Come back from a few days off and the next thing you know the voice mail light is blinking and you have a great piece of scoop. Great scoop. I can't write scoop without thinking of ice cream. Damn. Hang on a second. Here is the one thing you must get when you have your own office. One of those little refrigerator/freezer things. I slide it under the desk and then when you need a little something like Ben & Jerry's during the day, its right there. If I had a microwave in my office I swear I would live here. It sucks when your office is nicer than the place you sleep. Just makes me want to bring a cot. Plus they have more channels on the cable here and free internet. Oh, and the rent is free. This really isn't a bad idea.
Anyway, this married NBA All Star took a little time away from the family this weekend to play his own version of Santa Claus. No, this isn't a kindness. Apparently he and one of his long time friends got a suite this weekend and invited a gaggle of strippers. Our basketball player dressed as Santa, minus the pants and invited each of the strippers to sit on his lap. Yep. Each one got a turn with Santa and then his friend who didn't dress up. Seems kind of a waste of a good theme. Anyway, the strippers stayed for several hours until Santa and his friend were completely satisfied and finished spreading their holiday joy. Then Santa went back home to the wife and kid/kids to spend some quality time with the family.
LOL, Enty, your basement stories are a tad less plausible after the Great Shoe Post of '08. ;)
ReplyDeletea gaggle huh? i always wondered what more than one stripper was.
ReplyDeleteWho's married with kids? It seems like most of them are divorced or don't have kids.
ReplyDeleteMooshki's right... each pair of those shoes was a month's rent.
Kobe...once a cheater....
ReplyDeleteYup, All Star, married, kids, cheater. If the shoe fits...
ReplyDeleteI don't think its Kobe only for the fact that he is so well known that the story would have broken already. I wonder if this is Shaq though.......... he is splitting from his wife and he usually plays Santa around Xmas time.
ReplyDeleteOh sorry. My bad. Shaq and his wife are split. Guess it can't be him!! Although he is an All Star, has kids and cheats!!
ReplyDeleteI must be missing some particular girl gene as I don't understand the fuss of shoes. I like comfortable shoes. Heck, I like slippers.
ReplyDeleteThis NBA star is grossing me out. Blech.
Not Shaq. I'd say more like that big piece o' crap Kobe.
ReplyDeleteOh, and one other thing. How nasty is this dude to have mutiple chicks on him, unprotected too.
ReplyDeleteGrant Hill.
ReplyDeleteMarried.
2 kids.
I right away thought of Kobe. Once a skunk always a skunk lol.
ReplyDeleteShaq last time I read about him and his wife they were working things out. If I was married to Shaq I would prefer the divorce. Can't stand this idiot either.
Ok lets see
ReplyDeleteMarried, All Star, Kids
1) Kevin Garnett
2) Paul Pierce (was engaged not sure if married).
3) Tim Duncan (though i can't see him dping this).
4) Shaq
5) Kobe
6) Carlos Boozer (seems like a great family man. Can't see him doing this).
7) Steve Nash (had to laugh at this one)
I may have left some out.
Stave Nash eewwwww LOL. Thanks for the suggestions Nigel.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is Kobe. I'm not saying he's perfect and I know I'm a biased Laker/Kobe fan, but I think he's being more careful/discreet than that nowadays. I also think Kobe is like the Affleck of NBA blinds on CDAN. ;)
Anyhoo, I can't see it being Duncan either. Perhaps Pierce. I'll refrain from stating my opinion of him too severely, out of respect for apimpnameddaver.
Any other names?
Dwyane Wade is an All-Star married with kids.
ReplyDeleteOh, my first post here. Finally it happened.
I hope all they spread was their holiday joy, & nothing else. Ew!!
ReplyDelete@ Jamie's Girl
ReplyDeleteNo where did I read the sex was unprotected and I doubt the stripper would consent to unprotected sex in that scenario. IMO.
I don't think it's Kobe only because the guy doesn't really have any friends.
I'm definitely getting a Laker vibe with this one. So, Kobe.
ReplyDeleteI think our new friend Bruno is on to something... great guess!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it a G-string of strippers? A lapdance of strippers?
ReplyDeleteI don't think it was Shaq. I follow him on Twitter,he didn't say anything about being in Vegas this weekend. Although, what happens in Vegas...
ReplyDeleteI immediately thought of the George Costanza desk from his Yankee office. The one with the built in hidden bed.
ReplyDeletePerhaps we can all chip in for Christmas?
"and finished spreading their holiday joy."
ReplyDeleteI took this to coincide with the saying "Spreading their seed".
didnt say vegas, and as a stripper here, i would have heard about it...shaq's peen is notoriously 2 small 2 show in fronta his boys...i think d wade...heard him and s have been havin issues 4 a while
ReplyDeleteAnybody but Kobe. He doesn't take 'em willingly.
ReplyDeleteDon't believe me? There's a HUGE file that the civil lawyers for the chick he DID rape have that proves otherwise......
^..^
Blech!
ReplyDeleteYeah, doubt it's Shaq, he was twittering all weekend, and given the way he twitters even about what he eats, I don't think he'd have been able to manage posting without mentioning a single thing related to Vegas.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yeah, it seems he and his wife are trying to get back together, he twitters about going to lunch with her and stuff like that too.
OOOOhhhh Samantha- You got the goods girlfriend, tell us more...
ReplyDeleteCarmelo Anthony? Just not sure if he is legally married. I know he was with some chick from MTV named LaLa and they have a son. He is pretty notorious for getting in trouble. I like the Kobe guess as well. I wouldn't put it past him.
ReplyDeleteEnty- (off topic from the blind, but not from your intro comments)
ReplyDeleteIf you really did go to college with Eva Whats-her-face, that would mean you spent some time down here in the Great State of Texas, if you are not a native (which I still think you are, you've just gotten out of the habit of saying y'all ;)). Because of this, you would have been introduced to the greatest ice cream on planet earth, and therefore, should know better than to refer to ANY ice cream other than Blue Bell! Shame on you!
I realize it's only distributed in what, 13 states (& yet, it's the 3rd best selling ice cream in the country...yay! Go Belle!), but I think if you've got the dough to buy FANTASTIC(and not cheap) shoes for your lady-friend, you could at least have a half-gallon (or 2 or 12) shipped out to you (side note: Pistacio Almond is out right now-my personal #2 fav).
Say, that'd be a great Christmas present, if she's never been exposed to "Blue Bell, the best ice cream in the country" (the line in quotes must be sung ;)...c'mon my fellow Texans: "We eat all we can, & we sell the rest. It's homemade, homemade down home! Blue Bell the best ice cream in the country; Blue Bell the best ice cream in the country" (insert yodel here :D))-for those who don't know, the "country" is Brenham, Texas (just outside Houston). I still have no clue how they make what is generally boring ol' vanilla, if you have any other brand, taste so darn good, but Homemade Vanilla will always be my fave Blue Bell flavor. Damn it, now I'm craving it-gotta go find a pint somewhere downtown at lunch. :D
Ok-sorry guys for the teeny tangent.
Texas, I don't think you'll ever get criticized for talking ice cream around here. Unless one of our trolls peeks out from under its bridge, but thankfully that seems to be happening a bit less lately. :) A bit of Minnesota pride from me - Schwan's was started here - home delivery of ice cream. Also, Haagen Dazs American franchises are headquartered in Minnesota. Not to mention a slew of REALLY good independent ice cream shops (Sebastian Joe's!) It's funny that for such a cold place, we are such ice cream connoisseurs. :)
ReplyDeleteBack on topic, I vote Kobe, 'cause a few days ago TMZ showed his wife with a new fur coat and some new bling, and I think it's common knowledge now that every time he cheats he has to buy her something really expensive.
I am from Colorado and we are home to Coors Beer and the Kobe Bryant rape charge. What an arrangement the Bryant's must have, he gets to cheat and she gets expensive gifts out of it.
ReplyDeleteHey, so I don't know if we ever answered the blind about the mom who wanted a crazy new name for her kid, and her husband was fed up with it, but I'm throwing Kelly Rutherford into the pit, her first son's name was Hermes.
ReplyDeleteBen & Jerry's was started in Vermont - MY home state! So there! :D
ReplyDeleteOT: Yellow Rose, are we speaking of the same Blue Bell, as in:
ReplyDelete'Blue Bell homemade ice cream, what a perfect way to say, have yourself a Blue Bell country day!'? (Or something to that effect, b/c it is for sure the best ice cream E.V.E.R!)
Starburst, I had thought about that before, especially now that she's pregnant again, but I still think it's Bronx Mowgli Wentz! Mom's name is Asslee and Dad's name is Pete and you name the baby after the your favorite book and possibly the burrough that the baby was conceived! (Or it could be Zuma Nesta Rock.)
ReplyDeleteBut Hermes is 3-years-old now, if I'm not mistaken. Of course she could name her new baby Chanel, Versace, Valentino, Escada, Burberry, Prada, Gucci, Pucci, Missoni (sp?), Kate Spade, Bendel or something in that vain! As long as she DOES NOT name that poor baby Dereon! lol
Princess-yup, I was talking about Blue Bell ice cream made in the "little" creamery in Brenham, Texas. "Belle" the Jersey cow is their mascot. Thanks for the slogan, or whatever you call it, that's another one I was trying to think of, but once "Blue Bell, the best ice cream in the country" got stuck in my head, it was useless trying to remember other taglines. :D My family only buys Blue Bell, and when I go over to my parent's house, they ALWAYS have AT LEAST 3-4 1/2 gallons in the freezers (one is always Homemade Vanilla & one is always Dutch Chocolate-the others are either favorites, or a new flavor that just came out) :)
ReplyDelete