Crazy Days and Nights: 5/18/08

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Cannes Day 11

Juliette Lewis

Rose McGowan

Zhang Zilin

Scott Speedman and Rachael Blanchard

Sarah Marshall

Milla Jovovich

Kerry Washington

Kate Hudson

Dita von Teese

Antonio Cupo

Friday, May 23, 2008

Four For Friday - Memorial Day Edition

All of these happened on Memorial Day. No? OK, well how about they all happened to dead people. No? OK, well how about just some regular blind items then. As for Monday, it is a holiday in the US, and so the posting will be limited. However, there will be a long blind item to keep you busy should you be bored, or at work, or just not looking forward to putting on that happy face for the BBQ you have to attend at your in-laws. If you are driving somewhere this weekend, I just have two things to say. Be safe, and you must be rich, because I can't afford to drive anymore.

#1 & #2 - She (#1) is an actress. Aging, glamorous, and someone you think of with prestigious awards, but actually she really hasn't been nominated or won any big ones. She has made a living in great independent films. Foreign born. Probably C list in the entire scheme of things but with B name recognition. He (#2) is an actor. He is B list through and through. Younger than #1 and he tends to play nice and easy comfortable roles. No real stretching for him. Good looking. Really good looking actually. Both #1 and #2 are married. Both have a child(ren). Romances on sets are nothing new, even between married people. The interesting thing about this one is that #1 often cheats while on set while #2 apparently has never done so until now. #1 and #2 were having a glorious time. (I'm starting to sound like Will Ferrell in those Fenwick Arms skits) This is sounding tame until I tell you that #2's wife had the misfortune of dropping in on #1 and #2 while they were engaging in adult activities in #2's trailer. This situation was further complicated by #2's child(ren) running in at the same time and seeing dad, ummm. Yeah. Therapy anyone?

#3 - This married Golden Globe winning television actor from a network drama is older. Doesn't stop him from having guys nights out with his guy friends. Sad to say though those poker games he says he's having. Oh, he's having them, but with a group of strippers at a condo he owns. The only money changing hands in the game is what he pays for them to act out his fantasies.

#4 - This celebrity couple have several children. The problem is that one of the kids is not the biological son of the male in the relationship. Daddy thinks he's the daddy but he isn't. Mom slipped and told the real dad who now wants to see his child. This should get very messy, very soon.

Cannes Day 10

Catherine Keener , Michelle Williams and Samantha Morton

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Kerry Washington

Julia Ormond, Franka Potente, Benicio Del Toro, Catalina Sandino Moreno

Paolo Sorrentino

Quentin Tarantino

Anouk Marguerite

Random Photos Part One - With A Reader Photo

Just thought I would get you all warmed up for FFF by posting this photo of Paul Murray in his Bob The Builder outfit. Oh, and that big dude is Batista. Not in FFF, so don't start smiling from ear to ear.

Who doesn't love Bryan Cranston? OK, there is probably someone, but he is just so versatile.

Alanis Morissette - New York

Ahhh, the elusive movie kiss. Wow, don't they look real? It really looks like Justin Bartha and Catherine Zeta Jones would rather do anything in this world other than kiss each other. Although, the ass grab is a nice touch on both their parts.

Do you see Heather Locklear 20 years ago in this photo of Charlize Theron?

In a blast from the past here's Cheryl Tiegs.

Those before and after photos are killers as Christina Ricci is discovering.

Counting Crows - New York

So, every site that I have run across today is calling this a lesbian kiss. Remember Ali says they are just best friends. Actually, unless Samantha comes out of this with a hickey, I don't think it is that bad.

This one either.

I am now picking Laka to win Eurovision. They have to win. It's like watching Willy Wonka meets Alice In Wonderland on acid.

Jennifer. It's ok. You can buy a bigger size dress.

Shortly after this photo, a gust of wind came along and Jackie Chan's career went right over the railing.

I think Robert Evans is telling Ali MacGraw about the time he set his pool on fire and then brought out the elephants who were being ridden by strippers.

Prince Charles joke #1 -

"I say, this is rather more of a weed than a tree. Speaking of weeds, have I told you about the marvelous time I had in Jamaica?

Prince Charles joke #2 -

"Tastes a little like chicken."

It's not a really bad A&F ad, but rather some press for a film called Newcastle. Wow. This should make $5, maybe less.

I actually thought at first that this photo of Mark Wahlberg was taken at a wax museum exhibit.

Usher - London

I didn't even recognize Sienna Miller. This is on the set of G.I. Joe.

So is this one pant leg rolled up thing kind of like the one glove thing from Michael Jackson.

This is a press photo for a show in the UK called Strictly Come Conducting. It is a spin off of Strictly Come Dancing which is here in the US as Dancing With The Stars. Please with everything that is holy in this world, do not have a Conducting With The Stars show here in the US, because I would have no choice but to kill myself.

Ahhhh. It took awhile today, but here is our reader photo of the day.

Your Turn - With Bea Arthur

So, this week, it is all up to you. Ideally what I would like to see is just stuff that you have seen this week that other people might not have seen. Of course your plugs, your products, your services. Whatever. Here is some PR stuff that I have been saving.

This one is from a few weeks ago and is really funny and was done in honor of Bea Arthur's birthday. Her top ten television moments. #10 will burn in your memory forever. Forever.

The PR people keep working me over to show this video from David Guetta.

And also Sleepercar. If any of you really love Sleepercar aand want to do a review, could probably get you in. They do seem to have a bunch of dates all over the US and Canada. In Vancouver tonight actually.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which Tv star and former drug addict is back on the white stuff and taking more than ever, even though she insists she's going straight?

More Elitist Crap

I think my earlier rant against Kathy Hilton was fed in large measure by this report I read last night on TMZ. Yeah, I admit it I read their site. Yesterday at Bally's Gym there was a mistake in the booking of a room. It was double booked. Happens all the time. No problem. There was a group of people who were in the room beginning their aerobics class when they were all asked to leave so Britney Spears could use the room.

The staff at Bally's tried to placate the crowd by giving them free t-shirts and water bottles, some of which were thrown at the staff. The manager at Bally's apologized for the double booking, but didn't explain why the needs of 20 people in a class were less important than the needs of Britney Spears. What the hell makes her a better person. If you or I or any "everyday" (thanks Kathy Hilton) person were in the same situation, we would have been told to wait until the class was over or given another room.

What makes Britney any different or special than the rest of us? Because she's famous? Because she might stop coming to the gym? Who the f**k cares? What about the 20 people who have been having money sucked from their checking accounts each month for god knows how long in some onerous contract and want to get something out of their membership? Do you think maybe they fit the class into their schedule? Have lives? Well that doesn't matter because Britney wanted the room, and when someone who has more money or fame comes along, then everyone else just doesn't matter. At least according to Bally's Gym.

I Must Have Had A Blackout

Look, I know I drink way too much and have been known to pass out short of making it to the bed, but was I out of it for a month or something? When did Sean Combs and Tracey Edmonds start dating? According to WireImage they have never been photographed together by that agency which means she isn't in Cannes, yet she is running around telling anyone who will listen that they are a couple.

Last I saw, Diddy was diddling Kim Porter again and getting creepy with the girl and the umbrella in Cannes. He then made Naomi Campbell cry yesterday and watched Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson make out, but still no Tracey.

He may want to have a chat with her because this is a quote from an interview yesterday which does show she has a future as a Kneepads Magazine writer should she actually wish to work for a living. "Diddy is the funniest man I've ever met. I'm so lucky to find someone so soon after Eddie. It's early days - we've only been on three or four dates - but he's whisked me off my feet. I don't know about wedding bells but he's definitely the man for me."

WTF? Seriously? I feel like I walked into 24 about mid-way through the season. I understand and accept the fact there are too many people and too much gossip around the world for me to know everything, or everyone, but I really missed this one. If true, it looks like Tracey Edmonds continues stepping up the ladder nicely on her quest for gold. Yes, she has her own money, but I think she likes to spend the money of other people first. Can't wait until she and Kim Porter meet. Damn I wish I was going to be there.

Guess What? What? Kathy Hilton Thinks She And Her Family Are Better Than Us.

Kathy Hilton did an extensive interview with The Daily Mail and of course even though she was there to plug her new skincare line, she spent most of the time talking about Paris. At one point during the interview she was talking about Paris' jail sentence and had this to say, "It's true that life's been comfortable for Paris and jail was probably tougher on her than it would be on, let's say, an everyday person."

An everyday person? Who the f**k is an everyday person? Do you think that all people who weren't born with a silver spoon in our mouths are used to jail or something? Are we all just really criminals because we have no breeding. You can't be f**king serious. What kind of life did you lead where you think there are two different kinds of people? Do you really believe you are better than everyone else and then wonder why your kids turned out the way they did?

What kind of example were you setting or are you continuing to set for your kids? I can just see you judging each and every person with your holier than thou look. Yeah, well not too many of my friends have been down on their hands and knees in a nightclub looking for any coke that has spilled to the floor so they can hoover it up. Did you tell your kids about that experience? While you were out, was it ok to go ahead and f**k an everyday person in the coat check, and then go home and feel naughty that you did it with someone, who's parents, gasp, worked for a living? Maybe it should have been you spending 45 days in prison, but then I would have had to see and your happy ass talking to Barbara Walters in some five part jailhouse interview about how it nearly ruined your life.

F**k you Kathy Hilton and your elitist, I'm better than everyone else attitude. Get a f**king clue about what life is really like.

Your Baby Is Alive After Six Months. You Deserve An Award

Obviously the people over at Babytalk magazine have learned a few things about publicity. Following in the steps of the group that gave Dina Lohan an award for parenting, Babytalk has decided to bestow their highest award, the Golden Pacifier to Nicole Richie. The reason for the award is simple. Having managed to keep her baby alive for the first six months is reason enough when you want paps swarming the event and having blogs and tabloids publishing your name.

The fact that Nicole has admitted to not changing any diapers in the first six months is apparently a positive. The fact that she managed to get her boyfriend, nanny, and various helpers do all the work just is a sign of good parenting. I didn't actually see that part in the press release, but, I'm sure it must have been included in a draft somewhere.

The magazine was also in awe at how she manages to go out every other night and still has not forgotten the name of her daughter. Harlow. Yes, that's it. She remembers it because it rhymes with car towed which is what happened after the cops arrested her for driving on the wrong side of the freeway.

Congratulations Nicole on your outstanding achievements. I'm sure mothers everywhere around the world are applauding your parenting skills and wish they had the skills you do. No, they do. They wish they didn't have to work the two jobs because their ex walked out. When he pays child support it still isn't enough to even cover the cost of daycare, but mom doesn't complain because she is doing what is best for her children. The moms of the world admire how you are such a good mom that you don't even have to worry about finding the time to cook for your kids, clean for them, play with them, read to them, all while trying to find 5 hours of sleep and someone to fix that pinging sound in your 10 year old car.

So again, Congratulations Nicole. You must be very proud to be recognized as the mom of the year.

Do You Think Miley Has A Stripper Pole?

Well, she is at it again. I really am at a loss for words. A few weeks ago it was the naked body covered in a sheet for Vanity Fair. She apologizes, and then we get these. Do you think Billy Ray Cyrus is taking these almost naked photos of Miley Cyrus or, is just cheering her on in the background. The other potentially disturbing Disney news out of all this, is that the photos were allegedly taken for Nick Jonas. Yep. Mr. Purity, not going to touch anyone until I'm married. Well, maybe he isn't going to touch anyone, but if the allegations are true, he sure is going to look. Wonder if he sends her anything? It appears to me the photos were probably taken at the same time as her bra pictures from a few weeks ago. Different outfits I guess so Nick gets some variety. The question is then, who is releasing them? Billy Ray? Miley? Nick?

Ted C. Blind Item

Traceless Turncoat, our ol' backstabbing TV babe, who's made quite the career outta selling out her boob-tube amigos (for cash and prizes, mind you) has been—horrors!—behaving herself, as of late. Too boring for words. But, wouldn't ya know it: Word got back to T.T. that her network's higher-ups were perfectly aware she'd turned herself into a Jackie Collins version of Benedict Arnold, and that she'd better cool it. That, she did.

That is until her glitzy place of employment began hiring much younger, prettier, more shapely things who just happened to have far more impressive cleavages than does our babe, Trace. Yikes! What's an averagely endowed, amoral, conniving, man-munching, nominally talented bitch to do? Surgery? Amazingly engineered push-up bras? Suicide?

Nope. But duct tape certainly seemed to be a viable option. So to the hardware store went Ms. T's horrified stylist, who didn't know whether to laugh, cry or get some spackle, too (T2's not quite as flawless as she used to be). See, Ms. T had a plan, and this is indeed what that poor stylin' worker bee has to put up with every day Traceless is glammed up for her TV show: They both go into T.T.'s private dressing room, and before the latest ta-tas-showing outfit is practically painted onto the girl's increasingly diminishing figure, the dresser wraps an entirely nude Turncoat's midsection in industrial-strength tape, winding up just underneath Ms. T's breasts, thereby turning her natural-born babies into Pam Anderson-style bazookas.

Get it? Duct tape, babes. Directly onto—and then off of, 'course—the vain honey's skin. Every damn day. Oh, and Trace is hardly subtle about the pain during the taking off process. Swears like...well, me.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Today's Blind Items

#1 - Judging by the way this formerly married male singer with a reality television past was being mobbed by D list women you would think his current long term relationship was over. Judging by the amount of phone numbers he collected from said women, it very well could be.

#2 - This B+ film actor is thisclose to being A list. Not only starring in big popcorn flicks, but also big award winning films as well. Portrayed to the media as a strong heterosexual, on the set of his latest film, he fell in love... with a guy. They now live together.