Battleship The Movie
Someone somewhere is going to get fired for this idea. I just hope whoever that man or woman is, oh, lets face it. An idea this stupid has got to come from a guy and approved by guys. So, I hope this guy is single, because if he is married and maybe has kids at home and says to his wife why he got fired, she is going to call him an idiot for the rest of his life. And rightfully so I may add.
Did you ever play the game Battleship as a child? Do you play it now on your cell phone? Great, I'm proud of you. Now, imagine you are in a movie theatre and have paid $15 for the IMAX version of the movie and when you look up at the screen you see two people sitting there for 90 minutes calling out, "E-9." "Miss." Yeah, sounds like good times doesn't it? The only time that was ever entertaining to watch was in some James Bond movie where if you missed you got some kind of electrical shock. That was kind of cool.
Apparently they are going to make a movie based on the game. So, yeah, it probably won't be two people playing a best two out of three in front of movie cameras, but I can still tell you this is the dumbest idea in a very long time. Why? Because some idiot decided that they were going to make a movie about a naval battle and told someone else it was going to be based on the game Battleship. So, instead of just having a really expensive movie about a naval battle, they are now going to have a REALLY expensive movie because they are going to have to pay money to Hasbro for permission to use the name. Idiots. Just make a damn movie about two ships fighting. Why does it have to be based on something? Did someone try and sell the idea and it was rejected so they said, "ooh, lets base it on the game." Next thing you know someone shouted genius and opened their wallet and paid twice as much money as necessary just because they probably ate paint chips as a kid and have no original ideas in their brain.
Yeah, I'm not sure what the brand's value is for a film either -- what is the studio paying Hasbro for?
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many times I played this game with my two kids. And bored to tears nearly every time. Can't imagine coming up with a 90 minute plot for that.
ReplyDeleteit could maybe work if they made it a narrarated type movie like say...Princess Bride, where Fred Savage is being read the book by his Grampa. it could be two people playing the game but you see the battle as real between the ships with each move. i'd rent it.
ReplyDeletenarararrratarated.lol.
ReplyDeletei can't type today, paid day off can ya tell?
My 18-year old son thinks it's a kick-ass idea!
ReplyDeleteUmm, oh..
Let's see... Jumanji and Clue have both been made into relatively successful films. I haven't heard of any others that have made it very far.
ReplyDeleteI also heard Candy Land, Monopoly, Magic:The Gathering, Stretch Armstrong and Ouija are also on the table as potential movies. Can you imagine any of those in big-screen form?
I can't. Of course, that's probably also why I don't make the big bucks.
The fact is a lot more people (read: idiots) will pay money to see a movie based on a game they played as a child than a random movie about a naval war. It's a stupid idea, but stupid people have money too. I doubt anyone will get fired for it.
ReplyDeleteWas Jumanji actually a game before it was a movie? That game always looked so fun. Minus the crazy adventures with Robin Williams. Actually, nevermind.
Rob Pattinson might be in it. That will sell tickets even if it's crap.
ReplyDeleteIt's a porno and sinking the battleship has a completely different meaning.
ReplyDeleteYou got that right, Enty! Stupid.
ReplyDeleteHmmm ... Ms Cool might be onto something.
ReplyDeletePirates of the Caribbean was based on some short Disney display and that did well. The Eddie Murphy one didn't. Something about a haunted house. The Cat in the Hat - short book, shitty movie.
My son believes everything is either based on a true story or based on something.
I'd like to sell you this movie about a pet rock... Anyone?
ReplyDeleteIt's nice work if you can get it I guess.
O Peter Berg!?! You can be so brilliant sometimes (Friday Night Lights, both film and series) and so...NOT, other times? (Hancock? THIS?)
ReplyDeleteEven more bizarre is mention of a Ridley Scott helmed "Monopoly" at the bottom of the linked article.
KellyLynn - Jumanji was based on a children's book.
ReplyDeleteClue wasn't half bad, but that's because the objective of the game is a watered-down storyline: Who, What and Where. Battleship the movie just sounds horrible. All it invovles is guessing a letter and number. Miss. Pass. Fail.