When I first saw that Jennifer Love Hewitt was writing a relationship advice book I looked very closely that the article wasn't written by The Onion or that it wasn't some kind of April Fool's Day joke or something like that. Why would anyone pay her actual money to write a book about giving relationship advice to others? Someone thought she had good advice to share? Do they live in this world? Since when did Jennifer Love Hewitt become a relationship expert? Has there been any person with whom she has broke up that has said anything positive about her or their relationship with her? I don't remember seeing anything. Here is what Jennifer had to say about the book. "I thought it was time to share the real story of what I've learned navigating the dating waters."
What kind of advice is Jennifer likely to give? Well, I have a sneak preview of some of the chapter titles of her book.
Chapter 1 - Why I bring my mom on all my first dates.
Chapter 2 - Why I bring my mom on all my dates for the first month.
Chapter 3 - Dating someone while still involved in another relationship.
Chapter 4 - When moms collide - Why I broke up with Carson Daly
Chapter 5 - One condom or two - Dating rock stars
Chapter 6 - Two condoms or three - Dating John Mayer
Chapter 7 - Love rings by Love - Why Cartier should give me my own jewelry line.
Chapter 8 - My 32 favorite places in the world - Places I have been proposed to
Chapter 9 - Pretending you care
Chapter 10 - How to get him to call you fat so you can break up with him.
Chapter 11 - Mom's in the bedroom? Why I say yes!
Chapter 12 - Breaking up with your man while still keeping the engagement ring.
Chapter 13 - Getting your man to ride in the back seat like a little kid - Dating Jamie Kennedy
Chapter 14 - Mom's on honeymoons? Why I say yes!
'The Onion' ! I laughed out loud, Enty. Thank you.
ReplyDelete(I had the same jaw-dropping reaction. JLH's relationship advice? seriously?)
Veery funny Enty!
ReplyDeleteChapter 15: Why an Engagement is More Important than the Wedding: Keeping ALL the Goodies.
Thats like Monique writing a diet and exercise book, lol
ReplyDeleteI guess just going on sheer experience, she HAS been around the block a few times...
ReplyDeleteThe people who are giving her a book deal are the same people who casted her as Audrey Hepburn. Or, the same people who gave Lauren Conrad a book deal.
ReplyDeletePfffft.
This is hilarious. Thanks Enty!
ReplyDeleteteehee!
ReplyDeleteok, it's friday so i'm going to give you a break and not bag on you for bagging on harmless jlove...but i totally admit i'd be tempted to read "Chapter 6 - Two condoms or three - Dating John Mayer"!
Thanks for this:
ReplyDeleteChapter 6 - Two condoms or three - Dating John Mayer
Biggest laugh I've had all week. :)
As soon as I saw this headline on another gossip site yesterday I couldn't WAIT to hear what you would have to say about it Enty. And you didn't let me down.
ReplyDeleteNow, when are you coming out with your diet book?
I agree SFG - as soon as I heard, I couldn't wait for Enty's comments.
ReplyDeletelol at this whole write up! Enty just has a great way with words. For the record, I would NEVER consider taking this book seriously but I would be interested in reading it if Enty co-wrote it :-p.
ReplyDeleteSlightly OT and for no particular reason, but I remember seeing her once at Dolce restaurant in WeHo years ago. She was out at dinner with Antonio Sabato Jr and 2 other men, she didn't look like anything special in person.
"Idiot Watcher said...
ReplyDeleteI guess just going on sheer experience, she HAS been around the block a few times..."
Except about half of those guys were gay or rumored to be so. Someone once joked on another board "When is she going to be linked to Anderson Cooper?"
LOL, Enty! I love this, and your open letters. Good stuff!
ReplyDeletewhat's next? a parenting book by michael jackson? a book on how to have a successful marriage from liz taylor? a guide to how to stay sober in L.A. by lindsay lohan? a book on leading a meaningful life by paris hilton?
ReplyDeletethe possibilites never end.
lol, nancer! love those!
ReplyDeleteRichard Simmons just wrote a book on "Machoism and the art of picking up Women", I think with Thsimon and Thschuster.
ReplyDeleteMadonna writes children's books. The world is a crazy place.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!
ReplyDelete