Jessica Alba Is A Selfish Liar
I am sure that over the next few paragraphs there will be some very choice words I can think of to describe Jessica Alba, but most of them are not suitable for publication. I have never seen someone so blatantly throw people under a bus and then drive again over them in criss cross patterns to make sure they are willingly down.
Then after the they have been thrown under the bus, Jessica comes out and does the woe is me crap and plays some kind of helpless victim card.
Yesterday I posted the bit about Jessica being in Oklahoma City and how she vandalized the town all in order to save the Great White shark. Now that the police are interested and there is talk of a crime having been committed, Jessica plays the innocent card and says she had no idea what was going on. Her statement from her publicist was pretty strong, but unlucky for her and lucky for us there are pictures of her committing the crime and she doesn't look especially like she is being victimized. I think she had these grand notions there would be headlines all over the world praising her wildlife ways and commending her for taking a stand against the Great White shark haters in Oklahoma City.
Instead, she is more humiliated than the producers watching a movie in which they paid her money to act.
Jessica said,
"I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign."
Sure, spontaneous. There Jessica was sitting at an IHOP in Oklahoma City and in came a couple of people. They sat down and started flirting with Jessica and asked her if she would like to help them put up some environmental posters. That is spontaneous. Flying from LA and doing this late at night is not exactly spontaneous. I'm also guessing if she had got praised for the cause, her response would not have been that she regretted or was ill-advised.
To me it seems like she is saying this was all last minute. She was basically kidnapped and forced to do this against her will and she should be let go and the people who were with her are the evil ones and should be in trouble. Turns out my little imaginary conversation between Jessica and Honor is actually coming true. When your name is Jessica Alba you don't get into trouble for vandalizing. You blame it on others and then go home to your money pit of a husband who you deserve and who I hope bankrupts you soon.
That poor baby. It must be hard having your harebrained ploys for good publicity backfire in your face. Just ask Kimberley Stewart. She and Jessica should bond over shared experiences.
ReplyDeletethat "ill advised" quote was the one that got to me the most. Like it was someone else's fault that she did what she did. Just like Ashley Simpson saying her band played the wrong song on SNL. Absolute morons who can take no fault in their actions. Makes me ill.
ReplyDeleteYesterday when the United Way was informed by TMZ of what Jessica had done, they said they'd probably have to replace those ads which were expensive. I hope they do replace them and bill Jessica for everything they needed to replace, including the glue brushes!
ReplyDeleteBTW, just look at that sloppy glue job she did! It looks like dinosaur snot coming out from behind that poster!
"people I dislike almost as much as denise richards"
ReplyDeleteLMAO!
BTW, just look at that sloppy glue job she did! It looks like dinosaur snot coming out from behind that poster!
ReplyDeleteHAHA. Very true. She would do a half-assed job.
<< Jessica plays the innocent card and says she had no idea what was going on. >>
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the Fourth Commandment of Celebrity? - "When confronted with irrefutable facts that prove you did something wrong, for God's sake, play the dumb card!!!!!"
Feel free to add any other commandments to the list.
Amendment to Fourth Commandment: If there are irrefutable photos, deny, deny DENY!!!! (ex: "That doesn't even LOOK like me!"
ReplyDeleteNext stop: rehab for spontaneous and ill-advised decision making. I would blame it on crack or something.
ReplyDelete"People I Dislike Almost As Much As Denise Richards" ROFL!!! That is just too funny! LOVE it!!
ReplyDeleteJessica is nothing but a lying little shit head. A shark should take a bite at her mouth for lying.
"I'm also guessing if she had got praised for the cause, her response would not have been that she regretted or was ill-advised."
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY RIGHT ENTY!!
she's a waste of space.
LOL at "People I dislike almost as much as Denise Richards." That's hilarious.
ReplyDeleteBoy, talk about not having the courage of your convictions. Pathetic. If you do the crime (in this case literally), do the time (don't we wish?)
What a horrible role model for her daugther.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I wish roles were reversed...that Great White Sharks were plentiful and pathetic idiots like Alba, Richards, and Hilton to name a few were the ones "endangered"...or even better, completely extinct. As entertaining as they are - at least when I read Enty's site - they all make me sick.
ReplyDeleteMiss - exactly what I was thinking. I can't believe she didn't offer to pay for a new billboard for the United Way in her statement.
ReplyDeleteJust makes her look like an airhead which she already is.
ReplyDeleteWho threw who under the bus first? She didn't post the pictures, the people who've been doing this *for months* in four different cities were the ones who did that. And then deleted the entry as soon as anyone linked to it. Since she's the only one in the pictures, she's the one who gets fined, etc, while the people taking pictures who've pulling this same asinine stunt in four cities for months, face nothing.
ReplyDeleteSo, yeah, it was a dumb thing to do, but given that she'd already been thrown under the bus by this ineffective organization in their bid for press (where *they* were thinking they'd all be ballyhoo'd), I don't really see where you're making it sound like she's betrayed some noble great eco-warriors. She doesn't sound like she was saying she was kidnapped - she sounds like she's saying "i did dumb thing with some dumb people."
Also, seriously, how much do you really think the average person would face for putting up some posters? This is hardly "celebrity justice" - she will probably have to pay more than you or I would because of the press.
Spontaneous = inebriated.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad she was dumb enough to get caught so we can all have a nice laugh at her expense.
ReplyDeletewhat does the group behind this have to do with anything, fish? she's a fucking grown up. she doesn't look like her arm's being twisted. she looks quite pleased with herself.
ReplyDeleteif she's stupid enough to let herself be photographed---and for sure knew she was---then fuck HER.
she's the one they who got caught mugging for the cameras, she was definitely in this so she gets whatever punishment is meted out. that's the way it works. i have no problem with that.
@ rachelstargirlrox ... were you being sarcastic about the kimberley stewart and shared experiences thing?
ReplyDeleteI hope they fry her a$$.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to face the consequences for her actions and shouldn't cop out to "letting herself be involved with the people behinde this campaign". What is she 10 yrs old? She knew right from wrong. She is too old to pull a card
ReplyDeletechildren half her age pull.
Oklahoma City? Why there? Maybe this is a prank a bunch of Alba-haters came up with.
ReplyDeleteIt must be asshole day on CDAN. I read this from the top down and just read about that asshole Beyonce and now about asshole Jessica Alba. Assholes.
ReplyDeleteShe's a very stupid person. She's got a husband who is a lazy cheat and is nothing more than a mooch she supports. She did this with nary a clue that it might backfire, and since there was not a Great White, or presumably a sushi bar within 1500 or more miles - what could she have been thinking? That's where the painfully dumb comes in.
ReplyDeleteI do happen to know that since Cash is lazy and virtually unemployable, his family pretty much figured it was like he hit the lottery, twice - baby and marriage. I find that really sad. Everyone else sees him for what he is and she's blind to what he is. I don't know maybe that's punishment enough. Who knows maybe in her backward way she thought she was helping Sharks, she is remember veerrry stuuuuuupid.
Just watch Cash will be her Money Manager, and when her career ends in under 10 years she'll be broke and he's going to have investments in someone else's name. Pretty much don't need a crystal ball to see what he's up to and she's to stupid to see.
LEAVE JESSICA ALONE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's not her fault, they made her do it. They tricked her. Evil people who just wanted to see this smart and beautiful woman fall.
I hope she brought a parachute! ;)
shakey, you asked why OKC. She's filming in Guthrie (just north of OKC) and I think they had the day off. Casey Affleck was spotted downtown the same day - NOT putting up posters mind you! ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, I think I heard that she has offered to pay to have the United Way billboard replaced.
I have absolutely no idea how i got here but you and the rest of the people on here are fucking beyond retarded
ReplyDelete