Earlier this year, I posted the story of the woman in India, who at age 70 gave birth to a child. Now, in the UK, Elizabeth Adeney is set to become the world's second oldest mother, doing so at the age of 66. Apparently, Elizabeth traveled to the Ukraine, where for about $10,000 you can get IVF treatments regardless of your age. I'm not saying 66 is old, but I am saying that perhaps you could instead find some foster children who could use some love and care or mentor children who are less fortunate.
What kind of life are you going to be able to give your child? Ms. Adeney is not poor by any stretch of the imagination and has already hired a nanny to help care for the baby. Giving birth at 66, even by elective Cesarean is still dangerous. What if the mom dies during childbirth? Who is going to take care of the baby? When the mom is 80, her baby will just be a teenager. I don't think you can ever have an age limit that prohibits people from doing this, because I don't know how you would ever determine a cut-off. I also understand that a couple in their 20's could also die at anytime and leave their child without a home, but it just seems more probable that someone who has a life expectancy of about 11 more years should maybe not be doing this.
I am all for people doing what they want in their lives, but in this case, you are not just affecting your own life, but that of your future child as well. What kind of mother-daughter bonding are they going to do? Visit mom in the nursing home day?
Pregnancy is rough on a young woman's body, I can't imagine the toil it will take on a 66 year old.
ReplyDeleteI understand where you are coming from but there are men who become fathers at older ages all the time and I don't think they suffer this type of scrutiny. My father is 61 and has a 6 year old.
ReplyDeleteI realize that men don't carry the baby (with the exception of that dude we all saw in the tabloids) and therefore those health issues are not a factor but it still seems kind of unfair.
But the men SHOULD suffer this type of scrutiny.
ReplyDeleteSorry, I'm not a fan of senior moms - in any way, shape or form. Just because science has developed a way for women to have children past their intended childbearing years, doesn't mean they should. How old is the father of this child? I hope he's under 45.
ReplyDeleteI judge men when they do this too. The difference is that the mothers are usually younger so one parent will probably still be alive when the older one dies. I still judge it.
ReplyDeleteThis woman is unmarried. Maybe she has some nieces or nephews who will be the guardians if she dies. Even in the best case scenario, this woman will be in her 80's when the child graduates college. All of my grandparents lived until their 80's and 90's, but none of them were in very good health. When most young people are just starting their lives, she will function as some sort of caretaker to her mother.
"But the men SHOULD suffer this type of scrutiny."
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. With my dad it was not a planned pregnancy (at least on his part haha) but I was still like "um have you ever heard of birth control"? Anyway, I think that the criticism should apply equally to both sexes.
There are so many other fun things to do in our "older" years besides having a baby.
ReplyDeleteI call this plain old selfishness. There's a REASON why women aren't able to bear children after a certain age. Yes, men can produce viable sperm in their dotage, but they don't carry the child for 9 months and go through the birthing process.
ReplyDeletePregnancy is no joke. Its a huge risk even for young women. Besides that, taking care of young children is unbelievably difficult. The lack of sleep is just the tip of the iceberg.
Totally agree with Alice D Millionaire. Where's the headlines for the latest 66 year old man who becomes a father? Wasn't Tony Randall in his 80s when his youngest kids were born? Yes, they generally have younger partners, but you still don't see people wondering in endless blog posts why they aren't just fostering kids instead of having kids at their age.
ReplyDeleteI remember back when Tony Randall was having those kids, and he was a running joke. I don't think anyone thought that was a good idea either.
ReplyDeleteWhile I can't see there being any sort of legislation to cover this sort of situation, it still seems shallow and short-sighted to intentionally create a baby at such an advanced age.
ReplyDeleteIf the child is lucky, he or she will have a few short years connecting with the mother, but not enough time to grow up enough to learn whatever wisdom she has to share. At worst, the child will be unable to connect with someone so separated, and will end up financially obese but starving for moral and social guidance.
I don't think every case will turn out horribly, but why test the odds like this, just because you don't want your money leaving your bloodline?
If she really wants someone to receive her fortunes after she is gone, she should set up directions in her will to send it to specific charities she admires.
dear god, don't tell octomom!
ReplyDeletethere is nothing, NOTHING more selfish than this. i'm not a fan of older mothers, and certainly not of OLD mothers. she'll be chasing a 3 year old around when she's almost 70?
ReplyDeletei'm blaming this on doctors in search of money---because if they were doing their job---'first do no harm'---they would simply say NO to these women wanting babies when they're far beyond the age when it's reasonable. this is child abuse from conception, in my book.
I agree with you. My mother was 44 when she had me, and my father was 45. I am now 30, married, and have a 10 month old. My mother is 74, uses a walker, and basically just leaves the house to go to the doctor and church. I love my mother immensely but it's hard to see her age. My friends are married and have kids and their parents are in their late 50s and come over and play with the grandkids. It's hard to think that my daughter will probably grow up without her grandmother. I don't think that this woman is thinking about the consequences of having a child at age 63 will bring on the child. It's hard to have an older mom.
ReplyDeleteand fuck all this 'what about men' crap. men are not and cannot be mothers. there's no bond in life like the mother/child bond. it may not be politically correct to say that, but it's a biological fact. the relationship between a father and child is just not the same thing at all---it's very important but it's not the same as being a mother.
ReplyDeleteAs a woman who has reached the mid 50s point I have to tell you I'd die if I found out I was going to have a baby at this stage of my life. I can barely remember where I left my keys most days never mind all the stuff that goes with motherhood. I love babies--don't get me wrong. I had two of my own in fact, but there comes a time when you gotta face the reality that you need to move on with living a life without an infant or toddler around 24/7.
ReplyDelete@K
ReplyDeleteHow can someone NOT see the reason why women are given more attention for it? Sure, its amazing when an old timer still manages to get a boner but pregnancy and birth take a huge toll on the woman's body. Hm, ejaculating, or giving birth after 10 and a half months of gestation...yeah I think I'm more impressed with ANY woman giving birth than ANY man producing sperm, period.
I think having a child at this age is selfish too. Its selfish when a man does it but at least if the mother is young the child still has one parent around. (And while I absolutely detest this fact, studies have shown that older men and younger women produce the healthiest and most viable offspring *barf*)
Does she have any children? Maybe she wanted a child to inherit her whatever.
ReplyDeleteWith that said, my mother turned 65 last fall and I can't even imagine her being able to have a child even though she still works a full time job by choice, 10 hours a day 6 days a week and some on Sunday, it is just mind boggling.
That woman doesn't really look 66. She looks like she's in her early 50's...
ReplyDeletePer UK standards, she's too old to be a foster mom. For any process that's regulated by law, she's too old. Pregnancy, however, isn't regulated - which may have played a part in why she chose to go this route. Hopefully she'll have family help in addition to the nanny.
ReplyDeleteOH GOOD GOD...IS THE WORLD CRAZY ?
ReplyDeleteI would want to know WHY she feels the need to have a child at this point in her life. Does she feel death on her heels and thinks she doesn't want to die alone?
ReplyDeleteDoes she feel she missed out on kids and wants to try it NOW? I think before docs go around doing IVF that these women need to be in a correct mental state and need psych evaluations. You can't tell me Octo was of sound mind when she decided to whelp.
Nancer, fathers CAN have a great bond with kids. I actually had a stronger bond with my Dad then my mother. Both were good relationships but I was closer with my Dad. I was a HUGE Daddy's girl. :)
i didn't say fathers don't have a bond with their kids. that's a total misrepresentation of my post. read it again.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletei totally agree with enty- tho i acknowlege that there is some degree of sexism in the worlds reaction to when older men verses women have a baby. the consequences are the same ultimatly- i,e. lack of a parent as you get older and how you can relate to them if they manage to survive past your 30th birthday. but it does also cause the baby to suffer- i mean it needs all its nutrients from a mother and if you are over 50 you just arent as capable of giving to your baby, not to mention any diesases related to later in life babies as in downs syndrome.
ReplyDeletehm. Maybe she was paid to get pregnant just to make a story out of it. She really doesn't look 66, but if she is, maybe she has the energy and maybe she'll live at least another 20 years to make sure the kid is stable enough on its own. There are so many ways to adopt through foster parenting, though. Sometimes two or three that are brothers and sisters so they can be together.
ReplyDelete