Hold Still I'm Trying To Squirt On You
Just when you think you have seen it all or heard it all or even read it all, along comes Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone who shared a story with The Observer that didn't make it into his book about his sister. Of course since the story is not about his sister that would probably make sense. He claims the story didn't make it in because the lawyers for the publisher thought it would be libelous. Well, then of course it makes sense to go ahead and share it with a newspaper then because that makes it not I guess in his twisted logic. I don't understand, but hey, it is a great story.
Christopher basically spends several minutes trashing Demi Moore and saying she uses gays like handbags. He says that Demi only wanted to be friends with Christopher until she found a straight guy. When she found Ashton, then it was bye bye Christopher. To show what great friends they used to be he offered up the story of how he and Demi were dancing at a club one night and that Demi took offense to some of Christopher's lesbian friends.
Instead of walking away she decided to show them something else. She took out her breasts. OK, strange enough right there, but wait, it gets better. Apparently Demi was lactating from a recent birth. I'm guessing it was from a recent birth. I guess it could have been that Brice enjoyed the taste and didn't find it soury or weird like Pete Wentz. Anyway, Demi took out her breasts, and according to Christopher, began squirting her breast milk all over Christopher's lesbian friends.
I admit that I am an ignorant guy, but it seems to me this would be a bit difficult unless the women being squirted just kind of stood there about a foot from her. I mean is it possible to jet it out like some kind of death ray? Is there a contest somewhere for distance? What exactly is the world record for squirting breast milk across a crowded dance floor? Do you get extra points for accuracy?
