This week four kindness items, and next week four big jackass items. The first of these is pretty obvious and I made it so because one of them could use some hugs right about now.
#1 - This sister singing duo from a foreign country were performing a show in Los Angeles one time and as usual it was completely sold out. Not a huge place, and as a result there were lots of people who were sent away without getting in. Well, there was a group of about ten girls who were not going to go anywhere and they decided they would at least sit outside the place in the hopes they could hear a few notes at least. Well somehow that news made it to the two wingers and they decided to take the entire group of girls and brought them backstage and let them watch the entire show from the the side of the stage. After the show they posed for photos, signed autographs and gave away practically anything that was giveable.
#2 - This former A list television actor on a very huge super sized hit network comedy and now someone who is trying to find some other identity other than that character either in television or film makes sure that he gives blood every two months like clockwork. He has been doing this now for almost ten years all with no fanfare or attention.
#3 - Wow this actress is the epitome of a B/C lister. Everyone knows her because she has had some great roles on some great television shows and some films. Everytime she gets her own series, it doesn't do so well, but she is incredibly well liked. Right now she is filming a remake/sequel to one of my favorite films of all time from the 70's. I'm cheesy that way. Anyway, when she is in LA, she volunteers at an after school program which helps kids with their homework and to give them adult guidance they may not get at home. When she is filming in a different city, she calls around and tries to do the same thing at other schools on a temporary basis.
#4 - Is this actor A list? Interesting question. He was an A list action film star and then kept giving it all away. Now he is probably still considered A list by definition, but probably more a B. Well in the past several years, this actor has without any publicity given away about $250,000 to various SPCA charities and other pet organizations. Turns out the guy everyone always thinks is a jerk is actually a pretty nice guy.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Random Photos Part One
I want to make it clear that I am not reviving the whole reader photo thing right now. For those of you who have sent in your photos, I have them and am keeping them in a safe place while making little macaroni Christmas ornaments out of them. I figured I would take a little break until November and December and start that up again. However, if you just happened to be wandering through a bookstore yesterday and saw Paul Giamatti and convinced him to pose with you then it is actually news. Thus, you get your photo in the random photos. Of course, you should also let us know if he was buying porn or poetry, but the photo alone will do if any of that is not possible.
Hey, it's the other Lawrence brothers. In this case it is Andrew and Matthew.
Just in case you were wondering how you could possibly contribute to the world of horrific fashion mistakes, Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen are releasing a coffee table book. So buy a copy or two and let them keep living the high life. Now, in what is surely going to lead to a sibling rivalry, half the books have Ashley on the cover and Mary Kate on the back, while the other half of the books are reversed. Who will sell more copies?
One of my favorite US soccer players, Coby Jones. He was so fast. Too bad our team was always crap when he played.
Yeah, big deal. Lets see them do that with me up there.
Billy Idol - London
Have to admit that Alicia Silverstone looks great here. Still a television jinx of epic proportions but she looks good.
Speaking of looking good. I had about given up hope of Debi Mazar ever taking another great candid, but again I was wrong. Really nice.
Daniel Craig. Come on. Do you think I would leave the guy out if he was in town at a premiere.
I even gave him to you twice.
A rare sighting. Both of the brothers Masterson in the same photograph.
Meh. Just know that some of you are curious by nature, so thought I would throw them up there so you can see what they look like today. It's not like Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry aren't promoting the hell out of themselves everyday, but just in case you wanted to see them, or throw darts at them, here they are.
Don't throw darts at Gary Cole though. Didn't even realize when I posted it, but you have a Brady above and a Brady below. That hasn't happened since the original television show when Greg and Marcia got it on.
Fabian, Frankie Avalon, Bobby Rydell - Morristown, NJ
Can you call an actress adorable, because Emma Stone looks just that.
Eva Longoria holding on to Kate Beckinsale for dear life so the photographer won't move on to someone else.
Is that a bad angle, or is Emile Hirsch getting himself a nice pair of man boobs. No worries Emile you get used to them, and can even find it strangely pleasurable.
Jill Hennessey - New York
I'm not sure why Jennifer Freeman (thanks lachick, I think you are right) even bothered getting dressed.
I swear it could be midnight in the middle of nowhere and if you ran into Jamie Foxx he would be wearing sunglasses.
One of the few couples in Hollywood I enjoy.
It's kind of odd to see Jon Bon Jovi surrounded by a bunch of guys larger than him. You always see him as larger than life on stage, but around football players, he looks so damn tiny. Not Tom Cruise tiny though.
Mariah Carey - Los Angeles
Luke Wilson remains in my top ten guys I would like to go drinking with.
Lindsay Lohan makes the lineup because she took off the damn leggings.
If you have always wanted to know what Leslie Bibb is like, this is a perfect example.
Jodie Sweetin is getting her own reality show, and for once, I think it is a good idea. I would actually be interested in following her around and showing us her life edited of course to put her into the best possible light in a series of staged maneuverings to make her life appear more interesting than it actually is.
Rent - New York
Quincy and Kidada. That is some love right there.
I love Maggie Q and don't understand why the rest of the world isn't with me on this one.
Michael Madsen back in Los Angeles. From what I understand he stayed off the booze at the after party last night.
No one even told me Mindy Kaling was going to be on Dave last night. Hopefully TiVo got it.
Whitney Heard should have that growth removed as soon as possible. They can be dangerous if left untreated.
I will let you come to your own conclusions about what Shanna Moakler was up to before this photo was taken.
In the oddest damn pairing of the day you have Sean Stewart and Lizzie Grubman.
I don't actually have any problems with Stephanie Pratt. The outfit, yes, but not her.
Both are gorgeous.
Hey, it's the other Lawrence brothers. In this case it is Andrew and Matthew.
Just in case you were wondering how you could possibly contribute to the world of horrific fashion mistakes, Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen are releasing a coffee table book. So buy a copy or two and let them keep living the high life. Now, in what is surely going to lead to a sibling rivalry, half the books have Ashley on the cover and Mary Kate on the back, while the other half of the books are reversed. Who will sell more copies?
One of my favorite US soccer players, Coby Jones. He was so fast. Too bad our team was always crap when he played.
Yeah, big deal. Lets see them do that with me up there.
Billy Idol - London
Have to admit that Alicia Silverstone looks great here. Still a television jinx of epic proportions but she looks good.
Speaking of looking good. I had about given up hope of Debi Mazar ever taking another great candid, but again I was wrong. Really nice.
Daniel Craig. Come on. Do you think I would leave the guy out if he was in town at a premiere.
I even gave him to you twice.
A rare sighting. Both of the brothers Masterson in the same photograph.
Meh. Just know that some of you are curious by nature, so thought I would throw them up there so you can see what they look like today. It's not like Christopher Knight and Adrianne Curry aren't promoting the hell out of themselves everyday, but just in case you wanted to see them, or throw darts at them, here they are.
Don't throw darts at Gary Cole though. Didn't even realize when I posted it, but you have a Brady above and a Brady below. That hasn't happened since the original television show when Greg and Marcia got it on.
Fabian, Frankie Avalon, Bobby Rydell - Morristown, NJ
Can you call an actress adorable, because Emma Stone looks just that.
Eva Longoria holding on to Kate Beckinsale for dear life so the photographer won't move on to someone else.
Is that a bad angle, or is Emile Hirsch getting himself a nice pair of man boobs. No worries Emile you get used to them, and can even find it strangely pleasurable.
Jill Hennessey - New York
I'm not sure why Jennifer Freeman (thanks lachick, I think you are right) even bothered getting dressed.
I swear it could be midnight in the middle of nowhere and if you ran into Jamie Foxx he would be wearing sunglasses.
One of the few couples in Hollywood I enjoy.
It's kind of odd to see Jon Bon Jovi surrounded by a bunch of guys larger than him. You always see him as larger than life on stage, but around football players, he looks so damn tiny. Not Tom Cruise tiny though.
Mariah Carey - Los Angeles
Luke Wilson remains in my top ten guys I would like to go drinking with.
Lindsay Lohan makes the lineup because she took off the damn leggings.
If you have always wanted to know what Leslie Bibb is like, this is a perfect example.
Jodie Sweetin is getting her own reality show, and for once, I think it is a good idea. I would actually be interested in following her around and showing us her life edited of course to put her into the best possible light in a series of staged maneuverings to make her life appear more interesting than it actually is.
Rent - New York
Quincy and Kidada. That is some love right there.
I love Maggie Q and don't understand why the rest of the world isn't with me on this one.
Michael Madsen back in Los Angeles. From what I understand he stayed off the booze at the after party last night.
No one even told me Mindy Kaling was going to be on Dave last night. Hopefully TiVo got it.
Whitney Heard should have that growth removed as soon as possible. They can be dangerous if left untreated.
I will let you come to your own conclusions about what Shanna Moakler was up to before this photo was taken.
In the oddest damn pairing of the day you have Sean Stewart and Lizzie Grubman.
I don't actually have any problems with Stephanie Pratt. The outfit, yes, but not her.
Both are gorgeous.
Your Turn
After all the scary, horrifying murders this week, I think we all need a laugh, or a flashback to times of innocence. At some point this week, for some reason I was having a conversation with someone and in the course of the conversation they said three or four words straight from a Sheena Easton song. So, I finished the lyric so to speak. I thought they had said it because they knew the song, but it turns out it was just a random grouping of words. In fact, they didn't even know who the hell Sheena Easton was. Never heard of her. Finally they admitted that maybe they remembered the For Your Eyes Only song.
Sheena Easton was like the Scottish Madonna. I really don't know how else to categorize her. I loved her though and it sucks that people don't remember her, especially considering that she was always in the tabloids. I think she was paired up with Don Johnson, Prince, and some others that escape me now.
Then, in another conversation with a completely different person yesterday they admitted they had just discovered a band they were hearing about for the very first time. A band called Pink Floyd. I know, I know, but it is completely f**king true. That's why I had the song reference today, because that conversation got me in the mood last night.
So, anyway, what I want from everyone today is the first record/CD you bought. If all of you say something critically acclaimed I will know you are lying. And, I want to know the first concert you went to as well. And yes, The Wiggles counts. And no, no one sees a Smiths concert first time out. I want things like Sugarhill Gang or Men At Work with Red Rider opening. Black Sabbath with some band you don't remember. Spill it all.
Sheena Easton was like the Scottish Madonna. I really don't know how else to categorize her. I loved her though and it sucks that people don't remember her, especially considering that she was always in the tabloids. I think she was paired up with Don Johnson, Prince, and some others that escape me now.
Then, in another conversation with a completely different person yesterday they admitted they had just discovered a band they were hearing about for the very first time. A band called Pink Floyd. I know, I know, but it is completely f**king true. That's why I had the song reference today, because that conversation got me in the mood last night.
So, anyway, what I want from everyone today is the first record/CD you bought. If all of you say something critically acclaimed I will know you are lying. And, I want to know the first concert you went to as well. And yes, The Wiggles counts. And no, no one sees a Smiths concert first time out. I want things like Sugarhill Gang or Men At Work with Red Rider opening. Black Sabbath with some band you don't remember. Spill it all.
Not Gossip - In Fact, Another Gruesome Murder
I think that everyone in Canada sent me this story yesterday. I think that of the three murders this week, this is by far the most gruesome and the one that scares the hell out of me more than any of the others. I mean when you get on a Greyhound bus with your friend and co-worker I don't think you are really expecting to be stabbed, and then be decapitated while all the people on the bus are watching a movie. If you want to read about it, click here.
Daily Mirror Blind Item
Which leggy supermodel chased an up-and-coming British actor to New York in a desperate attempt to date him?
Katie Doesn't Have That Kind Of Power
Unable yet to move things using only her mind, it is ridiculous to hear the reports that Tom Cruise's mother and his sister Cass were kicked out of Tom's house by Katie Holmes. Please. Reports had surfaced that said that the reason Tom's mom and sister had decided to leave Tom after living with him these past seven years is that Katie hated them and wanted them gone. I guess she thought when they got into the newly renovated house that if mom and sister weren't buried underneath it they would at least not be living there.
But, of course along with the rest of the furniture and e-meters they came along as well. Can you just imagine Tom Cruise's mother just sitting upstairs in a rocking chair, and just rocking back and forth, squeaking along, while Tom and the rest of his followers pay their respects with blood offerings. Too far?
So, you have Katie up somewhere riding her carousel of horses while Tom is downstairs doing some kind of Xenu chant while mom is upstairs doing her rocking. You have Jada and Leah in the basement cackling and Suri in the living room just staring glassy eyed at Scientology videos. She then turns to the camera, her eyes glowing red and says, "redrum."
When Publicists Collide
I know that none of you are particularly concerned with Paula Abdul's love life except to the extent it may or may not include some dude living behind her house who also delivers groceries. However, as you may recall, Paula and JT Torregani broke up back in March or whenever she stopped giving him drugs to keep him there on a daily basis.
Anyway, this week the Enquirer actually said that JT was stalking Paula and made the following claims:
Paula Abdul has told ex J.T. Torregani to stay away- and she’s even threatening to have him served with a restraining order because she claims he has violent outbursts and is stalking her!
The “American Idol” judge says 33-year-old restaurateur J.T. tried to kick down the door of her Los Angeles home- and she’s now so scared she has hired a bodyguard, according to pals.
“Paula says she’s terrified over what J.T. might do,” a source close to the performer told The Enquirer. “She claims they broke up after eight months and she put him out of her house. J.T. started harassing her.
“Paula complained that J.T. left dozens of voicemails and text messages on her phone, and when she didn’t reply, the messages became more and more menacing.”
Paula also claims J.T. has been showing up at shops and restaurants she frequents, looking for her, added the source.
Umm, not saying that Paula might not have a stalker or two, because lets face it, out of 5 billion people on the planet, at least 1 or 2 are going to find her hot enough to stalk. JT though? Why the hell not. He's friends with Eva Longoria so I wouldn't put anything past him. But, apparently JT or his people or the people at Beso were worried about being labeled a stalker so just two days after the stalking story, there was this story being passed around like a joint on Snoop Dogg's bus (illegal stop of his bus in Dallas today by the way).
Of course only the idiots at People ran with it.
"The pair was spotted going to the movies together in Sherman Oaks last week, prompting speculation they have rekindled their romance.
A source close to the American Idol judge tells People.com, "They're taking it slow, testing the waters. They've gone on a few friendly dates." The insider adds Torregiani "wants to date her again. JT thinks she's a sweetheart. They have good chemistry."
Well. All this proves is that stalking works. Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let those restraining orders stop me from showing Jamie-Lynn Sigler my tribute to her I made from day old pancakes and magazine cutouts. See, now she and I could be going to the movies in Sherman Oaks and working on our chemistry.
Anyway, this week the Enquirer actually said that JT was stalking Paula and made the following claims:
Paula Abdul has told ex J.T. Torregani to stay away- and she’s even threatening to have him served with a restraining order because she claims he has violent outbursts and is stalking her!
The “American Idol” judge says 33-year-old restaurateur J.T. tried to kick down the door of her Los Angeles home- and she’s now so scared she has hired a bodyguard, according to pals.
“Paula says she’s terrified over what J.T. might do,” a source close to the performer told The Enquirer. “She claims they broke up after eight months and she put him out of her house. J.T. started harassing her.
“Paula complained that J.T. left dozens of voicemails and text messages on her phone, and when she didn’t reply, the messages became more and more menacing.”
Paula also claims J.T. has been showing up at shops and restaurants she frequents, looking for her, added the source.
Umm, not saying that Paula might not have a stalker or two, because lets face it, out of 5 billion people on the planet, at least 1 or 2 are going to find her hot enough to stalk. JT though? Why the hell not. He's friends with Eva Longoria so I wouldn't put anything past him. But, apparently JT or his people or the people at Beso were worried about being labeled a stalker so just two days after the stalking story, there was this story being passed around like a joint on Snoop Dogg's bus (illegal stop of his bus in Dallas today by the way).
Of course only the idiots at People ran with it.
"The pair was spotted going to the movies together in Sherman Oaks last week, prompting speculation they have rekindled their romance.
A source close to the American Idol judge tells People.com, "They're taking it slow, testing the waters. They've gone on a few friendly dates." The insider adds Torregiani "wants to date her again. JT thinks she's a sweetheart. They have good chemistry."
Well. All this proves is that stalking works. Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let those restraining orders stop me from showing Jamie-Lynn Sigler my tribute to her I made from day old pancakes and magazine cutouts. See, now she and I could be going to the movies in Sherman Oaks and working on our chemistry.
Why Can't Dakota Do It Again?
I saw this story yesterday, but was hoping the Hollywood Foreign Press Association would sleep on it and realize what an awful idea it is. Because of the WGA strike last year and the fact the Golden Globes weren't televised, the HFPA decided they wanted to make Rumer Willis, Mr. Golden Globes again. Why? She had her shot. She got to take the photos and had the press and publicity and everyone knew it was her.
All I'm saying is that if we are going to start recycling past Miss Golden Globes than I am going to push for Dakota Johnson to come back. Oh, what about Freddie Prinze Jr. He isn't doing much these days and this would give him a chance to relive his glory days before Scooby Doo and SMG dragged him down to the bottom of an increasingly dark and desperate world. No, its ok, SMG likes her vodka so I'm sure he can stay comfortably numb. Oh wow. Got a Pink Floyd lyric in there. Great song by the way. Probably my favorite by them.
Jane Carrey hasn't got to do it yet and maybe they would even let her sing. I wonder how come they haven't asked her. I can't imagine her saying no, and then Jim would show up and Jenny McCarthy and I think she would be much more fun and entertaining than whoever Bruce Willis shows up with.
AJ Lamas did it before so I don't know why you couldn't have Shayne Lamas. You know, get that stripper vibe going and at the end of the night she could just ask herself to marry herself. I mean she does already have the ring.
I would even be willing to have a Willis if it were Tallulah. At least she is normal looking.
Lets Talk Heather
Heather Matarazzo got engaged to her long time girlfriend Carolyn Murphy. When the news was announced today, Heather was then splashed all over the tabloids. Why? Heather really hasn't done much lately that anyone would really know. Her last "big" role was in Princess Diaries. Now, as you know if you have been reading the blog for any amount of time is that I am a big fan of Heather and Carolyn although I must say that Carolyn seems a bit clingy like Heather is going to run away and leave her. I also give them a lot of crap for always pawing at each other on the red carpet. See, that's the thing. I give straight or gay couples the same amount of crap for doing the same things. I like Heather and so she has been in the photos probably four or five times. When is the last time prior to today you had ever seen her in a magazine or on a website? Hmmm?
If Heather had got engaged to a guy, do you think it would have made the tabloids? Do you think US Weekly would have cared? Maybe, just maybe, People would have written three lines and thrown it into their engaged section online.
So why the big deal? I'll tell you why. It's because Heather is gay. The only reason any of the tabloids posted anything is because she's gay. What were their reasons for doing so? Newsworthy because she's gay or newsworthy because they want to stir up some crap and then sell some magazines with interviews and wedding coverage?
If the magazines cared so much about Heather before how come they never mentioned her? Ever. Do this. Go to people.com and in their little search thing, type in Heather Matarazzo. See how many articles and photos pop up. None, except for the engagement story. None. In case you are curious, their search engine goes back about two years.
How about US Weekly? They are screaming about this and just patting each other on the back like Heather is their best friend. How many articles and photos in the past two years? Two. Both of them from today.
I'm thrilled for Heather. She knows I love her, and I'm happy she i getting some attention and publicity, but at the same time, part of me thinks that she should be treated like every other celebrity of equal stature and as such should have got no mentions and no blurbs. To me, it is kind of exploiting the fact she is gay. For equality to mean something you should be able to say, "So? Who gives a crap? I don't know her so why should we print anything." To me at least, that is equality.
Kneepads Opened Wide For This One
You and I both know that we can always count on the fine folks at Kneepads to just smile and do exactly what the publicists want. I especially love it when they do so even though they are blissfully ignoring pictures and evidence which makes their whole article laughable.
What is particularly galling about this article is that it is about Mischa Barton. Hey, People, you don't have to be nice to each star. Sometimes stars don't make a comeback and so you can cut them loose and go ahead and report the truth instead of lies. I understand that perhaps their publicist represents other people you want to blow, but sometimes you have to put your slipper down and just say no.
People quotes liberally from a Marie Claire article. Now, the reason I am not ragging on Marie Claire is because they put Mischa on their cover this month. Why? The editors were on drugs is my guess. But anyway, once you decide to put her on your cover you have to make her look good. Don't agree with it, but understand it.
Kneepads on the other hand could have used the opportunity to do exactly what I am about to do to refute everything Mischa said. Instead, they just bent over a little more.
In April, the former O.C. actress pleaded no contest to driving under the influence. She describes her December arrest as an "awful low."
"The thing is, I hate drunk drivers. Living in L.A., I can't stand them, and that's why I was so disappointed in myself," she says. "I wanted to prove to the court that I would take it completely seriously, so I went to rehab to prove I was sober.
What is particularly galling about this article is that it is about Mischa Barton. Hey, People, you don't have to be nice to each star. Sometimes stars don't make a comeback and so you can cut them loose and go ahead and report the truth instead of lies. I understand that perhaps their publicist represents other people you want to blow, but sometimes you have to put your slipper down and just say no.
People quotes liberally from a Marie Claire article. Now, the reason I am not ragging on Marie Claire is because they put Mischa on their cover this month. Why? The editors were on drugs is my guess. But anyway, once you decide to put her on your cover you have to make her look good. Don't agree with it, but understand it.
Kneepads on the other hand could have used the opportunity to do exactly what I am about to do to refute everything Mischa said. Instead, they just bent over a little more.
In April, the former O.C. actress pleaded no contest to driving under the influence. She describes her December arrest as an "awful low."
"The thing is, I hate drunk drivers. Living in L.A., I can't stand them, and that's why I was so disappointed in myself," she says. "I wanted to prove to the court that I would take it completely seriously, so I went to rehab to prove I was sober.
May 22, 2008. - I guess it is possible that isn't a slightly plastered look on her face and that Taylor drank the half bottle of Tequila by himself. While also at Cannes, Mischa was spotted drinking champagne instead of being at the premiere of her new film which was supposed to be her only reason for being in Cannes.
"It really helped in getting the more serious aspects of my case dropped because, you know, that's what they want to hear: you're not an alcoholic, and you don't have a problem."
July 17, 2008 - Berlin - I'm guessing by the way she guzzled that one, that more was certainly on the way.
So, from what I'm reading here she basically lied to the court. She told the court she was sober and not an alcoholic when in fact she wasn't sober. Either that or she isn't sober and so is off the wagon. Her choice.
Ted C Blind Item
Toothy Tile, doll-hon, you’ve met your homo match. ‘Cause there’s a new rising, closeted star in town (actually, he’s been rising for, like, ages now, but, whatev) who’s putting your clandestine, closeted—not to mention kinky!—ways to shame. Maybe you know him? Name’s Crotch Uh-Lastic. Ring a bell, babe? Thought so.
Now, keep in mind, Toothy and Crotch have never made a flick together, though they do both go in for the same roles rather often. Similar brooding thing going on. You know, that tough yet tangible, touchable, almost boyish loveliness, a little crusty on the sides, too. Know the type? Oh who cares about actor oeuvre, let’s get to the dirty part and oozing sex outta control, my little horn-hons!
So Crotch, like a lot of his hetero counterparts in this Biz, is all wrapped up in fantasy. Whereas Toothy likes it dangerous and out in the open—Hollywood parking lots, anybody?—Crotch prefers his assignations played out as if they were the plots of one of his artier flicks (he's had plenty). This is how the boy likes it: He chooses a stud, latest one being a straight—wink, wink, right—trainer who’s busy trying to get a modeling/acting/smoldering-look career going and asks him to come over to the Hollywood pad. Mr. U.-L. has an East Coast home, too, but the pool in his Hollywood hang is so much fun for game playing. The man-meat Crotch has selected is told, beforehand, to await his limo ride to the Hell-Ay house and, once he arrives, to head straight to the pool area, adorned with chaise lounges. On these tastefully tufted settees, like little lost Saks Fifth Avenue summer catalog lovelies, lay various box-cut (never Speedo, how Matthew McConaughey!) swim trunks.
Silently, oh so discreetly, the stud-for-hire is then told to take off all his clothes and put on any of the suits he likes, at which point Crotch struts out and the inevitable seduction, complete with end-of-the-show water works, begin. And Crotch can only get the ol’ equipment up and hosing, I’m told, if said scenario is pursued.
How damn exhausting. Whatever happened to a little sweat, not too much intrigue and even fewer props? Is that so old-fashioned? For Crotch, the answer would be yes.
Now, keep in mind, Toothy and Crotch have never made a flick together, though they do both go in for the same roles rather often. Similar brooding thing going on. You know, that tough yet tangible, touchable, almost boyish loveliness, a little crusty on the sides, too. Know the type? Oh who cares about actor oeuvre, let’s get to the dirty part and oozing sex outta control, my little horn-hons!
So Crotch, like a lot of his hetero counterparts in this Biz, is all wrapped up in fantasy. Whereas Toothy likes it dangerous and out in the open—Hollywood parking lots, anybody?—Crotch prefers his assignations played out as if they were the plots of one of his artier flicks (he's had plenty). This is how the boy likes it: He chooses a stud, latest one being a straight—wink, wink, right—trainer who’s busy trying to get a modeling/acting/smoldering-look career going and asks him to come over to the Hollywood pad. Mr. U.-L. has an East Coast home, too, but the pool in his Hollywood hang is so much fun for game playing. The man-meat Crotch has selected is told, beforehand, to await his limo ride to the Hell-Ay house and, once he arrives, to head straight to the pool area, adorned with chaise lounges. On these tastefully tufted settees, like little lost Saks Fifth Avenue summer catalog lovelies, lay various box-cut (never Speedo, how Matthew McConaughey!) swim trunks.
Silently, oh so discreetly, the stud-for-hire is then told to take off all his clothes and put on any of the suits he likes, at which point Crotch struts out and the inevitable seduction, complete with end-of-the-show water works, begin. And Crotch can only get the ol’ equipment up and hosing, I’m told, if said scenario is pursued.
How damn exhausting. Whatever happened to a little sweat, not too much intrigue and even fewer props? Is that so old-fashioned? For Crotch, the answer would be yes.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Today's Blind Items
Hey, it's definitely not Ben Affleck, but it is someone who starred with him in a film once. Of course that could be a lot of people so lets narrow it down to B- actor, 95% films, although two great television appearances that come to mind are also part of his resume. He has basically been off the radar the past year. Oh sure, a bit part here and a bit part there, but this actor with the A list facial recognition has spent the better part of the past year in rehab. Not quite the crack smoking in the living room firing off shotguns, but he did manage to abuse just about every drug you can imagine over the past three years. What finally sent him to rehab though was his ex wife's promise to take away visitation rights of their child(ren) if he didn't stop leaving her/him/them unattended so he could both score and use drugs. The drug paraphernalia littering the floor was probably also not good parenting.
Random Photos Part One
You know I love when a reader sends in a photo from some far flung corner of the world. Love it, and so they get to go first. I think that Metallica making an appearance in Bucharest after an 8 year absence also is worthy. Thanks Gabriela.
Metallica - Bucharest
Cheech & Chong back together again. Finally, something for Grateful Dead fans to do for a few months.
Alan Cumming and his niece Eve. I see the resemblance, although I'm sure as soon as I say that, someone will probably tell me she was adopted or something.
A first time appearance for David Leon
Disturbed - West Palm Beach, FL
I know The Libertines have been in the music photos but I don't think Carl Barat has ever been in the photos alone.
It's all making sense. Now, I know why Christina Aguilera wears so much makeup.
Although Ben Affleck makes an appearance in every blind item, it has been awhile since he was in the photos.
It's almost like you expect Jon Hamm to do a double take.
James Franco wasn't supposed to be in this position, so I of course screwed up the joke I was going to use. He was supposed to be in the position after Pamela Anderson. Well he can get in line for that, but I was going to show you how James and Pam were both on Dave last night and no one even seemed to notice that James was there.
James Denton has been in the photos often, but I don't think his wife has.
I'm assuming those pieces of rope on Justine Bateman's shirt are there to lasso her breasts in case they make a run for it.
Another reason to love Idina Menzel. These two women won a lunch with Idina in a charity auction and she actually went to lunch with them and ate and everything.
John Oates, and yes, it's Klaus Meine. Did you ever hear the Scorpions cover of Kiss Is On My List? Me either, because it didn't happen but I bet it would be great.
If you are going to have Klaus you have to have Rudolf Schenker. You have to.
And another singer you have to listen to is Geoff Byrd.
Jason Lewis dancing through Japan
and looking as if he maybe put on a pound or two as well.
For all of you Yankee fans, Mariano Rivera.
For all of you old school fans, Mitzi Gaynor.
I just posted Mathew Goode and Hayley Atwell last week, but really just love the photo so thought I would post them again. Can't decide about the film, but they look good.
Katie Holmes is completely alone. Run Katie run.
So, DNfromMN wanted me to include this photo of Paula Patton in his review today. This is from the current issue of Esquire. I believe he said she would almost make a gay man straight. Almost.
And thanks to the many, many people who sent me the photo or the link to this photo of our favorite Princess. Yes, she's smiling, and she looks great.
Because this is random photos. How about French figure skater Phillipe Candelero in a speedo?
Apparently Pamela Anderson is still popular.
Nathan Sapsford and one of the most requested Australians, Jason Dundas.
Slipknot - West Palm Beach, FL
Seth Gilliam representing The Wire at a discussion of the show. Still can't believe how it got shafted in the Emmys.
So, here is an ignorant guy question. Russell Simmons and his date of the day are coming from dinner. Why on earth do women need a bag that large to go to dinner? Look at the weight of it. It's full. Does it have the pants she apparently took off at some point in the evening? How much stuff do you need to bring?
Tell me the last time you saw Rosie Perez looking this good.
I preferred Rosario Dawson in Italy with the bikini and the hose, but this will do.
Wendell Pierce also of The Wire.
One of my favorite band names The Ting Tings.
Stevie Wonder - Los Angeles
It is hard to believe that Steve Valentine hasn't been in the photos before. I'm sorry.
Chris Rock crashed The Pineapple Express press conference. Apparently he thought they had brought free samples. You will see what I mean next week when DNfromMN reviews it.
Metallica - Bucharest
Cheech & Chong back together again. Finally, something for Grateful Dead fans to do for a few months.
Alan Cumming and his niece Eve. I see the resemblance, although I'm sure as soon as I say that, someone will probably tell me she was adopted or something.
A first time appearance for David Leon
Disturbed - West Palm Beach, FL
I know The Libertines have been in the music photos but I don't think Carl Barat has ever been in the photos alone.
It's all making sense. Now, I know why Christina Aguilera wears so much makeup.
Although Ben Affleck makes an appearance in every blind item, it has been awhile since he was in the photos.
It's almost like you expect Jon Hamm to do a double take.
James Franco wasn't supposed to be in this position, so I of course screwed up the joke I was going to use. He was supposed to be in the position after Pamela Anderson. Well he can get in line for that, but I was going to show you how James and Pam were both on Dave last night and no one even seemed to notice that James was there.
James Denton has been in the photos often, but I don't think his wife has.
I'm assuming those pieces of rope on Justine Bateman's shirt are there to lasso her breasts in case they make a run for it.
Another reason to love Idina Menzel. These two women won a lunch with Idina in a charity auction and she actually went to lunch with them and ate and everything.
John Oates, and yes, it's Klaus Meine. Did you ever hear the Scorpions cover of Kiss Is On My List? Me either, because it didn't happen but I bet it would be great.
If you are going to have Klaus you have to have Rudolf Schenker. You have to.
And another singer you have to listen to is Geoff Byrd.
Jason Lewis dancing through Japan
and looking as if he maybe put on a pound or two as well.
For all of you Yankee fans, Mariano Rivera.
For all of you old school fans, Mitzi Gaynor.
I just posted Mathew Goode and Hayley Atwell last week, but really just love the photo so thought I would post them again. Can't decide about the film, but they look good.
Katie Holmes is completely alone. Run Katie run.
So, DNfromMN wanted me to include this photo of Paula Patton in his review today. This is from the current issue of Esquire. I believe he said she would almost make a gay man straight. Almost.
And thanks to the many, many people who sent me the photo or the link to this photo of our favorite Princess. Yes, she's smiling, and she looks great.
Because this is random photos. How about French figure skater Phillipe Candelero in a speedo?
Apparently Pamela Anderson is still popular.
Nathan Sapsford and one of the most requested Australians, Jason Dundas.
Slipknot - West Palm Beach, FL
Seth Gilliam representing The Wire at a discussion of the show. Still can't believe how it got shafted in the Emmys.
So, here is an ignorant guy question. Russell Simmons and his date of the day are coming from dinner. Why on earth do women need a bag that large to go to dinner? Look at the weight of it. It's full. Does it have the pants she apparently took off at some point in the evening? How much stuff do you need to bring?
Tell me the last time you saw Rosie Perez looking this good.
I preferred Rosario Dawson in Italy with the bikini and the hose, but this will do.
Wendell Pierce also of The Wire.
One of my favorite band names The Ting Tings.
Stevie Wonder - Los Angeles
It is hard to believe that Steve Valentine hasn't been in the photos before. I'm sorry.
Chris Rock crashed The Pineapple Express press conference. Apparently he thought they had brought free samples. You will see what I mean next week when DNfromMN reviews it.