Jessica Biel Makes Me Laugh And Laugh And Laugh

Apparently Jessica Biel is the hotness. I know, I know. And do you know how I know? She told me. Well, she didn't actually tell me personally. No, she actually decided to tell the world. In an interview this month for Allure Magazine whatever reporter had the assignment asked Jessica if her good looks are hurting her career.

Now, I'm not sure what the appropriate response to that question is, but I do know it isn't the one that makes you look like a self centered every ten second mirror watcher.
"Yeah, it really is a problem. I have to be blunt." Well, I have to be blunt also Jessica. First of all you are not that great looking. There are sooo many people better looking than you. You are not ugly, but you are not drop dead, give away all my money and get four jobs to be with you gorgeous. Second of all, it has less to do with your looks and more to do with a little something called acting. Say it with me. It is what you are supposed to be doing when the director says action and that thing called a camera starts whirring. You don't do it very well. I'm sure you think you do it well, but the sad fact is, you don't.

Jessica disagrees with my assessment of course. Hell, she probably thinks she should have won countless awards by now instead of having movie after movie go straight to DVD or bombing in the theatre.

"I'm in there with everybody else, fighting for the good parts. Yes, The Illusionist has made a difference -- but a huge, massive difference, so I can pick and choose what I want? No. I just want an opportunity. If you don't like the audition, don't hire me! But if you don't want to even see me -- that's hurtful. And why? You know nothing about me!"

The Illusionist made a difference? Well after Powder Blue and whatever that disaster you filmed with Jake G gets thrown in the trash you can kiss that imaginary help goodbye. The thing is Jessica, everyone wants an audition. The only reason you get any is because of your perceived good looks and your celebrity status. You caught a lucky break getting hired for a long running television series and as a result got some exposure. There are thousands of better actresses out there than you and they want the same roles as you. They want to be seen also. Instead though, the casting director is forced to spend time with you because you have good agents and management and so if they say no, the other clients of that agent and manager who they really do want will always say no. So, they spend time with you and they say, "oh you are so good, but just too beautiful for this role?" Please. Get a life. Oh, which incidentally sounds like she won't ever be marrying Justin Timberlake. "I have no idea if I want to get married. I have a lot to do careerwise." It's good to have goals.