Lots Of Screaming At That Party
I'm sure that Christina Aguilera and her husband have thrown lots of parties where the screaming and crying got out of hand. Of course most of those probably involved Christina and her friends and were more of an adult nature.
Over the weekend Christina and Jordan had a birthday party for their son Max who turned one last week. Wow, time really does fly by. Anyway, this is not a dig at Christina or Jordan as parents in any way, shape, or form. It is just an observation. With six ex-wives comes a lot of in-laws and with those in-laws comes children. I have probably been to about 20 birthday parties for one year olds. 95% of the time the parents make a huge elaborate production over the party and do whatever they can to make it memorable for their child. The problem is their kid doesn't even know what the heck is going on and sure won't remember it except from the thousands of photos and hundreds of hours of home movies used to document the event.
Christina and Jordan threw Max a party using the theme Where The Wild Things Are. Great theme. Great idea. If the kid was like 4. Apparently Christina invited a bunch of other parents all with their one and two year old kids including Joel and Nicole and their daughter Harlow. That is all well and good, and if you want to spend the money to make yourself feel like you are good parents, then do so.
The thing that killed me about the party though is that also attending the party were people dressed up as all the characters from the book who went around talking to the kids. Umm, imagine people dressed as scary monsters interacting with a bunch of one and two year old kids. Do you think there was a lot of laughter and high fiving?
No. I think there was a bunch of screaming and crying and kids scared out of their mind and a group of actors sent home really early.
Like the time my parents threw me a "you were adopted" theme birthday party when I was 5.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think it was theme party.
If that's Max, I wonder who he got the red hair from?
ReplyDeleteHer mum's a red head, from what I remember. Maybe that's where it's from?
ReplyDeletelol!
ReplyDeletemy kids 1st birthdays weren't really elaborate. The Eagles were doing well, and my parents house was already decked out in Eagles crap, so we did a football theme party (food was like tailgating food, and a chik fil a platter) that was Seans
and Meghans was umm Hello Kitty but at Chuck E Cheese, because I didn't feel like cleaning my house before/after.
Now, Meghans 2nd birthday was a big deal because she had a stroke, etc, and it was more a celebration of her, you know? We had a pony party, and i thought $275 was a lot to pay, but in the scheme of things? I found out that a moonbounce party is SOOO much more, I mean, double that.
Build a bear parties are so much cheaper, but who needs more stuffed animals? Certainly not us. lol
"Where The Wild Things Are" scared the living shit out of me when I was a kid. I loved it and read it over and over and over again, and every time, I was scared. It was on TV, too. Couldn't watch it.
ReplyDeleteSeems that your first kid's 1st birthday party should be for the parents more than the kid. Invite your single friends and other parental shut-ins, make margaritas and call it a "We managed to keep the kid alive and not get divorced for a whole year!" celebration. The pictures will be better, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the kids were thrilled--after all, most of the parents looked better in monster costumes than they normally do.
ReplyDeleteOne and two year-olds aren't really old enough for monsters to have any effect on them. They simply don't have, a) the concept of imaginary creatures, and b) the historical understanding of monsters as bad. In fact a 4 year-old who has seen some movies and read some books would be far more likely to get freaked out by monsters because he knows what they are, and is really getting into imaginative play.
ReplyDeleteOne year-olds are the age where clingy-ness and stranger anxiety are pretty big deals, so simply having a bunch of unknown people coming up to them, trying to touch/kiss/hold them is enough to cause some tears.
The best party for a one-year old is one attended by the few people he knows well, lasts no more than 2 hours, and is scheduled so as not to interfere with naptime.
Well for my now-2yr old's first b-day party we just had a bbq in the park, there were 2 other kiddies with parents and then my in-laws. It was fun, relaxed and my house wasn't destroyed. for my 7month old baby, unfortunately, like everything else in a 2nd baby's life his probably won't be so 'elaborate' lol...
ReplyDeleteTotally agree on keeping it simple. i was reading an article that was saying that parents in Melbourne-well-to-do streets were competing with each other in who could blow the most money on their kdis parties. Especially in the leaving goodie bag department. Gone are the days when a simple plastic bag with balloons and candy would suffice. Now these kids are being sent home with ipods (ipods!!!!) in little designer clutches. What. The. F*ck. Some people have waaaay too much money.. and dare i say it, some people just shouldn't have kids.
"and dare i say it, some people just shouldn't have kids."
ReplyDeleteAre you serious?!? People should have to go through a fucking screening process and classes before allowing to reproduce!
You need a license to get married, go fishing, do someone's nails..but it's legal for any morons to squirt a tard?!?
No wonder our society is so screwed up. Ever wonder why some animals kill and eat thier young?
Un-huh...
Why is this kids first birthday more amazing than all 21 of my birthdays combined?!
ReplyDeleteGirlfriend needs spackle on at all times.
ReplyDeleteMy son's birthday is in August (as is mine). Having it at that time of year sucks when you're young. But as a parent ... it works out. Party definitely isn't big.
ReplyDeleteOne party he went to - the mother gave out hand-decorated goodie bags with hand-made masks and God knows what else. bitch ;)
Ror, i couldnt agree more... you even need a license to ride a fucking jet-ski... In Australia the government gives you au$5000 every time you have a baby... that's right $5k for every sprog you spit out. I admit i took that money myself (who wouldn't?) but both times it went on the baby - ob/gyn bills, stuff for baby, setting up accounts for the kids. Some twits though saw this as a money making opportunity and so now you see the number of teenage pregnancies rising.. these girls freely admit to having kids solely for the handout that you get. And don't get me started on the parents who spend it on alcohol and drugs, so much so that the government are thinking of handing out coupons, to stores like k-mart & target, instead of hard, cold cash to parents who they feel are at risk of mis-using the money.
ReplyDeleteIt makes my blood boil just thinking about it. Just because you can have kids, doesn't mean that you should.
Ugh. What a gross use of money. I mean, I know Xtina obviously has a lot of it, and that parties like these are more for the parents than the kid (because the kid is ONE YEAR OLD and will NOT REMEMBER, SOWWY!), but it still seems like such a grandiose waste.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a cool theme. Why not wait until your kid is READING and can appreciate one of his favorite tales coming to life right in his backyard? It's like they've already squandered it.
Enty, you're right -- I'll bet tons of little ones shat their pants at the sight of those actors in monster costumes!
Christ .. I am 43 now and those damn monsters scare the crap outta me! I saw a live production of "Where the Wild Things Are" in London in 1984 when I was at the University of London on an exchange program for Theatre majors. My roommate at the time thought it was hysterical because I would not watch the play .. I told her if I watched too much .. I would have nightmares for the rest of the year! Sure or sh*t .. I must have watched too much because I had nightmares for about 9 months afterwards!
ReplyDeleteChristina .. are you channeling Joan Crawford???
My 4 siblings and I had very quiet family-only 1st birthday parties. Without exception, every picture shows a perplexed, and/or sleepy-eyed 1-year old in a high chair staring at the camera and not at the cake with a solitary candle. We didn't have a clue what was going on.
ReplyDeleteI think Christina just wanted to throw a fun party. It was more for the adults then the kids.
We did Pooh Bear, Blues Clues, and Bob the Builder for our kids when they turned 1. WTF moron thinks actors pretending to be monsters is a good plan for 1 year-olds?
ReplyDelete