You Know It's Time To Stop Breast-Feeding When...
I think before this goes any further, all of you need to know I am a big fan of breast feeding. I believe in it and support it and think that if possible children should be breast fed until they are six months. I know many people cannot do it for whatever reason such as work or an inability to do so and that is fine as well. I'm not judging and don't think you are a bad parent if you don't. The point of all this is that Gossip Girl actress Kelly Rutherford gave an interview to US Weekly in which she says she is still breast feeding her 2 year old son and is about to give birth to a second child this summer. She says she loves breast feeding her son and that many cultures do it until the baby is five years old. She plans on doing it with her son until it doesn't feel right anymore. OK, just because some cultures do it until a child is five does not mean that you need to do it to. In the vain of "You Might Be A Redneck If..." here are my "You Know It's Time To Stop Breast Feeding When..."
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid tells your dad to move out of the way.
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid goes home from kindergarten at lunch so he can eat at home.
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid has names for each breast.
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid can spell the word breast.
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid wants a cigarette after.
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid can do it standing up.
Feel free to add your own.
Love the last one. My god, I can't believe how stupid people can be.
ReplyDeleteI had a Brit friend who breastfed her son until he was three. He would hold out his grubby hands, make squeeze gestures and yell, "Tittay!" at the top of his lungs. Entertaining the first time, not so much the third or fourth time she whipped it out.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's time to stop breastfeeding when the kid asks you to eat more chocolate so he can have a shake.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's time to stop breastfeeding when the kid's friends start lining up for their turn.
I always think it silly when people say "some cultures do x," because that doesn't make it appropriate in our culture.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's time to stop breastfeeding when you kid says, "Okay, lay off the garlic!"
ReplyDeleteI was once talking to my neighbor while her 4-year-old daughter was playing nearby. In mid conversation, the daughter walked up, lifted the mom's shirt up, undid the nursing bra and latched on for a quick drink. Meanwhile, the mom never stopped talking or acknowledged anything was out of the norm.
ReplyDeleteMy head still bears the hole that image left in it...
Has anyone seen Little Britain? There's a recurring sketch involving a man whose mom is still breast feeding him as an adult. It's hilarious but extremely creepy.
ReplyDeletei just took a breast-feeding class as a first time parent. the World Health Organization has a global target for "exclusive breastfeeding for six months and
ReplyDeletecontinued breastfeeding up to two years of age or beyond"
http://www.who.int/nutrition/publications/infantfeeding/en/index.html
see english brochure, page 22 of the pdf document.
i was shocked too... mat leave nowadays is better than in the past, but most people don't take 6 months off.
these moms do it because of their own sick need, not for their kids. it's like the ones that don't potty train because little johnny isn't ready so at 4 years of age he's still in a diaper. just be honest already - you'll worry about it when johnny is old enough to drive to the store and buy his own damn diapers. stupid people.
ReplyDeleteOMG I had an Arab friend in Jr. High who had a 5 year old little brother and I almost flipped my wig when during our playdate, her little brother says, "Mommy I am hungry" then mom proceed to take her blouse and bra off and breast fed this 5 year old kid.
ReplyDeleteI never knew people did this at this age, woooooww
In Canada mat leave is a year. I think I heard it's two years in Sweden. Almost makes me want to get knocked up. Almost.
ReplyDeleteI met someone who let the kid do it at age 5 .. by that time i thought it was more of a habit for the kid than nutrition.
ReplyDeleteAs for the WHO above... maybe it living in poor country where food is scare etc.
OK, I'll bite on this one.
ReplyDeleteI personally breast fed my kids until they stopped being interested. That ended up being @ 13 months for the first and 11 months for the second. For my kids that is what worked. And while I would have kicked the kids off my boobies when they were 18 months I try not to judge others who go longer. It just works better for some parent/kid combos to do it longer.
Besides, Kelly Rutherford will have to wean the 2 year old before her second child is born. I say leave her be. It's her decision, not yours Enty.
I still love ya'. But this one rubbed me the wrong way.
If she is due in the summer she isn't about to give birth. Also in the united states it's recommended that you breastfeed for at least a year, not six months.
ReplyDeleteMy son's pediatrician recommended breastfeeding for at least one year and I exclusively pumped and fed him until he was 14 months (not to get into TMI - he was born with health problems and couldn't breastfeed).
ReplyDeleteI think the concern should be what works best for each family. I don't find 2-years-old to be sick or unusual. I thought it was actually the recommended age by the World Health Organization and after that the children get a lot of the same nutrients out of the food they eat. I don't agree that it is a cultural issue, it is really what is best for a growing baby.
This is a gossip blog and it appears that enty has a lot of people agreeing with him so I won't put links out there but if you are ever interested in just how wonderful breastmilk is for a child, do a quick search on the Internet. It is fascinating.
That being said, you know it's time to stop breastfeeding when your kid asks to borrow the car after his afternoon snack.
11, 12, 13 months is not the same as two years or more. trust that we who did breast feed our kids did the research (just like we did regarding circumcision vs not and immunization vs not) and breast fed our kids as long as we could....within reasonable time frames.
ReplyDeleteyou wanna be creeped out? try watching a toddler having a tantrum about a tit. grabbing at mom's breasts out in public and whining 'tata, mommy! TATA!"
i've witnessed that more than once and it ain't pretty.
It always amazes me when people think they know better than the mom about something like this, breastfeeding. Especially if they've never done it themselves.
ReplyDeleteI breastfed until my son was 24 months old. Call me a freak for the longevity, but women are criticized if they do it for too long and also criticized if they don't do it long enough.
And I would think in third world countries breastfeeding for long periods of time could be a way of delaying ovulation.
I don't get why anyone cares about this. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friend's cousin's was still breastfeeding her son at the age of seven.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with anyone who thinks this was best for the healthy seven year old boy.
Some of the mom's have a hard time letting go because THEY like the closeness and of course there are times that the mother believes they're doing what's best or healthiest for the child.
I am a big breastfeeding supporter. I would have breastfed my daughter longer but returing to work made my supply dwindle. I think mothers should breastfeed as long as it works for both her and her child. That said.....
ReplyDeleteYou know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid can unbutton your blouse himself.
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid's wife demands a whole breast to herself, per the terms of the divorce decree.
ReplyDeletethere are cultures where women nurse til the kid enters puberty too but it's because there's no other fucking food there.
ReplyDeletei've seen this many times---have a friend who sent breast milk to school with her kindergartner. but i am convinced when someone breastfeeds that long, it's way more about the honk they get out of it than it is about being good for the kid. that's just an excuse. a year is ideal---beyond that, it gets progressively more pathological in my opinion and when it goes on several years, it's just sick and creepy.
I'm surprised that most of the people who have commented about this story are perfectly fine with being so incredibly ignorant, misinformed, and uneducated on the benefits of breastfeeding.
ReplyDeleteThe American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization both advocate breastfeeding for at least 2yrs or longer as long as it is mutually desired by both mom and baby.
As long as you are nursing, your breastmilk is still making antibodies/vitamins/minerals.
IT DOES NOT TURN INTO KOOL-AID WHEN YOUR CHILD REACHES 1 for goodness sakes!
Enty, you picked a touchy topic! I stopped nursing my daughter when I was ready. And I deemed her ready to stop when she would scream, "Nurse, Mama!" and pull at my shirt!
ReplyDeleteThat being said, one HUGE benefit of nursing a baby is, what I call, the release of "happy" hormones for the mother. It really helps with the baby blues.
Wow, didn't know Kelly was on GG, I may have to record it some night. Wonder how she feels about breast feeding boys with facial hair.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone would dispute the benefits of breast feeding. I wanted to but was unable to for various health reasons.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my boss breastfed her first until she was 5 and continues to nurse her almost 3 year old and whips it out whenever he says milk. I know it's natural, but I'm kind of tired of seeing my boss's tits at work. She also carries him in a sling, but I live in Austin where this is common among the Lola Granola types.
sasafrass, it's bad enough to call those who disagree with you "incredibly ignorant, misinformed, and uneducated" but when you get it wrong by adding a year to what the AAP says, then who is really ignorant, misinformed and uneducated?
ReplyDeleteFrom the American Acadmey of Pediatrics website:
Exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child.
http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/feb05breastfeeding.htm
I'm in school for medicine right now, we just did our well-child exam section. Breast feeding for the first six months, then start adding in food to the diet one at a time in two week intervals (as an allergy precaution). Tapering off breast milk by 2 years.
ReplyDeleteoh man i totally agree on this that its the moms being selfish about removing that 'bond' rather than what's best for a developing infant.
ReplyDeletenot ALL moms,relax..but some.
sure breastmilk is very good for a baby,but so are solid foods that contain the vitamins and nutrients that your tits do not. not to mention just because you can produce milk, don't always assuume it is the healthiest option for your baby. i've had two freinds who weren't producing milk rich in..whatever the fuck is in there and were instructed to switch to formula and milk combo.
You know it's time to stop breastfeeding when your kid gets braces.
Most cultures where women breastfeed until the child is age five just happen to be (and I'm sure this is absolutely, totally coincidental - yeah right) cultures where women are treated like pond scum and on average die before menopause, often from the side effects of osteoporosis. In others, breastfeeding is the only way the kids can be kept alive. The moment the family has the money to feed the child solid food, late breastfeeding immediately stops.
ReplyDeleteIt's like all these brain-dead psychopaths who think co-sleeping is a good thing. In places where co-sleeping is common, the first thing parents do when they get a little money is to build themselves a separate bedroom with a door that locks. Even there co-sleeping is considered a necessary evil - emphasis on evil.
there used to be a group called "the la leche league" that advocated breastfeeding as long as the kid would take it... big in the 70s and 80s when breast feeding became popular in this country again. and they were militant about it. they made women who were physically unable to feel inadequate and useless. since i haven't seen them mentioned here, maybe they are defunct now. coming from a medical family, i was always told nine months was about right, give or take.
ReplyDeleteand two is a little old, but it depends on the child and his maturity level.
i'm more concerned with the developing fetus, seems to me it would take an awful lot of important nutrients away from it.
let's not all get into a tizzy over spilt milk, everyone. Do what you want. Breastfeed, don't breastfeed. There are MUCH worse things to concern yourself with. Having a militant position on this proves that we live in an overbred "stuff white people like" society.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's time to stop breastfeeding when your knees bruise your nipples while you're jogging.
ReplyDeletemy cousin breast fed her youngest until he was 4 1/2.
ReplyDeleteI always felt it was to make up for a bad marriage.
la leche league is still around today Bionic Bunny.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.lalecheleague.com/public
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYep, Bunny, the la leche league is still around, and still a but militant, but they are a good resource if you have questions about breastfeeding.
ReplyDeleteI personally think that breastfeeding is great for mother and baby, but over 2 years in this culture is too long. I think it can start to hinder their social development.
Charlene- whoa hold your horses their about co-sleeping. No reason to call anyone brain dead. Co-sleeping is common in Japan where the people are neither poverty stricken nor uneducated.
"sure breastmilk is very good for a baby,but so are solid foods that contain the vitamins and nutrients that your tits do not."
ReplyDeleteThis statement shows woeful ignorance. There is no solid food that can compare to the nutrition in breastmilk. An apple, for instance, has a few vitamins and a lot of sugar & some carbs. Breastmilk has all of that plus the perfect mix of protein and fat for a developing brain & all of the immunities and antibodies that are still unable to be replicated by any formula on the market. The AAP recommends solid food to just practice eating in the first year, the bulk of the nutrition is still meant to be breastmilk or formula.
Human milk, like all mammal milk, changes composition based on the child's age. If you have a preemie, your milk is more fattening, if you have a child over 1, the milk actually doubles the antibodies, knowing that at that age te baby is exposed to more germs.
Its fine if people aren't comfortable with nursing, you don't have to be--its a baby's food, so. really. who cares? But it would be nice if folks took a second to learn something about breastfeeding-the facts are not hard to find.
Really? So much judgement.
ReplyDeleteI have two sons, and nursed each until they were around 24 months. I stopped nursing the first when I became pregnant with the second, it was too taxing. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. If I had it to do again, I would. I think that it was good for them and no one seems terribly damaged by the experience. I have friends who nursed their kids and friends who didn't. But it worked for me.
I would think stop nursing when you would ordinarily hand the child a cup. By all means put breast milk in the cup if you like, but allow the child to develop?
ReplyDeleteit's surprising that this still can draw such lines in the sand.
ReplyDeleteand, not choosing sides AT ALL, but the sleeping thing, in japan, is also cultural. housing is at a premium, and families may only have 600 square feet.
but it's not only japan where families share beds. it can be due to space, financial need, even weather conditions. again, lines in the sand.
your ignorance is showing thru. educated people know that babies are suppose to nurse until between 2 and 3. That is why they don't lose the need to suck until age 3, don't develop a complete immune system until after age 4, etc.
ReplyDeleteNot a mom myself, but the kid is 2 not 12! And it should be up to the parent(s) to decide when breast feeding should stop. It's so nutritious.
ReplyDeleteTo add to Enty's list...
You know it's time to stop breastfeeding when your kid asks for breast milk in his college care package.
Good one, Ms. Cool!
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of this 2006 documentary on a woman who was still breast-feeding her almost-8-year-old daughter:
http://tinyurl.com/6fdtts
Based on what the mom said in that clip, I'd say...
You know it's time to stop breast feeding when your kid talks to your breasts, won't let you get dressed in peace, gets upset when you wear a bra instead of letting your boobs "float about" and draw pictures of your boobs.
What would you do if formula wasn't invented? Regular milk can be extremely harsh for a baby....
ReplyDeleteI am all for breastfeeding but feel 2 years is a great cut-off time.
I breastfed both my girls for exactly 12mths to the day of their birth.....and I hated it. I absolutely hate breastfeeding....but I always felt the breast were made to feed babies and it was healthier so I pushed along for a year...
To each their own.
***You know its time to stop breastfeeding when your child asks you to squirt milk into her cereal***
I have a friend who breast fed, on demand until the child was 3 1/2. The only reason she quit was because she got pregnant with her second. Otherwise, any time it was requested, the boob went in the mouth. Trick is, her child has terrible coping skills. She becomes inconsolable over really small things because she didn't really learn to self soothe.
ReplyDeleteWhen they are little, feeding on demand is important because it is their only source of food and main source of comfort. As a child ages, they need to taper off and learn other ways of managing their emotions. Another friend nursed her son until 3 or 4 but as he aged, the nursing was limited to a night time ritual. It was not a soothing technique any time the child was upset.
I'm slightly militant in my own way. I had a horrible time developing supply, my daughter was early so it was difficult for her to latch on. Yet the pro-nursing community really hounds you to keep trying every little thing to make things work because breast is best. Finally, after going on a drug that exacerbated post partum depression, my doctor created some sanity in my life. She reminded me we have potable water, money to buy formula and the most important thing is that my child eats. No guilt required.
Ya know, I'm all for breastfeeding and all, but the do-it-until-they're-three bolshies scare the shit out of me. Couldn't all that anger be directed towards something more productive, such as solving world poverty?
ReplyDeleteYou know that it's time to quit breast feeding when your nipples began to resemble Krazy Straws!
ReplyDeletetahani-
ReplyDeletewhose ignorance? as i stated each child is different.
my son never was able to suck, he was completely off the bottle at 3 months, simply because he wasn't getting enough nourishment to make it more than a half hour or so. we tried everything, and he was started on rice cereal (PERFECTLY OKAY IN THE EARLY EIGHTIES, BTW). he actually drank out of a cup at 3 months and developed just fine, walked, talked, did everything early, is now over six feet and a physically happy adult.
to call someone ignorant in this matter is asinine. school of thought changes every decade, as do social mores.
Some of you guys are really uninformed...
ReplyDeletebreastfeeding until at least two is what is supposed to be done- OUR culture doesn't do it because most of us are just plain lazy. The AAP says 12 months at a minimum, the WHO says 2 yrs at a minimum. Minimum is the LEAST.
And I love when people act like it's the mom holding onto nursing- clearly you know nothing about it. It isn't pleasurable in any sense of the word at all. We do it because it IS what's best for our children. Period.
Woody Harrelson in 'The Grand'.
ReplyDeleteWow was he great in that.
Dang that movie should have gotten
a better distribution deal.
Celebrity poker is so HOT now.
This is the first time I've ever been completely pissed off at you Enty.
ReplyDeleteMy 2 and 1/2 year old son has Autism. I nurse him even though I have no more milk. Kids with Autism have problems 'connecting' and nursing has helped him as much as any of the therapy he's received. Yes, he can nurse standing up but that makes me neither 'stupid' nor 'ignorant'. Do what you like with your own kids and if you have some sick, twisted view of breasts and nursing then it's YOU who have issues...not me.
It's none of your business who breastfeeds and how long they choose to do it.
Screw you, Enty. You're on my shitlist and I think you owe some of us an apology, even if you don't agree or we somehow violate your rules.
And yes, my kid can 'hit the tap' while he's standing up and he can continue as long as he feels it's necessary. Being available to your children is important to them...especially if you have a special needs child.
I don't think I've ever been this upset but it's one thing to pass judgement and criticize a celeb...they CHOSE to be in the spotlight. But those of us who didn't, shouldn't be condemned for our choices.