It has been a few weeks since we checked in with the world of Verne Troyer. I will let you right now that I will not be flashing any photos of Verne making out or any part of his body, BUT, I still might cause you a little nausea. In a good way of course. In a recent interview Verne was asked about his dream film role. Guess what is? Come on. Guess.
Apparently Verne has quite the crush on one Gwyneth Paltrow and would love nothing more than to be her leading man in a movie. That's right. Verne's perfect role would be as the leading man opposite Gwyneth, including of course the obligatory sex scene. Let your imaginations now run wild.
Instead of just some grainy images from a do it yourself porn flick we would have professional cinematographers bringing out the highlights as Verne and Gwyneth got down and dirty in a love scene and the only thing that would make it better is if they filmed it in IMAX and 3D. It would be a waste otherwise.
i just threw up a little in my mouth.
ReplyDeleteMan, I can't stop laughing. The sight of Verne and Gwynneth together would be nauseating, but the thought of it is hilarious. I imagine Gwennie's reaction as some combination of horror and offense to be put with someone so low on the celebrity ladder (no puns intended).
ReplyDeleteI heard Octomom has been offered a million dollar contract to star in porn movies. Considering her obsession with little folk, I think Verne would be a perfect co-star for her. Just saying!!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep dreaming Verne!
ReplyDeleteI thought he liked his women much more voluptuous than sticky Gwynnie.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Enty - now I won't eat lunch. Or dinner.
ReplyDeleteFor the love of God, why do I read this blog when I'm eating lunch?
ReplyDelete/pushes hamburger aside for awhile. . .
Verne and Fishstick. . .Oh my eyes, my eyes!
{***shudder***}
ReplyDeleteHow do you get vomit out of a keyboard?
I put together a little mock-up for y'all. Remember, clicking is a choice.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious if any of you would do a little person. I mean, if they were hot, like Peter Dinklage?
ReplyDeleteDNfromMN - As disgusting as you are wonderful...
ReplyDeleteLike fishsticks would let a 'little person' touch her. So on top of GP + Verne sexy times, we can add rape into this mix. I smell a box office smash!
LOL LOL the vision of Fishstick and Verne is too funny.
ReplyDeleteDNfromMN - OH MY GOD!!!!! I have to poke out my eyes now!
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't decide if that was funny in a creepy sort of way or creepy in a funny sort...
I.LOVE.IT!!!!
ReplyDeletepersonally, i think they're quite made for each other.
@bad fish:
ReplyDeletei went to school with a little person (he was one of my best friends in first grade!) who later became an actor. he usually appears in costumed roles, but he's also done charity basketball, stuntwork, and a bunch of other things. he married a GORGEOUS little person he met through work (you'd probably recognize her face if you saw her).
anywho, before all that, he was funny, warm, not unattractive, and quite popular. i certainly would have done him, if i'd been doing guys at 16. i've kicked myself for many years now for not getting his address when we ran into each other at a restaurant when the kids were young. now he's too famous for me to get contact information.
does that answer your question?
The question I ask is this:
ReplyDeleteWhich is more horrifying - picturing Verne having sex, or picturing Fishstick having sex?
Thanks for the laugh, DN!
I've been drinking so maybe I'm morose or sentimental or whatever, but I kinda feel for the guy, you know? At the end of the day don't we all just want people to like us, to have have a few laughs and feel like we matter?
ReplyDeleteLife is tough enough, and that's before we add any physical or mental challenges to it.