Bret Michaels Is A Cry Baby

Bret Michaels is quite possibly the biggest wuss on the planet. While most guys would be trying to hide from the glorious 11 seconds of footage that is Bret Michaels getting smacked in the head, Bret has decided to whine, cry and have his publicist basically say Bret is going to sue. What an ass.

Everyone went crazy after the show saying Bret had broken his nose and lost teeth and blah blah blah. He suffered some contusions. I have suffered worse than that beating myself with a stick while watching his show and begging for the sweet release of death. I don't go around the next day and blame Bret for my pain, or sue him for his bad acting.

Bret is also pissed that the Tony Awards didn't apologize to him for his injuries. The only reason her got injured is because he wouldn't leave the stage. He kept waiting for applause that wasn't coming and walked right into the prop.

If you get a chance you have to read this statement (it's a .pdf file) from the publicist. She makes it sound like Bret is a superhero.

So you have Bret on the floor and possibly dying and above him is a half-ton of stage prop and according to the publicist, "continued to descend even though Michaels remained underneath it. Witnesses state the singer moved himself out of the way just moments before the prop touched down." That took superhuman effort no doubt. I'm not sure why you needed witnesses to say what Bret did. Couldn't Bret have just said, I had to get out of the way.

Why does it even matter? Why does a publicist have to spend two full pages talking about Bret running into a prop? If he sues, then he is the biggest ass on the planet and I hope that every person who ever attends any Poison show in the future who even gets a scratch or a bruise or bad chicken sues the hell out of him. Sue him. Every single one of you sue him. He got some cuts and scratches. What the hell kind of "rock star" sues over crap like that? Did he f**king cry backstage and ask for his teddy bear too?

If he sues for cuts and scratches than so should you. He isn't better than you. If his cuts and scratches are worth money than yours should be too.

Oh, and here is the best part of this whole damn statement from the publicist. "I feel had this incident happened to Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton or Elton John the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern."

You know what? They probably would have. But you know why? Because they are all talented and living legends and you are were in a really bad band in the 80's and on an even worse television show. I believe all three of the above performers have Academy Awards and Tony Awards and Grammy Awards while you once got an award from the stripper in season one for a free massage.