How To Lose A Boyfriend In One Easy Step
I can't believe that I semi-referenced a Kate Hudson movie in the headline. Damn, now I am going to have to make up for that later. Maybe I will take a trip past her house after work and egg it or something. When is Easter anyway? Could I plausibly use that as an excuse if I get caught doing it? Yeah, that doesn't really work until February.
A few months ago I wrote a post about how John Cleese and his wife were splitting after 16 years of marriage and she basically was going to kick his butt in court and get half his money. Well, at the time I think John was dating some woman and was acting all goofy but that apparently was not enough. Nope. He dumped that woman and then found some American woman who said she was 27, but is actually 45. Yeah, and she looks good for 45, but she looks like crap for 27. But, John Cleese is almost 70, so what does he care. I guess he like the idea of dating a woman who was born when he was 43. Yeah, think about that for a few minutes.
Anyway, this woman, named Barbie Orr is an actress and has never really had any fame or attention despite years of trying to be an actress. So, when she got some as John Cleese's girlfriend she immediately did what any struggling actress in LA would do. She sold her story to the tabloids. Yay free market!! She talked about his naked body and how she basically seduced him and that she wasn't going to let him leave her without getting a little piece of her. I know, but those are her words, not mine. She also questioned whether she could force herself to sleep with a guy that old. But she did it. She got her 15 minutes, at least in the UK, and now John dumped her.
I love John Cleese but shoot. This shows some pretty poor judgement. And, you have to wonder: did he dump her because he found out that she wasn't 27 or did he dump her because she blabbed to the tabloids? Neither one reflects on him all that well.
ReplyDeleteStrange because usually guys go through their midlife crisis when they're...midlife. Is 70 the new 45?
omg, hilarious! the gf was just probably trying to pay a few months rent. but still...eewwwwwwww!
ReplyDeleteand eep. does he have children? if so they must be so embarrassed that their dad is making such a douche of himself by choice. poor kids.
He has two daughters (I think). He has said in the past that he hates American women even though two of his wives have been American.
ReplyDeleteDid she really think she could pull off that many years.....she's a riot.
ReplyDeleteOh, and NEVER date a woman named Barbie!
ReplyDeletethx Cheryl! i didn't know about the daughters or the wives. eep about his american women comment tho. contradicting words/actions only make him look stupid.
ReplyDeleteI should not have been eating lunch while I read this, ick!
ReplyDeletelol@momster
ReplyDeleteShe also questioned whether she could force herself to sleep with a guy that old. But she did it.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing this quote was the deal breaker.
What I really want to know is who the hell did she think she was fooling by claiming she was 27??!!!??? That's a hot mess.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen pictures of her hands? You can lie about your age, but the hands never lie.
ReplyDeleteOh Oh John's had two wives already, as one poster said on another thread he should have gone Asian. LOL
ReplyDeleteGod, I'm just catching my breath from laughing. This is the same hyper-psycho who was on Dog Whisperer - they showed that epi tonight on NatGeoWild! She never STOPS TALKING!!! And those horrible little dogs she has(had) - *shudder*
ReplyDeleteWell, there's no fool like an old fool, eh John?
What on earth are those things in her hand? Looks like a bottle of Kikkoman soy sauce and an inhaler.
ReplyDeleteWacky.
John is very bitter and pissy after each divorce.
ReplyDeleteThe hands don't lie, except if you take care of them like your face.
If you want them to match your face use rubber gloves - always - when cleaning and doing dishes. Don't ever let your hands come into contact with detergents. Every day I use a combo of lotion with tiny dabs of vasoline (absorbs in about 15 minutes). Every two weeks, I use prescription Vit.A cream on them too. Lastly, I use sunscreen on them. My hands look at least 15 years younger than my age.
i saw her quotes on another site... she actually described his body and his privates. bitch. i adore john and actual find him a bit sexy.
ReplyDeleteah, here it is, from "celebitchy" (it was linked). sorry it's long, but you've GOT to read it:
" Funnyman John Cleese’s new girlfriend says he’s got new hair, new teeth and downs a daily cocktail of vitamins just to keep up with her. Blonde Barbie Orr – just 27 to Cleese’s 69 – insists she’s fallen head over heels for the three-times wed Fawlty Towers and Monty Python star – but calls him “Fossil”.
Despite the huge age gap, she also says the pair share a passionate love life. Cleese, now based in America, met comedienne Barbie in October when she auditioned for a part in a movie. At the time he was divorcing his third wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger.
Barbie – a vegan who lives close to Cleese in a Californian mountain ranch – says: “I knew John from the Fawlty Towers DVDs. And when I saw there was a chance to act with him I jumped at it. I made him laugh and afterwards he came over to sit next to me. I said, ‘You were interested in me because of how funny I was?’”
“And he said, ‘No, actually I first noticed that you had a perfect arse, and then I noticed your great waist’. He asked me for my card – for professional reasons I thought at the time. But then he started calling me a lot and it turns out he had gone to my web page and seen me in a bikini. He told me he had fallen in love immediately.”
…Barbie she is keen to point out that although Cleese is a “great kisser” they didn’t sleep together until their third date – as she was worried about how much she really did fancy him. She says: “I kept picturing him naked. I wondered what someone that old looks like and would I actually sleep with them? For his birthday I was thinking about buying him a zimmer frame!”
But, to her surprise, when they slept together, she discovered Cleese was athletic in the bedroom with the “package of a 19-year-old”.
She says: “The first time I knew we were going to do it, I was acting like a total jerk. I turned up at his place in glasses and acting really nerdy. He was going to New York the next day for two months and I thought if he has a piece of this it will seal the deal – and I’m sorry, but it did.”
Barbie added of their first night together: “I can’t get into what he really looks like naked, but for an old guy, you know, they’re normally saggy down there, but he really has a nice package. He takes a lot of vitamin supplements and eats really well and he works out. His arms are really muscular and he still has amazing legs.”
“He’s had his teeth all redone and he recently got hair plugs (transplants from other parts of the body) to cover the bald patches at the front. He’s getting back on the market again so he’s got to get himself in shape. And he is very romantic. He bought me a little white porcelain mouse to match his nickname for me. And he also bought me earrings that look like eyeballs with eyelashes that move up and down!”
As to the future, she says they are taking their three-month relationship slowly as his heart is still “sore” after his divorce to Alyce, 64, his wife of 15 years, who he has to pay almost £1million a year in maintenance.
And she joked: “At his age, how much of a commitment can it really be? I won’t have to break up with him and break his heart. I just have to go to his funeral!” "
Good gawd.
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless.
She runs her mouth like THAT, and people can't understand why he dumped her??? Sheesh! Saying someone's fit and active is one thing, but going into detail about their body is a whole 'nother thing. Yes, he can be an idiot at times (but can't we all?), but I can't blame him at all for giving the ho the heave...
ReplyDelete