Dear Richard

Dear Richard,

I may have been to quick to swear off your airline for good. On Tuesday I found myself flying from Charlotte to Los Angeles on US Airways. I had just started enjoying my complimentary snack pack filled with six bagel looking chips and two pretzels when a man in the back row of the plane suddenly got up. Nothing unusual about this except for the man was wearing no clothes.

Now, this was entertainment. You should take note that a live production on a plane is much more exciting than the drivel you call in flight programming. The man proceeded to walk up and down the aisle displaying his, well, you get the idea. While this was happening, a medical emergency was happening in a different part of the plane. This was exciting. At first I thought they were having one of those mystery games and all the passengers were involved. You do know how I love theatre in the round Richard.

So, with the medical emergency in one part of the plane and our free love passenger bounding back and forth, there was just one flight attendant to deal with our naked passenger/actor. She tried to cover him with a blanket but he would have none of it. Much the same way as I run from your food he ran away from the blanket and the flight attendant didn't seem keen on making a second go.

Then, like a flash two undercover air marshals were on him. I must say Richard that I almost let out a rather undignified yelp. This was good. How come you can't arrange for this kind of show on your planes? It isn't like you are focusing on any other aspect of customer service. After the men wrapped him with a blanket and secured him to a seat, the medical emergency was dealt with and a diversion was necessary.

The flight diverted to Albuquerque which is a lovely city Richard. You really should visit. I hear they have a wonderful hot air balloon festival and we know how much hot air you posses. A perfect match for you I dare say.

Alas, our time was short in the city and soon we were on our way to Los Angeles. I will be there for several days before flying back to London. I see that you have non-stops from Los Angeles to London. I'm not sure my stomach or my mind can handle it, but perhaps I will give you another chance.