detox, she received some positive publicity. At this point any positives for her are fairly rare, so she did what she does best. She detoxed again. I know many of you have written that you followed her detox program from Christmas and that it worked. I'm glad it did and I will always give credit where it is due so golf clap to Gwyneth.
That being said, I am wondering just how often she needs to detox, and do we have to read about it every time? How often is she going to write about detoxing herself and how fabulous it is and how fabulous she is and how she needed to rid herself of the 2 pounds she had gained over the past six months. The thing I dislike about her is that she can convey even good information that many of you like but make you hate her while she conveys it. She has a problem relating to people and you would think that perhaps instead of a detox program that maybe she would look into a sensitivity program or a think about it before you speak program or have someone proofread what she writes in her newsletter so she doesn't sound pompous and arrogant.
Here is what Gwyneth wrote.
"This program allowed me to work and exercise regularly, something I cannot do if I am on a liquid-only detox. I followed it to the letter and I can report that it worked wonders. I feel pure and happy and much lighter (I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly fun and delicious “relax and enjoy life phase” about a month ago). I also really enjoyed learning about the incredible health benefits of resting your digestive system, etc. This thing is amazing."
So, what she is saying if I am reading this right is that when you are on a liquid only detox which she advocated earlier this year, you basically need to stay on your sofa and have your nannies take care of the kids and someone else cook for them and someone to do the cleaning.
It is the next part where I think she needs to think about what she is writing and how it affects people. Everyone of us knows that Gwyneth is not a normal weight. So, for her to say to the world that she needed to drop extra pounds she had gained it makes you wonder if she has a sense of what a normal size and body type is. Even for those of you who are out there and are a size 0, chances are if you gained two pounds, you wouldn't need a detox to rid yourself of it. Does anyone think she gained more than two pounds?
This relax and enjoy life phase. Anyone have any guesses to what that means? I think it means she allowed herself to have an entire meal once a week. I also hope that she is allowing her children to relax and enjoy their lives and they don't end up this uptight.
I do sometimes think that Gwyneth means well, but she is just so awful at it, that she makes herself look even worse.
I don't care for her.
ReplyDeleteshe's socially awkward. good thing she's an actress, she'd be a horribly obnoxious nerd out in the real world. if she wasn't such an ass i'd feel sorry for her.
ReplyDeleteShe really needs to look into a sensitivty program.
ReplyDeleteWhat extra pounds? Where did they go? Her toes?
I'm on the fence about the detox thing - see how it could be helpful, yet sounds miserable - but what the hell is a 'relax and enjoy life phase'? PHASE?! Isn't that how we're supposed to live every DAY of our lives?! This woman....
ReplyDeleteMajor leg shininess there.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEvery time she opens her mouth I want to vomit. Does that qualify as a detox program?
ReplyDeleteThis woman is so out of touch with reality that it's sick and sad. She's led the Hollywood lifestyle her whole life, but obviously thinks people are going to relate to this and be grateful for her sharing this wonderful knowledge. She is at the very bottom of my list as to who I would like to have a conversation with. I'm not a violent person, but I think it would take me less than 2 minutes before I completely went off on her. I truly wish she would just go away; I hope one day she becomes the actor auditioning with 50 others for a fast-food commercial...and loses the gig.
ReplyDeleteI could never not eat for two weeks and just drink juice. That sounds awful really.
ReplyDeleteWhat does she always put on her legs. Baby oil? Vaseline? I would make her bring a towel before she sat on my couch.
ReplyDeleteI AM A SIZE 0, HOWEVER I'M NOT 5'10"
ReplyDeleteEITHER....THIS WOMAN IS BONKERS...AND STUPID. NOPE I WON'T DETOX...I EAT, SHE'S GOING TO HAVE REAL HEALTH ISSUES...SHE'S MESSING WITH HER BODY AND DOING GREAT DAMAGE...STUPID..STUPID..
If she leads such a healthy lifestyle as she claims, endlessly touting her raw vegan macrobiotic antiobiotic-free sludge, then why would she even need to detox?
ReplyDeleteIf Goopy was any more full of shit, she'd be a septic tank.
F*UCK OFF, BITCH is all I got to say to her.
ReplyDeletePlease just f*ck off and go "enjoy" your perfect little enchanted life with your skinny-ass, ugly, equally self-important husband.
I'm worried at 45 that my older but trim and gorgeous hubby will want a younger and skinnier woman EVERY F*CKING DAY. I don't need to be patronized to by some rich famous slag whore who obviously can't get real work so she dabbles in blogging and even though we don't read her crap blog we have to hear about it every time she farts.
I vote we BAN HER from CDAN.
How 'bout y'all?
Detoxing is a scam. Penn & Teller did a 'Bullshit' episode about it. If you just get enough fiber in your diet, you get all the benefits of a detox without the negatives.
ReplyDeleteShe prob doesn't fart, Selena. Since she wouldn't do anything as common as EAT FOOD! Heaven forbid!
ReplyDeleteThe 2 lbs this twit lost come from a lost sensitivity chip and any common sense. Now if she has a thought it dies of loneliness in her over-sized head.
Hee hee heeeeee! Feels good slagging off on some righteous bitch on a day like today when I'm bloated up to my earlobes with period cramps and sore boobs the size of melons.
ReplyDeleteHer website is no better than any of the pro-ana blogs I have seen. As a person who has spent most of my life obsessing about my weight and going on different diets (and mysteriously just kept gaining weight, hmmmm), and recently discovered that the best thing I could do for myself was to swear off diets and weight loss programs for all eternity, I have to say, I am so sick and tired of Gwyneth and every other actress/ celebrity/ f*cking meathead who can't stop talking about their "diet tricks". All they do is perpetuate a stereotype that all women want, really, is to be skinny. It's all Gwyneth ever writes about. If you ask me, Gwyneth has a serious eating disorder, which she is free to promote and recommend to young women everywhere with access to the internet and her shitty blog.
ReplyDeleteGwyneth needs therapy and a f*cking hamburger. A specific PHASE for enjoying life? That is NOT HEALTHY. Gwyneth, please, seek help, you are NOT WELL. And please disappear from the public eye while you work on your severely deteriorated mental health because your words, and words like yours, are killing young women all over the world.
Diets DO NOT WORK. Detoxes DO NOT WORK. Not in the long run. It should be clear to any person with half a brain that living on juice for any longer period of time is not good for you and OF COURSE you are not going to be able to exercise!! And this SURPRISED you??? You didn't know that, and now you feel that it is appropriate for you to give out weight loss tips? You should be locked up somewhere. I feel for your daughter. Poor thing, imagine the ideals and the body image she is growing up with.
If you are concerned about losing "a few pounds" you recently put on, whatever. WALK IT OFF, BITCH. For people who are actually overweight and want to do something about it - www.intuitiveeating.com.
As for Gwyneth....someone needs to stop her. Soon.
But seriously (@Mooshki)--can getting enough continual fiber really cleanse out the mucosal lining and all the weird junk inside?
ReplyDeleteCuz we eat a TON of fiber in my household and I am as regular as the sun coming up, but I really did think a periodic cleanse would get out other toxins and stubborn junk gummed up with the typical American "goo and glue" diet, even when one eats relatively healthy otherwise.
I was thinking of doing the 7-day Cabbage Soup thing to jump-start myself back into some of my favorite summer clothes that just ain't cuttin' it this year...
I have to watch my juice intake because I am very sensitive to the acids in most of them. After two weeks of nothing but juice, my gums would just be one great big oozing sore. Gross.
ReplyDeleteYay Harriet!!
ReplyDeletelol@CDANLUVA's comment :-)
MY DERMATOLOGIST RECOMMENDS LOTS OF LIQUIDS AND A FIBER TABLET DAILY IF YOU'RE NOT GETTING ENOUGH FIBER IN YOUR DIET..JUST TO KEEP THINGS MOVING CORRECTLY...REAL DOCTORS DON'T APPROVE OF THIS CRAP...HEAR ME GOOPIE.
ReplyDeleteP.S. NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF....JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
yeah, gwynnie really porked up. i'm so glad she dropped all that weight. don't let yourself go like that again, gwynnie. keep shitting!!
ReplyDeletecdanluva, LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have the same question as Selenakyle. I'd love to know how to get rid of all the extra junk.
Well, of course you can "get rid of extra junk" in a short period of time by eating and exercising a certain way. I didn't mean to make anyone feel stupid, I just get so angry with this kind of stuff because it's, in my opinion, a waste of time and confidence. Yes, if you do a detox, you will drop pounds. If you cut calories, or carbs, or whatever the latest trick is, yes, you will lose pounds. The problem is, you have to stick with it, and if you don't know what made you gain weight in the first place (meaning, it's not just about the act of eating, for many of us, there are deep emotional reasons for our overeating), you're not going to be able to keep it up. It's a slippery slope and it often leads to eating disorders such as anorexia and / or binge eating. am close to breaking free of it but I've been dieting since I was 8 years old. That's a lot of time wasted on feeling shitty about myself.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of juice, a few years ago I had a Russian facialist look at my skin. In about 30 seconds she said I was drinking way too much orange juice, & it was affecting my skin negatively.
ReplyDeleteI switched to more water, & my skin does look much better. Go figure.
@ ambernyc:
ReplyDeleteNO, goopie is NOT full of shit! didn't you hear? she just "detoxed" lol!
@selena & annmarie: i have some shrimp that smells slightly off. that should take care of the problem for you....
seriously, though, that mucus lining in your gut is there for a reason (where's gladyskravitz when you need her?). some people, i'm sure goopie among them, use enemas and laxatives, enemas probably being the healthier of the two, given a choice. oh, i'm sorry, i believe the hipsters call it a colon cleanse. the problem is that the weight loss is temporary.
try adding miralax to your daily regime if you really want to try a bit of a cleanse. safe for daily use, but it will make things a bit soft and occasionally, um, urgent. my calorie intake is very, very low right now, because i have to get the weight off due to very bad OA (which also makes any exercise other than swimming impossible-even swimming can be difficult on some days), so the miralax is great.
hey, you guys asked!
We have no physical need to "detox" if we eat right; our bodies do a good job all on its own.
ReplyDeleteOh my Lord, Harriet! 8 years old? Wow.
ReplyDeleteIt's all good!
I've visited Intuitive Eating for some feel-good tips before and should delve into it more.
Most people think I'm slender and fit because I was too skinny for years, never had any ED, just skinny with no periods, etc. I was able to eat all day without consequence until about age 40.
Now the stress of effed-up step-family stuff and a crazy job make me apparently eat emotionally. Plus I no longer smoke or take *certain substances* and nature is not kind to the metabolisms of 45-year-old women, apparently! The pounds are sticking to my gut and mid-section like glue.
So maybe learning to like the current "vessel" (to borrow a little Sci-speak) I inhabit and keep on with the medium exercise level and high-fiber diet I already ingest will just have to do!
If hubby wants a skinnier woman, he can just keep jacking it to girls on the internet celebrating their *ahem* 18th birthdays.
North Americans eat way to much packaged and pre-prepared food and don't drink enough water.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'd hate to call it a "detox", a good plan to follow once a year, for as long as you can stand it (one week, two weeks, three?)
- Avoid the middle aisles in the grocery store and cook the old-fashioned (more time consuming) way with increased vegetable and fruit consumption
- Cut out caffeine, white sugars, and dairy
- Drink lots of water
- Take 'acidophohilus' to build up good bacteria
You don't have to go hard-core with a juice-only diet...just cut out McDonalds for a bit.
She needs to cut the dieting and fasting bullshit. She's not aging well. She and Angelina are prime examples of what happens to women who stay out of the sun yet STILL begin to look a little haggard. It's because they each totally lack ANY extra poundage. Look at that woman. Did she have ANYWHERE for eight extra pounds to go?
ReplyDeleteI look to women like Salma, Meryl, Susan, and Catherine Deneuve for aging inspiration. Ain't none of those ladies a size two, neither.
Goopy is disgusting. She should be ashamed of herself for propogating this nonsense.
@ SelenaKyle - don't you dare keep worrying about your husband and a younger woman - you'll get worry lines for the luv of cdan.
ReplyDeleteFollow Nature Girl's plan and the weight will come off, more slowly than detox, of course, but it will.
ReplyDeleteI've gone on and off that plan, due to my weakness for dairy, but I stay far away from the "processed shit" aisles.
I've put on a lot of weight since having three kids in a row, but I don't have any wrinkles. (I'm 38.) Plastic surgeons say a few extra pounds is the best way to keep them away. No wonder most women over 35 in Hollyweird look like shit. If I weighed what I did when I was 25, I'd look like shit, too.
i think it was zsa zsa gabor who said after you get older, you can choose 'your fanny or your face.' if you're skinny, your face will look older. a little more junk in the trunk, your face will look younger.
ReplyDeleteSorry what's an OA (@ Bio bunny)? I'm stumped! Whatever it is, I hope you're feeling good again soon.
ReplyDeletePrincess Gwenny makes me want yak. I'm not entirely sure she means well, Enty. I think she's just one of these people who is totally insufferable, and now that she's not working regularly she has the time to spout off and teach the little people how to live the right way.
I don't care what her body looks like, or does, or how she handles it, and I sure wish she would stop talking about it. Too many people have body image issues or full-on ED and for her to spout about "unwanted pounds" she supposedly gained during 4 weeks' time, is so unbelievably vain. She either does it to get the "oh Gwen you look so fab!" praise or the "oh Gwen you've shown me the light!" props.
Gag me. When I have a daughter, I hope she looks up to female athletes and not these stick figures who are paid to recite lines and spend their off-time talking about how great they are.
RE: @selenakyle's suggestion to ban GP from CDAN... YES!
ReplyDeleteIf GP is banned and it becomes clear to potential GOOP-strategic partnerships that aligning with GP is a BAD IDEA... we could save the world from her plan to become the "next Oprah." The arrogance and narcissism of that ambition is reason alone to not let it happen. Oprah became Oprah by being Oprah... GP needs to fade away.
I think OA is osteo arthritis.
ReplyDeleteGwynnie was daddy's little perfect princess who could do no wrong. Not surprisingly, she's shallow, self-centered and spoiled. All she did on that amazing trip through Italy with Mario Batali was whine about her life and criticize her companions for eating. Uh, it was a CULINARY trip! There was nothing insightful or appreciative that came out of her mouth. Her husband actually has talent.
ReplyDelete(LOL cdanluva!)
Dear God, I effing hate that bitch.
ReplyDelete