Never heard of Elvis Crespo? Latin Grammy Award winner. He sings merengue. No, not the pie, the music. Merengue. He is a very big star in the Latin singing world. His biggest hit is Suavemente. No, not Rico Suave. This is totally different. Anyway, about two weeks ago, the 37 year old married his manager. I'm guessing things are not going well for Elvis at home with his new bride. Basically she is his boss at home and at work, and so he probably wasn't feeling very masculine. So, he did what any guy would do in his situation. He took an airplane ride and decided to go ahead and just whip out his frank and beans right there in the airplane. Not only did he whip them out, but apparently he was, umm, really working them. Yeah, just like you are imagining.
In his defense, it is a long flight from Houston to Miami. It must be, what two hours? That is a very long time to go without showing the world your baby maker or making yourself happy.
The woman sitting next to him said he barely waited 15 minutes before grabbing a blanket and then doing what he needed to do. She reported him to the flight attendant who reported him to the captain who reported him to the Miami police who reported him to the FBI who finally got around to interviewing the guy when the plane landed. He wasn't arrested. I'm guessing he is probably well endowed and they bought his explanation that it needed to breathe.
As for what the singer had to say in his defense, he replied, "I don't recall doing that." Uh huh. I think that most people would be able to answer that question with a yes or no. I'm just saying if you pull out your winky at 35,000 feet, chances are that is going to stick in your mind.
"beans and franks, frank and beans!" heheh
ReplyDeleteSuch a gross story. Seriously, if you can't wait, go to the freakin' bathroom.
"He sings merengue. No, not the pie, the music. Merengue. He is a very big star in the Latin singing world. His biggest hit is Suavemente. No, not Rico Suave. This is totally different."
ReplyDeleteROFL!!!
yep, he could have went to the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteoh enty, teehee.
ReplyDeletei think by merengue, "the music", you mean the genre.
he's not that big a star anymore. his hey day was the late 90s (his 'suavemente' era). hasn't made a full comeback, just a ripple or two. this incident is the mot press he's had in ages.
he married his mgr cuz his long suffering wife of a gazillion years finally got fed up competing w/ all the baby-mommas (yes there are several, all during the marriage).
flight from HOU to MIA is 3 hours.
latin mkt media are having a field day w/ this. it's hilarious! the story is that he didn't whip it out during the flight, but did do some indiscreet massaging (think ll cool j w/ his public nipple rubbing, but worse).
he prob gets off on being so public. why else would he gross out the lady sitting next to him?
ReplyDeleteThis may be Enty's funniest post ever.
ReplyDeleteEnty, I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair.
ReplyDeleteAnd that photo makes him look like a Latina Michael Jackson.
I am cracking up at the label:
ReplyDeleteFUN ACTIVITIES FOR AN AIRPLANE WHEN YOU FORGET YOUR IPOD
I might have goosebumps for about 5 more minutes on behalf of that poor woman he was sitting next to. Good gracious.
low class.
ReplyDeleteWow, he just doesn't look like the type....
ReplyDeleteSo I'm guessin' this doesn't gain you admittance to the five mile high club.
ReplyDeleteAnd for some reason, I can't get Barry Manilow's "Copacabana" out of my head.
I was wondering the same thing, Momster. What are the rules for the mile high club? I bet Ent would know.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing he is probably well endowed and they bought his explanation that it needed to breathe.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA
That poor woman. She should have thrown up on him--that may have made him stop.
ReplyDeleteLutefisk, I think that should be our response to all bad behavior from now on - throw up on them. I'll have to start carrying around some Taco Bell in case I need ammunition. :)
ReplyDeleteMooshki--throwing up is easy when you are constantly congested--wait until your snow melts & allergy season starts! You won't need to carry around soggy Taco Bell.
ReplyDeleteSo if a regular guy does the same thing and gives the same answer will he also get off that easily???
ReplyDelete"I'm just saying if you pull out your winky at 35,000 feet, chances are that is going to stick in your mind."
ReplyDeleteChrist Enty I am cracking up here... See this is why I shouldn't read this stuff at work. The 66 year old secretary just asked me what was so funny.... Bwhahahahahahaha if only I could tell her!
"will he also get off that easily???"
ReplyDeletewell the police report didn't go into that kinda detail....but.
lol.
He should have been flying in the cockpit.
ReplyDelete"cockpit"--good one~!~
ReplyDeleteEnty, I think I love you! Great post!
ReplyDeleteOoops haha sorry it slip haha.
ReplyDelete