Ted C Blind Item
Double cocaine-addiction alert, babes!
But first off, gotta say it's a brutal Biz out here in Hollywood. Instead of keeping up with the Joneses, you have to keep up with the Richie's. Thin will unfortunately always be in because every actor's worst nightmare is Jessica Simpson's last couple of months.
Meet Slurina Thigh-Disaster and Bart Farts-a-Lot. No relation between these two, except that they share the same nasty diet trick: nose candy. Yep, Slur and Bar are two of the more recent stars to shed their extra fluff, and we're not talking Jenny Craig here folks.
More like coke. Mountains of coke. See, Slurina's legs (and other appendages) are a disaster not because of her chunks, rather they seriously aren't there anymore. It's like they've disappeared or something.
Ever since that pic Slurina did a while back called Crimson Scorpio, for which she lost a shocking amount of weight, many folks have wondered where the hell that new figure came from. The same place where a lotta of T-town, stick-thin starlets like to get their stall on.
Weird, too, 'cause Ms. Thigh-Disaster used to be a bit on the plumper side, but always so healthy. Result of hew new figure: More roles, yeah, but she's also getting a rep for making vulgar scenes due to her constantly jumpy nature, regardless of whatever celebratory occasion she may find herself in. But she just can't get enough of this white stuff.
So unlike Bart:
This guy is most decidedly not a fan of the nose devil. In fact, he really doesn't like it at all. But he was forced to lose his happy poundage and didn't know what else to do...or snort. People like to laugh at a chubby actor, but won't swoon over one. He's told friends that coke is the "only thing" that will make him stop eating. So he does as much as he can to curb his appetite. Gross.
Jeez, what ever happened to some good ol' fashion diet and exercise?
And it ain't: Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson
And it also ain't: Brendan Fraser, Jason Segal, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
seth rogen?
ReplyDeleteThe guy is Seth Rogen, no clue on the girl. Brittney Murphey???
ReplyDeleteChristina Ricci? Black Snake Moan?
ReplyDeleteI'll say Seth Rogen fo the second cokehead
Christina Ricchi for the woman.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking Tori Spelling for the first one.
ReplyDeleteDef Seth Rogen for the guy but not sure about Christina Ricci. She's been skinny-skinny for a while now.
ReplyDeleteMischa
ReplyDeleteseth
oops, i don't think Mischa is getting any roles.
ReplyDeleteNice guesses, guys. I think the Nicole Richie, keeping up with the Richies confirms Christina Ricci.
ReplyDeletePoor Seth Rogen. What's weird though is that his new slimmer self seems less animated. You'd think the coke would be making him jumpy.
I was thinking Christins Ricci cause she lost all that weight for Black Snake Moan. Before that she was on the plumper side.
ReplyDeleteAnd the other might be Seth Rogan- but he is losing weight for a role, the Green Lantern, and ir working out too. I hope it's not him.
He did mention Christina Ricci acting crazy at her engagement party, and where did her boobs go? She used to have a really nice rack.
ReplyDeleteSad and depressing if it is Seth. Can't think of anyone else.
I already guessed Ricci but it does kind of remind me of Jessica Stroup from 90210. She was in Prom Night and she was very healthy, on the chubby side some might say. Now she looks like she could fall through the cracks.
ReplyDeleteFemale--Ashlee Simpson?
ReplyDeleteMale--Seth Rogen
Kristen Stewart from 3rd rock from the sun is the female...
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS A DRUG I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND....BEING JUMPY, NERVOUS, IRRITABLE...SHORT TEMPERED...UNABLE TO CONSENTRATE....ALL NOT TO EAT..THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY...
ReplyDeleteBlack Snake Moan=Crimson Scorpio
ReplyDeleteChristina Ricci
I sure hope it isn't Seth, but whatev.
I immediately thought of Ricci and Rogan too.
ReplyDeleteseth rogen for the guy was my first thought. The girl not so sure - I did just see a quick article of how Mischa was asked to gain weight for a role because she was too thin a new CW pilot she has a part in
ReplyDeletesurprisingly - i just checked IMDB and mischa has 6 in production - post and pre , or completed. WOW! maybe it is her
ReplyDeleteThough I'm totally hearing you on Christina Ricci, she has spoken pretty openly about her past problems w/eating disorders and her weight has fluctuated from super skinny to plump pixie and back before so it could just be more troubles on that front. Then again, this one seems to fit w/the all of them response, too.
ReplyDeleteI think the biggest clue from the first one is in the name itself: Slurina Thigh-Disaster. Remember the photo of Mischa Barton's cottage cheese legs? ::shudder::
ReplyDeleteI think it's Seth, and I have to say, I get really PO'd at these directors who require their stars to be thin in order to play a part. Since when did America require that? Never. Seth's got charisma, and we like him chunky. Go back to the weed Seth, and make them accept you as you are.
ReplyDeleteDon't know who the girl is, some good guesses here, though (Christina Ricci, me thinks possibly.)
I think it's Seth, and I have to say, I get really PO'd at these directors who require their stars to be thin in order to play a part. Since when did America require that? Never. Seth's got charisma, and we like him chunky. Go back to the weed Seth, and make them accept you as you are.
ReplyDeleteDon't know who the girl is, some good guesses here, though (Christina Ricci, me thinks possibly.)
I thought maybe Kate Bosworth - But the Christina Ricci guess sounds good too
ReplyDeleteWhat about Jennifer Connolly?
ReplyDeleteI hate that it's probably Seth Rogen. UGH.
First time poster - long time lurker!! Hey all!
ReplyDeleteMy first thought for the girl was Mischa - b/c of the 'thigh' bit.
I have no guesses for the guy, but Seth Rogan seems like a good one.
I really hope it's not Christina Ricci. Also, I think she had already lost a lot of her weight WAY way before. Pumpkin came out in 2002, and she was thin then. As for the boobs, didn't she get a breat reduction?
ReplyDeleteMy guess is Mischa Barton or Tori Spelling... leaning more towards Mischa though.
Dead Kennedy, that was not funny.
ReplyDeleteSeth Rogen has lost weight because of "The Green Hornet" project. However, he's been attached to the project for years, he co-wrote the script and is an executive producer. Given how big he is in Hollywood, it's hard to believe he would be forced to slim down at a producer's request.
ReplyDeleteFemale: I immediately thought of Kristin Johnston from 3rd Rock from the Sun.
ReplyDeleteMale: I could get Seth. But what about Matt Damon. Remember those pics of him looking very hefty for that one role. Also, what about Kevin James? He's had some comedy roles that have actually made money. Perhaps, he might want to move on to the leading man type rolls.
PS If you watch The Office, how hot was Jim in that tux? And how hot was Michael when he quit?
I immediately thought of Mischa too. Way too many thigh references and also the "nots" are all tabloid celebutards much like Ms. Barton.
ReplyDeleteAs for the dude, I'm thinking Seth Rogen too, maybe he offsets the jitters from the coke with bong hits?
kevin james?
ReplyDeleteFrom personal experience, coke really IS the only substance on this planet I've encountered that will kill the appetite down to zero, zilch, nada---to the point I had to actually gag food down, could hardly chew and swallow it.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, the only thing that comes close is Red Bull. Seriously! But my husband even hates me on that, it's so scarily similar.
So hey, rock on peeps! Trade your cardiovaccular health for a skinny bod!
Personally, there are days I wish I could (a) afford it, (b) allow myself the indulgence, and (c) have anyone around me be able to stand me doing it!
All that said...no guesses yet.
...vaScular, that is.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of celebutants (the AIAs who are H'wood but not all actors), what about the tiny, pathetic legs on Nikki Hilton these days?
"Slurpa" is one of TC's names for her sister...
And if Seth is not funny or charming or quick anymore, it could very possibly be because of coke.
ReplyDeleteLockjaw and jonesing makes many people clam up like a zombie.
Mischa Barton is known for carrying her weight in her thighs.
ReplyDeleteMaybe John Goodman? I just read an article about him saying he had to lose weight for a role.
Seth Rogen is a good guess, but if he doesn't like coke, why doesn't he stop taking it? The role Seth slimmed down for is over.
Slurina rhymes with Christina. Does Ted C use clues like that?
ReplyDeleteRogen's a good guess, but my first thought was Vince Vaughn.
ReplyDeleteAdderall (amphetamine salts) also kills the appetite very well. I use it for ADHD and it kills my appetite completely. I have been on it for 2 months and am lucky if I can eat more than half a meal a day. Having never tried coke I don't know about similar side effects.
ReplyDeletemisha- just got the malrose roll a
ReplyDeleteseth for the farter guy
I think Jonah Hill--he got obscenely large.
ReplyDeleteSeth Rogen was chubby, but not as large as Jonah.
I think Jonah Hill--he got obscenely large.
ReplyDeleteSeth Rogen was chubby, but not as large as Jonah.
Oh, RaceGirl, I like your Jennifer Connolly guess. The blind makes it clear that the problem with the thighs is not being too big but rather TOO SMALL!
ReplyDeletePlus maybe that clue re the Crimson Scorpio is referring to her movie Blood Diamond.
Hmmm, for the female, I'm going to go with Hilary Duff. A while ago she got really really skinny, and there's that scene in "War, Inc." where she sticks a scorpion down her pants.
ReplyDeletetory spelling
ReplyDeleteJennifer Connelly
ReplyDeleteSeth Rogen
YUP
dunno.."crimson scorpio" is throwing me...
ReplyDeletei think the guy is russell crowe
I'm going with Mischa Barton or Kate bosworth, but the crimson scorpion doesnt' fit.
ReplyDeleteThat said, the common thread between the "and it ain'ts" is Rachel Zoe, and Mischa is def a client as is Kate I believe.
Just to be different: Elizabeth Berkley. Her movie was "Curse of the Jade Scorpion". Her recent pics have her stick-thin.
ReplyDeleteI am one of those people who believe that Ted C's nicknames have the same syllables as the answer. Elizabeth's name is off by one syllable, though. Unless he stretches out "Berk-kuh-lee"?
I think Jack Black is the guy.
ReplyDeleteThey tried to sell him as a romantic lead one time, in "The Holiday" with Kate Winslet as the girl.He hasn't done a "romantic lead' since. Rogen, I don't think he's done a romantic lead at all.
Yeah, I agree with Rachel and the.princess.leia - Kristen Stewart from 3rd Rock.
ReplyDeleteAs for Jennifer Connelly - she's always been thin - for years now. But now she's way too skinny.
For the actor, I too think Seth Rogen. Other guesses here... well, the guys are still quite heavy. Jack Black still has a big gut.
Re: Christina Ricci,
ReplyDeletetwunty mcslore asked: "...where did her boobs go?"
Leslie asked: "...didn't she get a breat reduction?"
Visible scarring from breast reduction here?: Warning! NSFW!
wow i never thought seth would give into stupid hollywood shit. i totally believe its him, makes me sad. he was hot to begin with anyway wtf
ReplyDeleteI kept thinking Renée Zellweger the whole time I read it, but I guess that's not news anymore. Don't think Hilary Duff is, either. I remember one Rockin' New Year's Eve a while ago when she was SCARY thin. I think she had black hair then. So if we're going recent and tori spelling doesn't fit the bill, I'll go with Christina Ricci. Shame.
ReplyDeleteI too thought Seth for bart. I thought of Jonah Hill as well, but he seems like he might like it.
Question - if coke is so slimming, why didn't Chris Farley lose weight?
The thing with coke is you have to do it consistently to reap the "benefits". Once you come down off of it, your appetite is back - in a big way.
ReplyDelete