Gwyneth Talks About Gamma Rays Or The Force Or Something Jedi
Whoever is monitoring Gwyneth Paltrow's website GOOP, which I discussed last month does not appear to be doing a good job of keeping out the naysayers. As, you know a celebrity with a vanity project does not like to be contradicted and so it is the job of those webmasters to keep out anything negative. I will say that Gwyneth has been reading the message boards on her site, but has nothing but scorn for the people who write negative things.
See, in Gwyneth's world, the only thing that is right is Gwyneth. I mean she really believes that. Can you imagine being married to her? Seriously, it's no wonder that Coldplay seems like they have been on a non-stop six year tour.
In a recent interview Gwyneth started babbling about how she was going to take over the world and mold it in her image and start a worldwide chain of gyms with her trainer so people could like her and feel like her. I say no thanks. Death is not that far off as it is so I don't need to look like it or feel like it until my time is here.
She says that anyone who criticizes GOOP just doesn't understand that she, Gwyneth has valuable advice to offer.
"People get a hit of energy when they are negative and it is very detrimental for them. They do not understand why they do not have a happy life. That kind of stuff is just noise to me. I feel sorry for them.
"I have this incredible, lucky, unique life where I've gotten to travel all over the place and so I started to acquire all of this information. I thought this would be a fun, creative way to share it. I thought if I could affect one woman's life positively, it was worth it."
Yeah, so let me get this straight. By her calculations, I should have been hit with about 20 bolts of energy since I started writing this post because of all the negative things I said about her. This in turn is causing me to have an unhappy life. The kind of life where I eat what I want, drink what I want and go to the bathroom a normal amount of times.
Apparently she thinks because she has traveled all over the world, and most "everyday people" have not, that she is in some unique position to share everything she has discovered with the world. Did she seriously wake up one morning, climb out of her coffin and say, "People should want to be me. I am going to give my gift of knowledge to the world so they can be like me. Get your ass out of bed Chris. I know real people don't sleep 20 hours a day. I think you are avoiding me."
For the love of all things holy, somebody please shoot this annoying fug stick!
ReplyDeleteI guess the rest of us are "sub-Gwyneth" becuase we didn't have rich parents growing up and end up like her.
Thank GOD! I would rather sit here unemployed covered in cigarette ashes and cheetohs than be that bitch.
No, seriously I would.
i used to love this bitch..when and why did she become a pompous twat as they say in the UK?
ReplyDeletejust shut up and live your best life you self involved wanker!
Jez Ror are you hanging out with Britney Spears AGAIN ?
ReplyDeleteWhy in the world can't this woman go buy herself a hairbrush?
ReplyDeleteMost of her recent pics show this ratty mess.
Yeah, I want to be just like her.
Time to stick a sock in it Gwyneth!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI usually think she's kind of pretty. She looks more Tranny in that unfortunate photo.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, she does need to STFU.
I didn't really read into what she said the same way. I don't think she was trying to be superior because I truly don't think she believes what she is saying and I see someone trying to be someone they aren't. Many people spout crap about 'energy' and 'positivity' because they don't understand why they themselves are not happy, so they project this onto others. Paltrow has reinvented herself so many times, it seems that maybe she is using this latest project in the hopes of connecting with others and perhaps feeling some kind of relevance and fulfillment in her life. It's just a shame that she is not coming from the right place because someone with celebrity really does have the opportunity to inspire and make a difference. Someone who is off putting and a little sanctimonious is just someone with an ego... not inspiring.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I even went to the GOOP page was the last time you wrote about it, when she was spouting off about detoxing. I didn't like Gwyneth Paltrow before that, and reading the little tibit made me lose any and all respect for her that I had ever had.
ReplyDeleteShe wrote about the Master Cleanse, and sounded genuinely surpised at the fact that her doctor "actually!" found that the master cleanse may be harmful because it doesn't have enough nutrients to support your organs. Well, no shit, Gwyneth. It's water, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and lemon juice for 10 days. If you reall thought that any of those things had nutrients in them, you should be forever banned from writing about any health issues whatsoever.
Moron.
Every generation has an actor best compared to a breakfast cereal--and Gwyneth is our very own Frosted Flake.
ReplyDeleteNobody should really emulate a celebrity; they're pretty much uniformly deluded. Fishsticks is just downright stupid. She needs a Master Cleanse of her brain. I love how Enty calls a spade a spade and terms GOOP a vanity project. A lot like Coldplay.
ReplyDelete"Get your ass out of bed Chris. I know real people don't sleep 20 hours a day. I think you are avoiding me."
ReplyDeleteEnty your imaginary conversations slay me! LOL!
Pair her up with her mother, and I believe it's easy to understand why Brad ran screaming from her. They made him feel like he was their student and they were more than eager to teach him how 'they' thought he should think and behave.
ReplyDeleteYes, so many flyaway hairs in that pic.
ReplyDeleteTsk,tsk.
It's so "UnGwyneth".
The coffin comment kills me.
ReplyDeleteShe was a slob when she was with Brad. Very frumpy. Now she's Superwoman - the best mother, the best wife, the best dressed, the best cook - it never ends with her. I have learned that some people really build themselves up online, but the reality is they're the opposite. John makes good point, but I do believe she feels she's superior. Otherwise, why do a project like GOOP?
I'm conflicted (okay, not really but it's the only word close enough) because I read her site and now I agree with the superiority thing but.... I still see her projecting this need to be perceived as a superwoman because she's empty and doesn't believe it..... aaaand.... now I really see her as being an idiot with a superiority complex, evident in her being bff's with Madonna and saying to the press that "the British are more intelligent and civilized as American's".
ReplyDeleteRe the site: On what effin' planet did she ever have saddlebags and a post pregnancy sharpei belly? I think she is trying to connect with us commoners but she's doing better at eliciting a "go fuck yourself" response.
Her people probably got behind her and encouraged her to be Hollywood's answer to Martha Stewart (branding is the big thing these days) but it doesn't really work with her because in reality, she is not really emulateable (did I make this word up?) She has always seemed empty but with lots of opinions. She had the good looks and the career but no charisma.
Now I want to shoot my own fingers off for typing so much on a Paltrow thread...
HAAAA! Ror and the rest of y'all are cracking me up tonight--just what I needed.
ReplyDeleteAnd all I can say about Gwyneth is........bleccchhh.
OK--and this whole time I thought y'all and others were just making fun of the bitch by calling her website GOOP.
ReplyDeleteI just googled GOOP and can't believe that's really the name of the damn thing!
What the hell does GOOP stand for?
(no, I refuse to look at it again myself)
I think she and Chris are done, her career seems to be nowhere, and so she is trying to stay relevent. And yes, I think Madonna rubbed off on her.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that is a combined name of Gwyneth and poop(Goop). Of course I could be wrong. Gwyneth's poopy newsletter.
ReplyDeleteGwyneth Omnipotent Overlord Paltrow.
ReplyDeleteGwyneth's obnoxious opinionated puke
ReplyDeleteI felt a little sick as I clicked onto GOOP.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, "nourish the inner aspect"? Uh, WTF? Pretentious much?
I can't stomach much of this, so I just clicked on the section I assumed would contain the most assery (like Ent's "assholery") - "Be." Because we all need Gwyneth to tell us how to be. Hmmm. She's actually just letting other people answers questions for her. Lame.
Over in "Make"... Oooh, I like that she admits that the Master Cleanse diet makes you hallucinate. Very interesting. Reading on... OH! You know what? Fuck. I really don't want to think about Gwyneth's bowel movements.
Close the window! Quickly! Aah, my brain!
She's going through early menopause. Crazy talk is a dead giveaway.
ReplyDelete