Are All Her Other Dogs Dead? An Open Letter To Doug Reinhardt

Dear Doug,

I know that reading may not be your strong suit, and so if you need someone to help you with the big words, I'm sure you and Paris can sound them out together. I don't mean to be rude, but you not being able to read is the only reasonable assumption a person can make when they see what you got your girlfriend Paris Hilton for her birthday.

Paris told the world that you got her a baby teacup Pomeranian for her birthday. Umm, Doug. Paris has at last count about 42 dogs who after making an initial appearance are never seen from or heard from again. I'm sure when you have been over to her place, you may have noticed the odd smell emanating from her home. You probably thought it was some kind of herpes medication that smells really bad. My guess is that it is the remains of long forgotten dogs and the wasting flesh of old boyfriends from whom Paris has ripped out their souls.

I will say that you and Paris make a nice match and totally deserve each other. She is using you and you are using her so at least you have that in common. I'm glad Amanda Bynes discovered what a tool you were so quickly into your relationship. Her acting career may be in the tank, but at least she still has enough self respect to kick you to the curb. Oh, I'm sure you thought you would play that relationship out and get the publicity and attention you crave so desperately, but all you got was negativity.

Now of course you think you have stumbled upon a goldmine because of all the publicity Paris gets. Have you noticed that it isn't very good publicity? Have you noticed that people laugh at you and mock you? Have you noticed that people try and keep a safe, non disease catching 3 feet away from you at all times now? Have you seen the dog you got her since the day you gave it to her? Have you seen your soul lately? How about your doctor?



EL