Friday, June 12, 2009
Your Turn
With all of the cheesy dating shows in the news this week because of Bret Michaels and Ray-J, it got to me thinking of cheesy pick-up lines and those awkward moments you can only find at a bar when you everyone is drunk. What I am looking for today is the worst pick-up lines you have used or had used on you. We have done a worst date Your Turn before, but I think everyone always enjoys hearing those and there are lots of people who probably didn't share before. Any good bar pickup stories? Like you are married now or were?
Me, snifter in hand, takes sip. Guy next to me, "Nice swig."
ReplyDeleteI don't know about particular lines or comments, but there is nothing worse than some fool breathing his gross booze breath all over you. I just try to get away. Fast.
ReplyDeletei was noticing you noticing me noticing you.
ReplyDeleteI can tell already...this is going to be a GOOD "Your Turn"!
ReplyDeleteOne of my worst pick up tactics was elbowing a guy in the ribs ( hard too! ) and saying.." Oops..my bad! Let me buy you a shot to make that up to you". I couldn't resist.. he was gorgeous. We dated for a while after but as many of the handsome ones go..he was dumb as a rock.
ReplyDeleteI work as a bartender one weekend night a week at a really busy club. Its douuuuuche central! There are so many cheesy lines I have no idea where to start! Generally I just give them the stink eye when they begin and it tapers off with.. " Can I just get a Jager Bomb please?"
If any especially funny ones come to mind I will repost!
Last night some idiot said I was so hot it was making it hard for him to drink. I have no idea what that means.
ReplyDeleteI met my (ex)husband in a bar in London. I was watching the world cup, drinking beer, and waiting for a friend. People were staring at me. He was obviously American so I went up to him and said "You're American, aren't you" and asked to sit by him so people would quit staring at me.
We were engaged 3 days later. Married for 4 years. So I guess I didn't too bad of a job in picking him up.
When I was younger, thinner and blonder, I lived in Washington DC and when my friend and I would go to the clubs, somehow I was a magnet for Arab men. This is what they usually said to me after asking me to dance, "Are you American?" "Yes." "Do you have a car?" "Yes." "Let's go for a ride." END OF DANCE
ReplyDeleteP.S. This discussion reminds me of a scene from one of my fave movies, "Tootsie," when Jessica Lange tells Dustin Hoffman as Tootsie how she'd love it if a man came up to her and cut thru the B.S. and said he just wanted to make love to her then Dustin Hoffman repeats what she said to him as the male character and she dumps her drink on him :-D
ReplyDeleteHere's me being an ass, unintentionally:
ReplyDeleteWas playing wingman for a friend at a bar, a guy taps me on the shoulder and goes "I know you from work. I've helped you guys out a dozen times." Me: "Really? You don't look familiar [snub 1], what's your name again? ... Still drawing a blank here. [snub 2] Are you sure you worked with me? ... Wow... I totally do not have any idea who you are." and went to rescue my friend from someone disgusting [mega snub #3]. 2 weeks later dude comes to help me out, wearing glasses and his work uniform. I never got a chance to apologize.
My guy sang the line from a song "I feel the earth move under my feet!", I met my guy 22 years ago during an earthquake, we were standing next to each other early afternoon in a bar, I just graduated high school the week before, had a fake ID and was out with my girlfriends. Weird because we live in Indiana and earthquakes are rare for us in these parts. Now we always joke the earth shook when we met. It really did!
ReplyDeleteFrom greazy Italian guy: "You got a little Italian in you? Want some?"
ReplyDeleteMy reply: "No thanks, I want affection, not INFECTION!"
Here for the comments!
ReplyDeleteWhen my very pregnant sister first moved to NYC she was on the sub one day and this older guy sat down next to her on a nearly empty train, leaned his head on her shoulder and started rubbing her stomach. Said preggos turned him on.
ReplyDeleteI was at the bar with some friends, dancing away. Guy sidles up to me:
ReplyDeleteGuy: Hey there.
Me: Hiya.
Guy: So, where are you from?
Me *points*: That table, with my boyfriend.
Him: ...okay then.
Me: Good try though.
Him: Thanks.
My favourite was how my mum picked up my dad. She walked over with a bottle of wine and said, "Do you like wine?"
Dad: ...uh...
Mum *sets the bottle on the table and sits down*: Ya do now.
^_^
"are those amazing boobs in your sweater, or are you just happy to see me?"
ReplyDeleteworked on me.
lol.
a guy friend of mine went to a music fest not long ago and he and his buddies were competing to see who could score using the least words possible.
he won the bet with...
"Fuck?"
yes, some ho fell for it. lol.
(at least i held out for a compliment!)
"are those amazing boobs in your sweater, or are you just happy to see me?"
ReplyDeleteworked on me.
lol.
a guy friend of mine went to a music fest not long ago and he and his buddies were competing to see who could score using the least words possible.
he won the bet with...
"Fuck?"
yes, some ho fell for it. lol.
(at least i held out for a compliment!)
sorroy ,cant delete!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this counts, but in my wilder younger days, I was at a club and was standing in a long line for the bathroom. I guy was standing near me talking on a pay phone. We kept making eye contact and without even a word, he hung up the phone and we started making out right there in line for the bathroom. When it was my turn to go in, I said...well...it was nice meeting you...gotta go...and that was that!
ReplyDeleteA few years ago, at my grad school campus, a guy came up to me and said,
ReplyDelete"WOW! I just LOVE YOUR purse. Where did you get it? I want to get one for my sister? Can I have your number?"
Um, no.
My boyfriend picked me up in a rock music bar nearly one and a half years ago... we were both drunk and his opening line was "Your eyes are like spanners. Everytime I look into them my nuts tighten."
ReplyDeleteI still to this day have absolutely no idea how it worked on me. I guess the long hair, beard and leather jacket made up for it :)
Oh, and here's me giving a huge burn to someone while in line at Coffee Bean:
ReplyDeleteHim: You have beautiful eyes. Can I have your number?
Me: Sure. It's 310-123-5678
And he seriously put those numbers in his phone without a second thought about it. He even did a little "I scored" dance a few seconds later.
In all the thousands of women with whom I've copulated, I've never used more than ONE awsome single pick up line.
ReplyDelete"Excuse me Miss? Can you help me load this couch into my van?".
Then it is so hard for them to converse with the duct tape across their mouths. Ahhh...love.
Buffalo Bill is that you?
ReplyDeleteHimmmm,
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, that's real sexy! LOL
er, that wasn't a line...
ReplyDeleteit was a comment to Himmmm
sick and twisted. mazin'.
I was on a train in England, headed to Scotland (I'm American). There was a very drunken Scotsman sitting in the seat facing mine. There was a table in between us, on which he arrayed about 10 little bottles of whiskey from the bar car. When the train lurched, he grab up his little bottles like babies and say, "Oh, dear."
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I was very sick, hacking and coughing but he was undeterred. After leering at me for awhile, he said, "You need a good chest rub with some Vicks. My name is Rick--will that do?"
After a bit he invited me to come live with him in some remote crap town in Scotland, but I said no.
I was at a wedding and was wearing a dress that showed a bit of cleavage (I have big boobs, what can I say). A guy walked up to me and said "You look like you have breasts on the halfshell." He's the traffic guy on our morning news show, so I see him on TV all the time. About a week or so after this took place, he was apparently arrested for breaking into his ex's apartment. Creepy
ReplyDeleteOh, and the line worked, but only because I promised my mom that I would go out with the next guy who asked me out. Apparently, she thought I got asked out all the time and was too picky to say yes. Needless to say, that was the first and only time I went out with him. Most awkward lunch I've ever had.
Ali - was that Sal from KTVU in the Bay Area?
ReplyDeleteWorst pick up used on me:
ReplyDeleteI was in college, doing some grocery shopping, when I saw a guy from my dorm across the frozen foods section. Never having spoken to him, I just continued on my shopping excursion w/o giving him another thought.
[Side note: this guy was a total nerd who took full advantage of the designated hours for blasting music. His nickname was Jungle Hour Jim.]
Later, when I got back to my dorm, he was waiting in the common area for me. He came up to me and said, "I saw you at [grocery store], you were the most appetizing thing there."
Puke.
AnonMom - sure was
ReplyDeleteAli - HAH! I totally remember that.
ReplyDeleteAnonMom - believe me, I get jokes about it at work all the time. I saw him at a bar before a Giants game not too long ago and we made eye contact. I have no doubt that he doesn't remember me at all, but my husband really wanted to say something to him. I kind of wish he did, just to see what his reaction would be. :)
ReplyDeleteLine used on me - "You're all that and a bag of chips."
ReplyDeleteIt worked, but only because I was drunk and he was a friend of a friend.
But it only got him my number, which led to a date the following week, which was the worst date. Ever.
A friend of a friend came up to me one night and said "Are you drunk enough to go home with me?"
ReplyDeleteI said: "No, come back later."
And he did. We were married for 7 years.
"Is there are Super Model convention in town or something?"
ReplyDeleteWe have now been married 11 years and have 4 kids =)
Not a bar story, but still pathetic. I was sitting on a blanket with a guy I had known for awhile, watching 4th of July fireworks. I knew he was into me, but did not feel the same and told him as such on many previous occasions. As the fireworks started, he told me "You should move in closer; I can protect you if you're scared." It took everything I could muster to keep from laughing. Instead I gave him the evil eye and actually moved the opposite way on the blanket. Sad to say, but he never did get that message, or a zillion ones that came after it. I'd list his pathetic attempts and lines, but it would just take too darn long.
ReplyDeleteAt a party in college (very drunk, I might add), I walked up to a hot guy, turned around and asked, "Don't I have a nice ass?" I then proceeded to walk away and didn't talk to him for the rest of the night. My "line" evidently worked because he found out who I was, called me and after 5 years of dating, we were married last year.
ReplyDeleteWaiting outside a bar in San Francisco for my friends to come out and a random guys walks up,
ReplyDeleteHim: "Do you believe in instant connections?"
M: "No."
I still repeat that line.
"Your eyes are so...so...so....beady"
ReplyDeleteUGH!
Most of the time I feel bad for guys who are having to initiate contact, who have to come up with a pickup line. I try to be polite -- after all, they don't know whether I'm attached or not.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember the exact pickup line my husband used on me, but it was something along the lines of "you wanna?" I said yes, and we've been together for twelve years now. (disclaimer: we were friends for a year before he said that)
I've never been chatted up.
ReplyDeleteOne that was a joke, but ending up working was this one. To be honest I think she was really drunk.
ReplyDeleteI may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make your bed rock.
Enty - a great "Your Turn" would be to find out how you got rid of a person the next day after a one night stand or really bad date...
Here's one for ya......
ReplyDeleteI got set up on a blind date a long time ago. Like, early 1990's. I thought, kinda dorky, but let's see what happens. He takes me to Golden Corral. We get our food, sit down, and he says, with a straight face, "I'm a virgin, can you help me?" I said , "Sure." and handed him my cousin's phone number!!! I don't know if they ever hooked up or not.
Later, I saw the guy at Walmart. He told me, "I thought you would be easy because you are a single Mom."
Can I hear a loud "DOUCHBAG"???
I've mostly just talked to people in general conversation before suggesting we get together, but there have been a few exceptions.
ReplyDeleteMost memorable was probably about eleven years ago. I did a lot of clubbing then, and thought another regular was pretty tasty. I complimented him on his jacket one night (Enty would have approved, as it was velvet) and was surprised when he came to talk later in the evening. This guy was GORGEOUS, and pretty much everyone wanted him, so I figured he was just having fun watching me squirm. After a few minutes, I looked him in the eye and said:
"Look, you're gorgeous. You know it, I know it, everybody here knows it. Thing is, I'm no slouch myself, so I'm just going to excuse myself now so I can take a break from admiring you and have someone admire me for a bit."
I walked away and immediately felt like the biggest goober on the face of the planet, but I guess I didn't offend him too much because as it came time to leave, he pointed out a sign for an upcoming event and urged me to come since he'd be there. I pulled out my eyeliner and scribbled my number on the flyer before ripping it down and handing it to him as I said "if you want me to be there so much, call and remind me"
Again, goober = me. I just couldn't NOT be an idiot when he was around, but I guess he thought it was kind of hot or something, because he called me the next day and we became an item shortly after that night. :)
That wasn't intended to be a pick-up, but the following were, and worked!
"You ever kiss a stranger in the moonlight?"
"You, here, NOW"
"I really want to do some really terrible things to your body right now"
"It's been a while since I was properly kissed. How could you possibly live with yourself knowing I had to go one more night?"
I really am amazed I wasn't laughed at in the face more often!
You know, I'm trying to think of any bad bar pickup stories I might have but I honestly don't think I've ever been picked up in a bar. Places I have been picked up: the line-up for the ferry, public transit, a Batman party.
ReplyDeleteI do have a habit of randomly talking to people when I hit this certain level of drunk, though. One time at the bar, I saw a guy drinking with his friends. He looked like someone I'd gone to high school with but I'd never talked to him and couldn't remember his name. So, being a cheerful and friendly drunk, I sat down at his table, put my hand out and introduced myself, saying I was sure we'd gone to high school together. He looked at me like I was a total creep. He said two words to me: his name, and "yes", when I asked him if he went to the school.
His friends were nice enough but man, he was a douche.
Not trying to sound cocky, but I've heard them all. I was a shooter girl at a bar in college.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I always say that the very very best pick-up line ever was Ben Affleck's character's move in Good Will Hunting. He walks up unusually close to the two chicks (Skylar being one of them) chatting at the bar and they start laughing. Then he says, "oh hello," and nonchalantly starts a conversation. Shows a sense of humor and guts. What more could a woman want?
Recently, a guy walked up to me at a bar, said hello and grabbed my ass. I told him if he touched my ass one more time I'd punch him in the face. He did it again. So I punched him in the face. The bouncer saw this happen and dragged his ass out of the bar, while he looked back at me with a dazed look. Yay!
One more. Kibbitzing with gorgeous guy in a bar and he says, "It's my birthday, and I came here to pick up some brainless piece and I get stuck with you." I laugh and he asks "What brings you here tonight." Me: Nothing. Looks like I found it.
ReplyDeleteOh! I got really drunk at a tailgate in college and was going up to groups of cute guys with a beer in hand yelling "cheers to being STD-free!" It was ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteAt a bar, this guy comes up to me and says, "Hey, weren't you at my bar mitsvah?"
ReplyDeleteI LOVED that - it was just out of left field and made me laugh! So, it worked.
I was in a pub today, by myself, waiting for a male friend. The nearby tv was set to NASCAR. The guy at the bar turned to me and asked if I was watching it. I said no. Just then, my friend arrived so the guy turned away. My friend laughed about the line. I said no, the guy wants to watch the baseball game. My friend said I didn't look like the type of woman that watches NASCAR (it was after work, my outfit was good and I was wearing the most amazing pair of shoes you've ever seen). My friend said he recognized the body language as he himself has done it dozens of times. It's an easy in with no rejection.
ReplyDeleteI think he just wanted to watch the game.
A friend and I were ridiculously drunk one night and we saw this completely gorgeous guy. We didn't want to pick him up but we wanted him to know how good looking he was. He said thanks and that he has a girlfriend who just went to Tokyo for several months and that he was "trying not to cheat." We wished him luck.
First time/Long time!
ReplyDeleteI went to a bar with a friend of mine who was on the prowl and was promptly left to fend for myself. Looking for a seat at the bar I was surprised to find a barstool very gallantly pulled out and I was beckoned to sit down by who I thought must be the drunkest guy in the bar. Until I met his friend. They were both very young and very good looking. They were also incredibly funny, buying me drinks, cracking me up. They told me that they were celebrating graduating. Eventually one of the guys asked me where I was going later. I replied that I didn’t know. He put his arm around me and said, “I’m pretty sure I’m going back to your place” – which is the best line I’ve ever heard. Shortly thereafter, I asked the two friends how long they had been friends. They answered simultaneously, “5 years” and “Since the 8th grade”. They just graduated from high-school! I just put my drink down and walked away. I was in my early 30’s at the time.
My female friend wanted a good line to use on a woman in a gay bar so I gave her this one: "Most women would come up here and offer to buy you a drink. I'm rich. What kind of car would you like."
ReplyDeleteShe goes to the bar, tries it out on the woman who looks and her and says
" I'm straight".
"can we go somewhere and fuck?" Luckily i knew the guy and the ho that i was obliged :) to be fair we were in a club ecstasy'd off our face so...
ReplyDelete"i love your dress, but you know it would look far better on my bedroom floor" urgh.
"do i know you? I feel we've met before" No, i don't fucking know you, and to be frank i don't want to either.
I was in a bar a few years ago with my husband and this guy came upto me and starting chatting me up. I told him i was married, pointing to my husband. His response: "So? I don't mind if he joins"... ewww, no thanks! Now if a chick had said this i may have given a different answer :)
The cheesiest opening line I ever heard came from a male exotic dancer I had a dance class with.
ReplyDeleteHe was the only male in with 20 females.
Before class began for that day we were the only 2 people in dance room reading the warm up instructions on board. Well he comes and sits by where I am standing reading my legs slightly apart. Cheesy puts his hand VERY high on my thigh & told me:
"Now I know how it feels to be the only bee in a field full of beautiful flowers."
I give Cheesy a look to kill and tell him in an acid tone.
"And now I know how it feels to be petal deep in horse shit& that he wouldn't be feeling much with only one hand."
"I'm in a band".
ReplyDelete*sigh*.
We've been married 6.5 years. Record deal pending *LOL*.
I'm a freshman in college 5 hours away from my family. I go to the soccer game and fall madly in lust with one of the players. He's a Senior. A male cheerleader friend of mind from my hometown says "I've known girls who were after him for 4 years. Give it up." We went to a party after a game. After several gazzillion beers, I walked up to him and said, "I want to fuck you" and gave him my number. He called before I even got back to my dorm. Gorgeous, but a bouchdag. I hooked up with him several times that year.
ReplyDeleteI was at a bar with some coworkers from Portland. This huge bald guy stops me and says, "I'd like to connect your freckles with my tongue"...didn't work! ICK NAST!
Forgot the best part!!! The soccer player's name was Monty!! How cheesy! Short for Montgomery.
ReplyDelete"Are you tired? Because you have been running through my mind all night".
ReplyDelete"You look good in those jeans, but I would look even better".
Well.. I was 17 and at Houlihan's in Oak Brook Center.. this gross business guy .. who was 50 at least and probably an exec at McDonald's or something .. oozes over to my friend and me who are waiting at the bar for a table. [Her brother was the afternoon bartender .. so we had a pass on the whole age thing for the bar.]
ReplyDeleteAnyway, scuzball oozes over and says, "I bet I could afford to buy you both dinner." Having grown up in the Playboy empire, I knew damn well what that meant. [i.e., Hey! Two naive 17 year olds .. bet I could score big! Sadly .. I pretty much figured that was EXACTLY what he was looking for.]
I looked at him and for some reason just got really pissed off with this dirt bag. I mean both myself and my fiend were young - looked young .. okay I didn't but she sure as hell did .. and he was thinking he could pick us up. GROSS!!! So .. with this welling anger and disgust building to a crescendo I just dug into my likewise bag of gross and said in a very loud voice, "Sweetie .. you couldn't afford a blow job." With that I grabbed my friends hand and we walked over to Annie's Santa Fe Cafe instead.
And one pick up line that was neither good or bad .. I just wish I would have realized what he was saying when he said it. I was at First Avenue in Minneapolis back in about 1986. This gorgeous guy walked up to me and said, "I don't suppose that's real?" I was kinda in a daze or not thinking I would be hit on or I don't know what .. so without thinking just said, "Yes .. it is." He just looked at me for a few seconds and said, "Damn. That's too bad .. lucky guy." And he walked off.
About 15 minutes later I realized he was talking about this stupid CZ ring I was wearing on my left ring finger!! I usually wore it - and actually - it is an amazing replica I still wear today - on my right ring finger. But for some reason that escapes me now .. some 23 years later .. I wasn't wearing it on my right finger .. I had it on the crucial one instead.
I ran around First Avenue for a few minutes trying to find the guy .. but never find to explain. My friend Leigh insisted that she saw him leave right after he talked to me .. but I don't know. All I know is I stayed til closing and never saw him again. With my luck .. and with the losers I have had in my life as boyfriends/lovers/husbands .. he was probably The One. Or .. maybe he was a would-be rapist and murderer? So better to think I dodged a bullet rather than I was dumb and missed out on the love of my life. .. He sure was gorgeous. *sigh*
some guy started yelling at me for stepping on his foot. This was a HUGE dude, 6'4 and built, screaming at me in front of everyone! I was totally upset and he kept yelling how rude i was and how i should apologize and i have bad manners. Finally, i started to yell back and defend myself when he started laughing and said "oh i'm just kidding, let me buy you a drink!" needless to say, I did not accept and got the hell out of there.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame, because he was cute too and if he had just talked to me instead, i totally would have been into it!
...it was after work, my outfit was good and I was wearing the most amazing pair of shoes you've ever seen...
ReplyDeleteLadies, I hate to be the one to tell you this but unless you're trying to pick up Steve Madden, most men don't find shoes "amazing." We rarely look that far south anyway.
"Wanna lobster?" was LA Ram QB Jim Everett's way of asking me to dance to Rock Lobster in a club about 15-20 yrs ago. I turned that buffoon down.
ReplyDelete(I'm a redhead)
ReplyDelete"Do the curtains match the drapes?" I've gotten that one to the point where my gag reflex kicks in now when I hear it.
One drunken night I was at a coworker's house, when for some strange reason I thought I had come up with the best pick up line ever. I go up to my hot coworker and say the following:
Me: Hey, you're studying to be a firefighter, right?
Him: Yeah
Me: Well, I just want you to know that you can put out my firecrotch anytime.
Another night, at a bar, my friend and I came up with another really cheesy line and he dared me to use it on this cute guy standing near us:
Me: Do you like fish?
Him: *weird look* yeah...
Me: Want some red snapper?
He proceeded to talk to me for quite a while that night before another guy came up and cockblocked him.
Group of us in a bar one night. We're all dancing. My friend suddenly stops, stares wide-eyed then becomes hysterical with laughter. Some guy did this to her (it's an exercise, so play along):
ReplyDeletetake both index fingers and run them through your hair around your ears then along your jaw line. Finish with The Isaac (two thumbs up with index fingers pointing). Do this WHILE licking your upper lip.
Every time we went to that bar afterwards, it became part of our dancing.
In another bar, same group of people. Guy comes up to me and asks, "Do you have a large dance floor in your apartment?"
At a hen night. Good-looking guy comes up to me and says, "Hi. I'm Randy. I'm RAAAAANNDY!" His friends all laughed, I laughed. Talked to him for a while. Then the bride got sick so we had to leave. It could have worked! She apologized to me the whole walk to the car while I helped hold her up.
This is more of me story lol. A friend and I were at her house getting ready to go to her ex's bands show, our original ride had bailed so we scrambled to find another. I was upstairs finishing up my make up while she had gone down to greet our nice driver. Finished I had come downstairs, I didn't know what to say to him after I said and waved hello so we just stood there quiet. We were left alone in the front living room while my friend went back upstairs to look for her keys. This guy was just standing there and it was awkward as fuck, I tried breaking the ice but he seemed like such a douche so I didn't bother after that.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, we got to the bar and he being older provided us underagers some beer, 4 hours later and 2 40's later (yes 40's) we were hanging out in the parking lot, he had wriggled away from the group to pee, I noticed about 5 seconds later and for some reason I thought I would get his number.
...I walked up to him from behind and asked for his number. Apparently I had scared him because he jumped. I got his number anyway, and in 15 days it'll be our 2 month ann. lol
I'm going to be making $300,000 a year starting next year.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, he went straight to business.
Back when I was pretty (before all of the old and fat set in), I would get hit on pretty regularly at my job. Most were forgettable, but some were pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteOnce, a coworker (a guy fresh out of the Navy) hit on me by writing me a poem and giving it to me after work. The situation was so awkward (and the poem was so cheesy) that I laughed at him. I wasn't intending to hurt his feelings, but it had that effect. My friends started calling him "Torpedo Ego" after that. Poor guy.
A guy who worked as a sales rep for a cigarette company wooed me with free merchandise from his company. I wasn't a smoker.
Another guy (a soda delivery person) tried to get me to go out with him by bragging about his motorcycle, boat, and jet ski (I found out later he bought those things after pilfering money from the soda machines he serviced).
I met one guy (my ex from the Netherlands) after he joined my MSN group (a glorified place to keep my pictures online). He found it after we had both reported the same glitch in our groups on a messageboard in a group which offered tech support for MSN groups. I ended up in a relationship with him for a few years.
The guy I most regret turning down was a very sweet man I met at the Metra station in Naperville. We had a long wait for the train, and ended up finding a lot of similarities with his upbringing in rural India with mine in rural Illinois.
He came into my work a few days later and invited me on a date. He was so smart, sweet and funny, I didn't have the heart to tell him I was already involved. I went on two dates with him before telling him he couldn't call me any more.
I can't remember the specific thing that attracted me to my husband. We had known each other a few years because we were both part of a group of regulars in a file-sharing IRC chat room.
He was going through a rough period in his life, and I suggested he come visit to get his mind off of things. With the exception of three weeks on two separate occasions, he's been with me ever since.
@ Jerry, if you saw my footwear, you'd realize guys notice. The male friends I had gone to lunch with were afraid of getting arrested and having to go to John school. Yes, my shoes are that good.
ReplyDeleteBut I forgot about my favourite. A guy I went to high school with. He's the guy who taught me to not trust guys. Then he met my cousin. For years afterwards I'd see him and he was in lust with her. Thing is, although he met her dozens of times, he never remembered and would always introduce himself as if it was their first meeting. Funny he never won her heart.
Two from way back:
ReplyDeleteKingston, Jamacia airport sometime in the '70s waiting for a very delayed flight. I'm listening to good tunes (Rick James' Street Scenes album?) on some early walkman and for some reason have a splitter so that two sets of headphones can listen at the same time. Move over next to her and hold out the second set of headphones, no words. We listened to the whole album. Later on the plane I saw her looking at me from up by the lavatory but the guy on the aisle next to me was soundly asleep and I couldn't get out of my seat.
College dorm party, turn to her and ask "do you want to go back to my room and do some blow and have sex?" Answer: I don't do blow.
The worst pickup line used on me was when I was in high school and this guy came up to me at a basketball game and asked me if I smoked pot - then he asked for my number.
ReplyDeleteCompletely wasted at the local bar- it's closing time and the guy my friend introduced me to at the beginning of the night turns and says: "Wanna go play video games?" I said yes, even though the only game I knew how to play was Mario Cart. We dated for 7 years and have now been married for 4. He says that was the moment he fell in love with me.
ReplyDelete