Four For Friday - Quick And Dirty - Mostly Dirty

#1 - Besides being a drunken buffoon, this A list actor has caused quite the stir at one of the gated complexes in which he lives. Seems he is a big fan of long walks at night. The thing is, his walks seem to always call for a break whenever he sees an open window that he can peer through. Doesn't seem to be all about sex. He just likes walking up to open windows and looking in. Neighbors don't appreciate it very much, although so far it has only involved private security and not the cops.

#2 - Mild mannered on and off screen, this aging, but not old, former Academy Award winning actor has a favorite haunt. He loves this S&M club. Although his name is on the membership records, when he is at the club or an event he always wears a mask the entire time and has everyone call him Steve. His favorite activities always have to include redheads. Don't know why, just one of his kinks apparently.

#3&4 - This male television A-lister and C+ film lister has a unique game. How many different women he can have sex with in 24 hours? No hookers allowed. Has to be women he picks up. So far his current record is 7. His male co-star with a steady girlfriend keeps track. Oh, and the girlfriend knows and thinks it is hot. Her word, definitely not mine.

Random Photos Part One

I figure why not start out with some of your favorites, although I think we will all admit that when Jeremy Piven takes a better photo than Gerard Butler your weekend might not be starting off as well as one could hope. But look you can have Guy Ritchie or Ludacris if you prefer.

Dick Cavett almost made it to the top, because, well lets face it, he is Dick Cavett.

Someone who will never make it to the top unless he is caught on film naked in a men's room in a park is Dane Cook.
Carmen, Carmen, Carmen. I thought we were beyond the whole need to look hot even though 40 is around the corner thing. I mean this is just not classy. This screams Mariah Carey and not in a good way.
Obviously Jesse McCartney is showing us how many brain cells he has left which is his only excuse for whatever the hell he is wearing.

See, this is a reality couple I can get behind. I mean Jenna Morasca and Ethan Zohn have been going out forever and unlike Speidi, you would probably want to hang out with this couple.
Jennifer Lopez's first experiment with making her own clothes was not the fashion success she hoped it would be.
"So, then the goat said to me, grab me by the horns and I will make you a king."
Feist - New York
Well if she doesn't stop stealing other boyfriends, Green is going to be the next black & blue. Seriously. Shanna Moakler will beat Kim Kardashian down, and now it looks like Reggie won't be there to help Kim back up.

Kelsey Grammer looks remarkably good for a guy who said he died two weeks ago.
Hell, I must be in a good mood because Kevin Costner looks good.
And then he ruins it by hiring out himself to play at his own after party. Remarkably, four or even five people stayed to watch him play.
Jessica Simpson looks nice. There I said it. She does actually though. Must have found out John is going to be over at Pete's place this weekend.
Wow, someone who doesn't look so good. Damn Quentin.

Well the wig looks just as fake as the rest of Paula.
Swear this is true. Nicole Richie wore this to yoga class.
This man is by far the bravest man on the planet. He is dating Naomi Campbell.
Awww. I miss Mare Winningham. Does anyone know if she ever made it into double digits with kids? I could look it up, but laziness runs through my family. I blame sugar.

About ever six months I like to post a photo of Victoria Silvstedt just so I can see what alterations she has made to her body. Entire teams of plastic surgeons can buy countries based on what she has spent.

The Music - Incheon, Korea
The Go! Team - Incheon, Korea
She'll have a boyfriend by mid-August, and if not the tabs will find one for her.
Rush - Noblesville, IN

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which mis-matched celebrity couple hate having their photo taken in public because of their ridiculous height difference?

Ask Elizabeth Berkley

MTV has apparently taken an interest in the workshops that Elizabeth Berkley does all across the country for teenage girls to help them with their self-esteem and also to answer questions they may have which they don't want to ask their parents. MTV is going to shoot a pilot based on the workshops. Now, from what I understand, Elizabeth's workshops are actually quite useful, but I'm just thinking that with the tendency of MTV to spice things up, that the questions will tend to be how shall I say spicier?

Of course, these are all imaginary, but since the girls involved in the questioning only know Elizabeth through a few projects, I can just imagine what she will be asked.

"When you rub makeup on your nipples to make them stand out, what shade should it be?"

"When you film a sex scene in a swimming pool, are there any special things I should know about first?"

"Did Screech ever make a pass at you?"

"Did Al Pacino tip you well when you played that hooker in Any Given Sunday?"

"In Student Seduction you played a teacher who was accused of being sexually attracted to a student. Has a teacher ever hit on you?"

"Have you ever picked up random guys to have sex with like you did in Meet Market? Why do you keep playing these roles?"

Ummm, so why again are these girls supposed to be looking up to Elizabeth Berkley?

Randy Pausch Revisted

I know that I posted Randy Pausch's last lecture a few months ago, but with his death today, I thought it would be a good time to share it again. If you haven't seen the video, or even if you have, I think it is something that everyone can benefit from repeatedly. I give Oprah a whole bunch of crap, but I will say that she could have pulled the video off of YouTube from her show, but has chosen not to. I appreciate that, and hope that you will take Randy's lessons to heart. RIP Randy, and to his wife and three kids, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

$40,000 Is What Lil Kim's Life Is Worth

Although I'm sure my biography would probably bring me an advance sufficient enough to get me a McDonald's kid's meal, it is funny to see how much book publishers think celebrities are worth when it comes to book advances. You always hear about the multi-million dollar advances and the amounts paid for baby pictures to the stars is always crazy.

So, it must come as quite a shock to Lil Kim and Foxy Brown that their lives are worthless in celebrity terms, at least according to book publishers.

Both Kim and Foxy were sued yesterday because Simon & Schuster had given them some money in advance for the to write their biographies. Kim was given $40,000 and Brown was given $75,000. That's it?

To me it seems kind of insulting. Although I'm sure I wouldn't know half the people they would spill about, you would think that their stories would be much more interesting than say what Madonna's brother had to say. I mean both of these women have been in jail multiple times. They have had some crazy ass relationships, and in the case of Foxy Brown appear to actually be crazy.

I would love to read about what the hell they had to do or who they had to do to get their records made. I don't care if I don't know who the hell they are talking about as long as it's good. If I were them and got that chump change I wouldn't bother writing the damn book either. To me its saying, hey if I was some white chick celebrity who gave birth to the 600th celebrity kid I would be worth $1M, but because I'm going to tell you about the four guys who made me blow them in the recording studio to get a good song then you just aren't going to pay. Personally I've seen enough baby photos. Let me hear about Kim and her take on the East Coast/West Coast rap wars and who the hell she thinks killed Tupac.

$40,000? That's like Foxy Brown's legal bills for a week.

At this point I think the whole world is tired of the same kind of gossip and I want to hear some really good juice. If Karrine Steffans can keep me interested with her book, then I know both of these would even be better. So, instead of suing the women, promise them even more money if they do come through and write the books and give me some damn dirt.

"A Giant F**king Orgasm"

Well we know how Christopher Ciccone feels about his new book about his sister Madonna. The above quote was given to MSNBC in an interview he did about his new book. Apparently he wrote it because he needed the money and had not originally started to write it for anything other than money. But, then something happened.

He said the thought of making her squirm was what kept him going throughout the process of writing the book.

Here is what I think the whole damn thing is about. I actually think that he and Madonna are not as much on the outs as everyone has been saying. I think it is way too much of a coincidence that all these Madonna stories flooding the internet right as she launches her tour just happened to occur.

I mean what does his book reveal? Not really all that much we didn't know in the first place. Oh sure, there have may have been some detail to the stories we all heard before, but the thing is we had heard the stories before. Christopher said he had to leave out the juicy stuff because of the lawyers and editors. I'm not buying it. Truth is a defense to defamation and if he was there, and saw it, then he doesn't really have anything to fear. How did he time the book to coincide with her tour? If they were so on the outs how did he know she would be touring? I think the whole A-Rod thing, the book, the marriage and all of the other goodies that have been floated out there are just one massive PR blitz to sell tickets. One last masterful manipulation of the press by Madonna.

The problem is it still isn't working and ticket sales suck.

Has anyone else noticed that Madonna has ignored the book? Madonna ignoring free press? No statements condemning it or her brother. Nothing. Just crickets.

I wouldn't even be surprised if in the next month or so there is some Kneepads cover with both Christopher and Madonna talking about how all of this controversy has brought them together and reunited them as a family. Throw in some mystery illness of their father and you have a real tear jerker to give the world as a finale.

Ted C Blind Item

OK, was going to do the Blind Vice story on the Academy Award-friendly actress who thinks her cats can read, which is why she has their names written on their separate litter boxes, but that tale simply pales in comparison to Toothy Tile, who’s back and gayer than, like, ever! Dude’s losin’ his recent, overly prissy, shy shit and gettin’ his non-Nellie nerve back on (much to everyone’s surprise, just not mine).

See, ol’ Tooth, our fave partner in sex-in-public crime is being just as brazen, only with words, not his crotch. The pretty boy (man, on occasion) is gleefully telling more than a few gossipy girls—which means boys, natch, in highly exaggerated fagola speak, but then, I’m sure you already knew that, hon-cakes—that he’s quite aware the hunt for his identity is on. And has been for sometime. Says he enjoys it, even. Who wouldn’t, really? Especially if you’re dead certain your identity will never be revealed. Yep, that’s right.

T2 says he’s havin’ such a fab gay ol’ experience of it all because he’s “sure,” as it’s been relayed to this columnist, that the true identity of Mr. Tile will never, ever be discussed by yours truly. Oh, really? Is that so?

Just don’t count on it, bud. What with the myriad lies to the public (I mean, really, you’re as bad about your true sexual persuasion as Cathy Douglas is with her age), you're on thin vice, babe, so watch it.

Today's Blind Items

#1 - This former female reality star and now just a D list wannabe decided to make a move on the mahogany one also known as Ronaldo. She offered her services to him for the evening at a reasonable $5000 at which point he laughed and laughed and said, "Look around. Look at me. Why would I pay for anyone?"

#2 - Speaking of reality stars. I've heard this twice today, but since it isn't Christmas I can't believe it until I see it. Could it be that our athlete has finally seen the light and broken it off with the reality star I cannot stand.

Random Photos Part One

It takes a special moment for a music photo to get the top spot, but this seems to be so random and so unusual that it is definitely worth the spot.

Fergie & Slash - Las Vegas

Three different brands of spray tan for your selection. Adrian Grenier's looks the most natural. Jamie Pressley's looks outrageous and Kevin Connelly, well lets just say I'm glad Kevin finally got some sun or its chemical equivalent.
I know Amanda Peet upset some of you last week, and so feel free to say what you have to say. That is her mom Penny by the way. Yes, Amanda is my friend, but hey, she is a big girl and she can handle what you have to say.
Now, I don't mean to be a party pooper. Does anyone use that term anymore? Anyway, this is the second consecutive year that Bindi has got this big birthday party at Australia Zoo. Great, fantastic, but what about the little brother? Is he stuck at home with some brownies and a DVD of Crocodile Dundee?
Happy birthday Daniel Radcliffe. I'm guessing the woman behind him isn't going to be buying him a gift however.

See, X-Files means I get to see photos of Diane Kruger everyday for awhile and that is never a bad thing.
Well I'm looking forward to X-Files so much that I'm actually not even going to say anything bad about David Duchovny. In fact there is a little tribute to him later in the post.
Cafe Tacuba - Mexico City
You know I have to admit that it doesn't surprise me one bit to find that Bai Ling has that tattoo there. Instead of the tiger though I did expect maybe like a McDonalds logo with the words over one billion served or something.
Apparently no one told Joanna Angel that pens are the preferred way to autograph books.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians Ten Year Reunion Show
How can it be X-Files without Gillian Anderson.
So, you get her twice. I really wanted to keep running with that thought, but hey, it's Gillian and so that would be wrong of me, at least in writing.
At some point, I think there needs to be a federal agency entrusted with the job of determining at what point in age and weight that the following can be worn: Spandex; thongs; and leather pants.

Linkin Park as you probably have never seen them.

Luis Guzman looks like the front runner for the 2008 Jack Black Belly Challenge.
Don't worry about it puppy. You aren't the first creature that hasn't wanted to go home with Lily Allen. Although, I will admit she does look good here.
Thrilled aren't they? Have you read the reports about the dinner? Apparently they kept feeding each other bites of their food. Well as you all probably know by now, guys don't feed anything to women or offer any of their food to women after about date 3. Sure, if you guilt us into it we might let you taste something. Might. So, the idea of Justin doing it all throughout dinner willingly just shows me it is all for show.
Garry Shandling and David Duchovny together again. Don't remember? Shame, shame.




No visible leash or collar for Nick Cannon. Do you think Mariah has some kind of electronic thing which gives him a shock if he strays too far from her?

Hey, if you win Miss Universe, I think that you should get at least one shot in the photos.
Mitch Pileggi how I have missed you.
Molotov - Mexico City
Martin Landau almost got the top spot because, well lets face it, he's great. Love him.

If you have to suffer with a photo of Fergie by herself you should at least get Slash in a bathrobe to make up for it. I think that is in the Constitution somewhere.

Sheryl Crow - Nashville
Lloyd!!! I know I always say the same thing when there is a Rex Lee photo, but all of you are thinking the same thing anyway.
Perry Ferrell and his lovely wife Etty.
OK GO - Los Angeles
Yevgeny Sudbin - London

Xzibit may want to get those pants lengthened just a little.
You know Tommy Davidson is just one hell of a guy. I mean when you go to a club, the first thing you think of doing is showing off your chest too right?
Botox or just a smile that won't quit?
Well at least the wax Tyra and the real Tyra have the same personality.