I Feel Sorry For Jennifer Aniston

I actually never thought I would ever write the words in the headline unless of course you know someone died or something that she knew. Oh, and if she got a grey hair or there was a pot shortage and she didn't have any that she was growing. I don't know if she is growing any, but would it really shock you if she was? No, the reason I feel sorry for her is because Bret Michaels is in love with her. Apparently he isn't going to stop professing his love for her until he gets her attention.

Earlier this week he tried to get people to pay attention to his proclamation of love for her but no one really paid him any mind. But, to prove he was serious he has been talking about it every chance he has had since then. Seriously, it is like high school. Earlier in the week he had a friend call and e-mail some media outlets saying that Bret liked Jen and when that didn't work, Bret started calling them himself. Now, Bret, I don't know what to tell you man, but I think you are probably going to strike out on this one. Hell, I know you are.

Have you seen the women on your show? Yeah, and still you slept with all of them. It isn't like you have a very discerning palate when it comes to this and now you want to add Jennifer to the feast? I don't think so. No, your best chance was before you became a balding, yet long haired Gallagher looking caricature of your former self. That was your only chance to get Jen. You needed to get her when she and Courteney kept alternating Adam Duritz like he was choice beef.

I know what it is like to have those unrequited crushes Bret. I have had and have lots and lots of them. My best advice to you is on your next show, have the casting agents find you a bunch of Jennifer Aniston look-a-likes, but strippers and porn stars of course. And if that doesn't work go find C.C. Deville, put a wig on him and call him Jennifer.