Another one bites the romantic dust. Sure, it's no secret that lots of Hollywood movie stars require confidentiality contracts—from their house cleaners, their assistants, their cooks and, yes, sometimes, even their lovers. We've mentioned this before.
Heartless as it may seem, some folks can't even get close to getting off unless they feel they'll be protected from any morning-after spills to the tabloids, thanks to whichever partner they happened to hook up with. Not really such the shocker there, once you think about it. But what's truly unusual is who we're told has now used this cold-as-ice, fine-print safeguard, you'll never guess...
Yes, it's our very own beloved closet cutie, Toothy Tile!
Love it, he's not so dumb after all, eh? I remember Toothy back from when he was getting it on in West Hollywood parking lots, for any cop to see. In fact one did see, but, of course, the Tooth got off, thanks to his powerful reps—sheesh, so predictable. But now comes word that Toothy's not only stepping out on the B.F. (unless this was done with his approval, perchance?), but he's doing it smartly, like, every other bigass, closeted dude in town does—contracts to sign, in hand.
Nice one, Tooth! The publicist-powered group you hang with nowadays musta taught you a thing or two, eh?
Oh, and you want the dirt from the guy who took his very own confidentiality agreement in hand and spilled the deets just the same? It was all lovely, we're told...the kind of loveliness that grows on ya, if you catch my naughty drift.
Oh, and that Toothy has something in common with Ryan Gosling: Such a cool demeanor, you'd have no idea the fire burning down below. None.
It Ain't: Ryan Gosling, Shia LaBeouf, John Krasinski
Jake Gyllenhal is Toothy Tile ooohh and according to this he has an STD lololol
ReplyDeleteAre we sure this isn't Tom Cruise? And what's the Ryan Gosling reference?
ReplyDeleteHe said he got the herp from the girlfriend before Reese.....
ReplyDeleteWho got the herp? I'm really confused. I'm sure they all have that confidentiality agreement. At least it is not like Prince and Mike Tyson in having to talk to their psychologists about how they performed in bed.
ReplyDeleteliz, toothy is jake g. ted has been writing blinds about "toothy" for years.
ReplyDeleteconfusing tho that he mentions a b.f. but not the fake g.f.
eeeww....i hope ted isn't saying ryan gosling has herpes.
ReplyDeleteWhat's with Ted doing all of these updates on old bv peeps? Doesn't anyone new do anything awful these days?
ReplyDeleteI've always thought Ted C wanted everyone to think TT was Jake G but that in reality it's someone far less "exciting". I think Ted C is suggesting that TT is a lot more passionate than his outward demeanor would suggest. And I guess from the part before that, Ted is suggesting that TT is "well-endowed".
ReplyDeleteI think the Ryan Gosling mention is in reference to the fact that on other blogs, people are guessing that TT is RG. Most people are of the consensus it's Jake G. Seems weird though... can you imagine the scandal that would surround Reece if this was to break? She doesn't seem the sensationalist press type, particularly since her kids are involved.
ReplyDeleteDid Gosling hook up with Kiki Dunst?
ReplyDeleteNO..NO..Jake said he got the HERP from
ReplyDeleteKiki......
Rumor has it that Reese got it from Ryan (Phillippe, not Gosling) so it was no biggy that Jake had it too. I had heard he picked it up from Kiki too.
ReplyDeleteReese Witherspoon is Jake's beard.
ReplyDeleteNo risk of STD at all!
LOL
Reese is supposed to be pregnant according to some sources. Be interesting to see how Ted reacts to that, if true.
ReplyDeleteIf Jake is cheating on Austin (was that his name?) they have been together for a while, so maybe Toothy is craving excitement again. Sex in public places was the original turn-on.
if she has a c-section, we'll know why!
ReplyDeleteWow! I feel really left out,,,Reese has herpes???? And she has said she has it????
ReplyDeleteWhy would Ted say it wasn't John Krasinski? That's odd to throw out a name like that. Most people don't even know who he is!
ReplyDeleteHold on, Jake has actually admitted having herpes?? Definite downgrade in the hotness department if true...
ReplyDeleteJustin Timberlake was known to give out confidentiality agreements to people he slept with and the BF remark could be against Jessica Biel since she looks and acts like more of a man than Timberlake does.
ReplyDeleteme confused Lucy???
ReplyDeleteJohn Krasinski did a movie with Jake called Jarhead.
ReplyDeleteRyan and Kiki dated (ewww.
as for Shia LaBeouf don't know the connection yet.
I'm positive that Tom Cruise has already been notted as TT and Ted knows that everyone assumes it is Jake. The only other common guess who has not been specifically ruled out is Matthew McConawhatever.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to all that talk about Baby Tile? Jake and Austin were supposed to be adopting according to Ted.
My only problem with Ted is that he seems to be the only one who has info about this. It is unlikely that with all TT is supposed to have done that no other gossips or witnesses can confirm it. Whether Jake is Toothy Tile or not, it is obvious that Ted wants us to think he is.
Well...lots more people than you think have herpes, apparently. I read that something like 3 or 4 out of 5 people in NYC have it, so if you have lots of sex with lots of people, your odds if getting it are pretty good. Especially in a place like Hollywood, where everyone swaps partners all the time, and where so many are closeted. Shit, with stuff like this going on, a girl who sleeps with Jake Gyllenhaal would be LUCKY to get herpes and not AIDS!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't understand why, if you're gay, you just wouldn't come out. It's not like anyone is really fooled when an obviously gay person desperately protests that they're straight...why does anyone CARE who a person bangs behind closed doors? As long as you aren't shoving it in my face, and this goes for straight people too, then why the fuck should I care? WHY DO PEOPLE CARE SO MUCH? I mean, except for the interesting gossip part of it, it's pretty damn boring.
Does anyone REALLY expect any actor to be straight? I know I sure don't...I just act under the general principle that they're all gay (except Joaquin Phoenix, I would be devastated if he was gay), so I'm not shocked when they inevitably come out. It's just par for the course with those people, you know?
Also, if you are a beard for these women, do they expect you to ever sleep with them, like if they're bi or something? Because that's just fucking gross. I know I wouldn't want anything that's been in some dude's ass in MY vagina...or in any ass, for that matter. Not after the story I heard about that. No way. My mom knew a woman whose husband was cheating on her. He would go out and bang other chicks in the pooper, then come home and have sex with her without even showering, so she got some horrendous bacterial infection or something, they had to give her a hysterectomy, she almost died, and now she has to take pills for the rest of her life to ensure this disease doesn't spread and kill her. Pretty horrid, huh? So I wonder just what these beards are required to do, and if they ARE sleeping with these guys, I hope they are at least making them wash first. Ew.
Haha, sorry bout the damn novel :)
Liz-
ReplyDeleteAbout Tom Cruise...I thought I read somewhere that he was the former gay prostitute that had so much VD that the pus was actually seeping out of his pants. Of course, this was before he became famous. I can't remember where I read this, does anyone else remember this?
OMG! Could Toothy be Tom, that's who I always thought it was at first, cuz of that grin Tom always has, teeth almost smiling, I was sure it was him from the get go but everyone kept sake Jake and this would explain the baby when Ted said Toothy had a baby. Oh please, please let this be true.
ReplyDeleteThe list:
ReplyDeletePeople Ted Casablanca has excluded as Toothy Tile
As requested - Below is a list of people that Ted has ELIMINATED as possibly being Toothy Tile. People write him letters with guesses and he says no to some people, with hints sometimes. The only people he hasn't excluded are John Travolta and Jake Gyllenhaal, but JT does not fit the description, and Ted's hints consistently point to Jake G. We waited for a long time for Matthew McConaughey to be eliminated, and he finally has been. At a future time we will list all of Ted's blurbs about Toothy, and his hints that Toothy is Jake. One of us will get that together and post all of that at some point... stay tuned! In the meantime, we stand by our guess that Toothy Tile is Jake Gyllenhaal.
Ok so here is the list. Some of the guys on the list are from a thread I found on fanchitchat.com which discusses blind items as well. Thank you to those who contributed to that! The rest are from researching back into the Awful Truth and keeping up to date on the latest Toothy news. We update as needed, when Ted gives us a new name (one that isn't already on the list!)
*** TOOTHY TILE IS NOT: Tobey Maguire, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx, Orlando Bloom, Usher, Ben Affleck, Michael Vartan, Vin Diesel, Elijah Wood, Jared Leto, Julian McMahon, Justin Timberlake, Tom Cruise, Hayden Christensen, James Franco, Will Smith, Val Kilmer, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Chris Klein, Wentworth Miller, Chad Michael Murray, Zach Braff, Jesse Metacalfe, Lance Bass, Ricky Martin, Aaron Eckhart, Christian Bale, Josh Lucas, Josh Duhamel, Ben Mackenzie, Adam Brody, Ryan Cabrera, Topher Grace, Sean William Scott, Seth Green, Brandon Davis, Josh Hartnett, Rob Thomas, Joaquin Phoenix, Scott Speedman, Ronaldo, Danny Bonaduce, Isaiah Washington, Vince Vaughn, Dane Cook, Mario Lopez, Matthew Perry, Neil Patrick Harris, Ryan Reynolds, Matt Dillon, George Clooney, Clay Aiken, John Stamos, Harry Hamlin, David Schwimmer, Gerard Butler, Shane West, Adrian Grenier, Mike Myers, Harrison Ford, Don Cheadle, Homer Simpson, Carrot Top, Kenny Chesney, Shemar Moore, Queen Latifah, Andy Dick, Anderson Cooper, David Hyde Pierce, Mark Ruffalo, Owen Wilson, Bill Clinton, Ryan Gosling, Eric Balfour, Haley Joel Osment, David Spade, Hugh Jackman, Ashton Kutcher, 50 Cent, Brad Pitt, Kiefer Sutherland, Jeremy Piven, Wilmer Valderama, Joel McHale, Shia LeBeouf, Steven Weber, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Matt LeBlanc, Eddie Murphy, Dick Cheney, Heath Ledger, Spencer Pratt, George Eads, Matthew Broderick, John C. Reilly, Matthew McConaughey, Channing Tatum, Emile Hirsch, Chris Evans, Milo Ventimiglia, Viggo Mortensen, Hillary Clinton, Colin Farrell, Jennifer Garner, Liev Schrieber, Jason Lee, Mario Lopez, Daniel Craig, Tom Welling, David Duchovny, Denzel Washington, John Travolta, Emile Hirsch, John Krasinski.
(last updated 12/12/08)
The list is from blinditemsexposed.com
ReplyDeleteEveryone knows Toothy is Jake. It's just a matter of whether any of the bullshit is actually true.
ReplyDeleteIn 2005 Ted has these hints:
ReplyDelete"Chris Klein ain't Toothy, though I must say that's a fairly close guess."
(Not Ben Affleck): "(but) you are very close to the real semi-randy one--just think better hair (all his own) and a tad less brawn."
Not Matt Damon "but you are very close, pumpkin. Deliciously so."
"The correct cutie who's thinkin' about pulling an Anne Heche (before she decided she wasn't gay, that is) is right smack between Mr. (Orlando) Bloom and Mr. (Elijah) Wood."
"...ain't Tom Cruise. Way too established, as the correct cutie-patootie is much more of an up-and-comer in the movie-idol biz."
"Hayden Christiansen is not the correct homo rising star. But you are by far the closest gay snoop to date. Congrats."
Not Adam Brody: "Think more celebrated and certainly more photographed. Right age and looks though."
Not Ryan Cabrerra from Texas: "but you're also directly below, geographically speaking, where Mr. T.T. was born and now resides."
Jake Gyllenhaal was born in Los Angeles; Ted hints here that Toothy Tile was born in a state above Texas.
Brad Pitt and James Marsden were born in Oklahoma.
ReplyDeleteDo you know that James Marsden is not on that list above?? Except that he's been married since 2000.
Something's not accurate about Ted's hints.
Here's what bugs me about these comments about Paris and Ryan and Jake and Reese and "the herp".
ReplyDeleteHaving herpes means you've had sex. Period.
It doesn't mean you don't wash. It doesn't mean you have sex with gross people. It doesn't mean you have sex with LOTS of people. It doesn't even mean, necessarily, that you've had unprotected sex (condoms reduce transmission risks, they don't eliminate them).
Having herpes just means you have had, at least once, sex. With a person.
It pisses me off to see people who have herpes all stigmatized and assumed about--just because they actually WENT to the doctor and FOUND OUT they had herpes, as opposed to the 60% of herpes carriers who still don't know that they have it.
Herpes isn't awesome, but it also isn't anyone's *fault*. You can be mad at someone for passing on herpes *knowingly*, but that's different. Don't blame someone for *having* it.
I've heard you can give it to yourself!!! Like, if you have a cold sore, touch it, then accidentally spread it to the genitals when going to the restroom or something.
ReplyDeleteWho has herp? And from whom? It's all speculation, IMO.
ReplyDeleteFor TT, my money's on Matthew McC. A couple of weeks after Matthew's kid was born, Ted said TT had a kid, as in a family. He didn't say hidden kid. Jake doesn't have kids.
IIRC, the current stats are that 20% of the population or 1 in 5 people has genital herpes, and at least 90% of us have oral herpes, aka cold sores; supposedly the increased popularity of oral sex has also resulted in a lot of (for want of a better term) cross-pollination. You certainly don't have to be a slut of any stripe to get it, and as pointed out earlier, most people who have it don't know it AND safe sex won't always prevent it. In other words, isn't it time to stop stigmatizing people with herpes? Yes, it sucks, and nobody wants it, but there are definitely worse things to pick up. If you know you have it, don't take any kind of real precautions, and don't tell your partner, and you pass it along, though, you're a scumbag. And no, I don't have it, but I have friends who do, so please don't rag on people with it, OK?
ReplyDelete...well, except for Paris Hilton. ;-)
Johnny depp was born in Kentucky and is not on the Ain'ts list!!!
ReplyDeleteSay it isn't so!!!
i am 99% sure it is jake, but there is one clue about a college education that does not match up, i'm trying to find it.
ReplyDeleteoh my.
ReplyDeletebrenda, generally speaking, herpes simplex is the type that pops up on your lip. it IS possible to get the other type of herpes orally, but it results in (i believe) white sores in the throat and mouth. basically, the kind of herpes we're talking about likes dark, moist environments. two different viruses. that's a real common mistake, and if you were being sarcastic, i apologize profusely!
@dan:
no, everybody does NOT know toothy is jake g. i've always said i am NOT 100%.
there's a new poster on here that makes me think it must me christmas vacation already. anybody else feeling that?
it might be helpful for those who are still guessing who toothy tile might be, to check out this toothy tile site and go through the archived blind items. you'll see where 98% of the population has arrived at it being jake g.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.toothytile.com/
this is to SmokeYourselfThin:
ReplyDeleteI agree! and I'd like to add, that I think most males in Hollywood swing both ways and it's just accepted as the "norm"....
OMG Bunny! I remember a friend of mine in high school had white sores in her mouth and throat. She showed us. She didn't know what the hell it was. (Literally days after she graduated from Grade 12 she got married.)
ReplyDeleteKills me this toothy phenomenon has its own website! LOL!
At some point Ted said that Toothy was the same age as Adam Brody....
ReplyDeletewhich means he was born 1978-1981
Adam Brody: 12/15/79
Jake G.: 12/15/80....
August 4, 2005
Dear Ted:
I think One Confused Blind Vice's Toothy Tile is Adam Brody from The O.C. He has Rachel Bilson, and he's up and coming.
Helen
Canada
Dear Canadian Fakin':
You got that right, sweet stuff, but from what I hear, A.B.'s just up and comin' with R.B., not a handsome young dude. Think more celebrated and certainly more photographed. Right age and looks though.
oops! I meant to put 12/19 as Jakes bday..
ReplyDeletethere's other stuff that can cause white sores, lol!
ReplyDeleteall i'm sayin' is i'm not ONE HUNDRED percent. that's all. i like to give folks the benefit of the doubt!
except for tom cruise. he gets no benefit of anything.
production girl, thnx for posting that clue.
ReplyDeletebionic bunny - hee! on the tc remark.
if you have food allergies, you can get cankor sores all over your mouth if you're eating citrus or citric anything and you have an allergy to it. there's another reason you can have white sores in your mouth.