Gosselins, Gosling & Guns

You know until the whole story broke six months ago with Jon Gosselin in the car with Deanna Hummel and the whole Ick! Nast! thing, this was a fairly sedate situation. It was just a television show with two parents and six kids. A harmless enough thing which got media attention only when they were actively seeking it at the start of a new season. The next thing you know, Jon is having sex with a teacher and the whole world becomes all Gosselin all the time.

This weekend I think they reached their peak. It is all going to be downhill from here. It has to. There is nothing to keep it going. There is no more oxygen. It was the perfect storm of gossip land. Upon learning that Jon Gosselin, Michael Lohan and Jill Zarin from Real Housewives were all together, one of my friends said their life was complete. There could be no better gossip story.

This weekend saw Michael Lohan get trashed by an anonymous source who seemed to know exactly to the penny how much Michael owed in child support and how many months behind on his payments he was. Hello Dina Lohan. Dina, or as she is calling herself now, a source seemed to feel that instead of focusing on Jon's career and trying to be his manager that he should instead focus on his own kids. Well, I think he would but since their careers are in the toilet he is trying to find new kids to exploit.

I sometimes wish they would all change their name to Gosling. It would be so much easier and that way we could all speculate how exactly they are related to Ryan. I think it would class things up a bit. I mean right now there isn't anything classy about any of this except over on Kate's side. I'm just waiting for the pictures of Jon snorting coke off some stripper's breast while Michael Lohan looks admiringly at a stripper who looks just like Ali.

Jon says he is single but at the same time also says that his heart belongs to Hailey Glassman and he does all of this while also being in a "relationship with Kate Major and it's private." Meanwhile Kate is supposedly selling her story for $3,000. That is ridiculous. The Enquirer will pay you $500 for practically anything so whoever came up with this $3000 number is way off. She didn't quit her job for $3000. She is not jumping off this gravy train.

So the loser in all of this besides Jon's kids who will have years of internet time in front of them to stare at what their dad did instead of hanging out with them is Hailey Glassman. Two weeks ago she was in the south of France chain smoking with Jon and rubbing shoulders with people on a yacht. Now it looks like it is back to holding guns to people's heads and selling coke to make ends meet. I somehow doubt we have seen the last of Hailey Glassman. Never cross a woman who likes guns. Has he never seen Blues Brothers?