Snakes On A Plane

I think a few months ago I wrote about a guy who either got on a plane or tried to get on a plane with snakes and a bunch of other animals that he was trying to smuggle. Well, two days ago in Australia, a plane was loaded with 12 baby pythons in the cargo hold. Sometime during the flight, four of the pythons manged to escape from their packaging. When the plane landed, Qantas staff searched for hours all through the plane but couldn't find them anywhere. So, they fumigated the plane, and yesterday it went back into service.

OK, lets stop there. They looked for a few hours and gave up? Seriously, do they not watch horror movies? The snakes are only about 6 inches long, and so it isn't like they are going to actually eat someone on the plane, or bite them and kill them directly. However, if you saw a damn python dropping from your oxygen mask while you were in the middle of the flight, or reached into your seat back pocket to get the crappy airplane magazine out and you saw a python in there, you may very well have a heart attack and die.

Qantas says they fumigated the plane. Uh huh. Have you seen all of the places in an airplane and in the wires and everywhere else that a six inch python can hide? Come on. Those four snakes are still there and when they get a little larger and pets start disappearing from the cargo hold or the food on the airline actually starts getting eaten, you will know why.

Dear Richard,

I felt compelled to write to tell you, that while your food and amenities are still beneath the standard of a third world country, I must applaud you for your attempt at live theatre. I would never of thought of performing a stage version of Snakes On A Plane.