Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I Hate Myself Right Now - Slightly NSFW

I hate myself right now because I am going to spend the next fifteen minutes of my life writing about Whitney Port. I know, I know, but I wanted to talk about she and MTV will apparently do anything to get people to watch her show. Did you happen to notice any naked photos or exposed breast photos of Whitney on the internet yesterday? Me either and as a guy who looks at a lot of websites, I think I would have noticed and at least taken a look. I'm not going to watch the show, but simply for educational purposes mind you.

The only reason I did go searching is that apparently since most people didn't notice, Whitney took it upon herself to write about it on her blog. It must suck when you think you are a star and no one notices that you showed a breast for the world to see. She described it as a bikini malfunction caused by "the rough and tumble of the ocean and just was enjoying the sun and sand and didn't notice it." Whatever. She said she is embarrassed and blah, blah, blah. What she should be embarrassed about is her stupid show. How is that she is already in Miami on vacation while all of her fellow "co-workers" at Diane von Furstenberg probably don't even get any vacation until they have worked there for a year? Yeah, that is reality.

You want to show reality? Show her going back and forth to work from a studio apartment 300 sq feet in size that she shares with two other people and a rat the size of Elvis. And I'm not talking about 50's Elvis either. Show her having to go to parties to get free food so she can afford to eat on the crap wages she makes. Instead she is flying all over the country with her friends. Whatever.

Anyway, I am not going to post the photo, although I did find it. I also don't think it was caused by the rough and tumble of the ocean. I think it was caused by the microphone pack that was attached to her bikini top and then her going into the water with it on. Take a look at the photos below. And, you will notice in the bottom photo, that she and whoever she is about to dry hump by the pool seem to be awaiting an "action" command from the director. Now all they need is a fluffer and they are good to go.

23 comments:

  1. It actually was on Perez Hilton. I'm tired of these faux reality shows.

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  2. Anonymous12:29 PM

    lol@educational purposes

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  3. Your description of her blog post reminds me a little bit of the scene from The House Bunny where Anna Faris's character starts randomly talking about her butt over dinner in an attempt to entice her date.
    Except, Anna Faris did it much better than this Whitney person ever could.

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  4. its entertainment, who cares.
    tv is subjective....as is Daniel fucking Craig.

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  5. Anonymous12:41 PM

    Poor Whitney. Sadly I do actually watch the hills (its my crack) and whitney seemed like the smart one. and now she's reduced herself to this. This is Heidi Montag behaviour.

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  6. MTV is going to have to do a HELLUVA lot more than pull these stunts to get viewers.

    Seen their ratings?!?

    Bye bye

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  7. well i can see why nobody noticed.

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  8. at least this one is attractive. look for a future "oh, i'm embarrassed the wind blew my skirt up over my shoulders! underwear? the funniest thing is i usually have panties on but..."

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  9. but...


    but the wind blew those away, too!

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  10. The douche laying underneath her isn't even watching her!

    harsh

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  11. ror, he probably doesn't know her...lol.

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  12. LMAO

    I'm quite sure your right Molly!!

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  13. LOL, Enty! If MTV is so desperate to keep the show afloat, they need to focus on publicity about Olivia Palermo. She and her cohort are so much more entertaining than Whitney and her pretend boyfriend.

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  14. I love how she picked the first apartment she saw, and the apartment was huge. PLEASE!!!!!!! WTF! That never happens in the city!

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  15. And what is up with her feet? EW!

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  16. wow, mtv jumped the shark ages ago and just never made it back...

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  17. Much ado about a boob.

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  18. I have no idea where her apartment really is but I live in Gramercy Park and it's not anywhere in the neighborhood. And if it was, an apartment of that size, with that view, would be at least $5000 a month. There's no way that she would have been approved for it on her salary. (You need to earn about six-figures for a $2500 a month apartment, unless there's a co-signer.) So much for her being approved overnight. The show is just a fantasy.

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  19. That poor girl has no ass!

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  20. once again, WHO?

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  21. Rat named Elvis.....hee you crack me up

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  22. Her body is HORRIBLE! Its a mess.

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  23. I started watching The City because I was transfixed by Whitney when she was a cast member of The Hills. She cracked me up -- came across as a sort of Valley Girl Yoda, dispensing little snippets of wisdom and relationship advice to her friend Lauren, on cue.

    The City is like a canker sore. You can't help but stick your tongue in it and feel the pain.

    Anyway, where was I. Oh. Whitney's fauxmance, Jay, is distracting and borderline creepy because he looks like Heidi Montag's twin separated at birth. Seriously, put a blonde wig on him and you've got Mrs. Spencer Pratt in drag.

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