I can think of about a million ways I would rather spend my time than talking about Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan. Alas, I have a gossip blog and sometimes it just becomes necessary. At least I can have some fun with it. Before I do so though, can I say that when I read that Paris Hilton has two cars that each cost over $500K, I nearly threw up. To think she has that much disposable income is pretty disgusting because, we as humans have made it possible somehow for her to acquire enough money to get them.
You probably read yesterday that Paris broke up with Benji Madden and made sure the world knew it when her spokespeople released a statement. That's twice for Benji in one year. Plus now, all the ladies he dates will be wondering if Paris gave him a special present. I love how in the statement Paris says she is still madly in love with him. The only person Paris is madly in love with is herself. Everyone else just worships at her altar.
Then I read about how Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight because of Calum Best. So, I came up with the perfect solution. Calum goes back to his hookers and his fake celibacy show while Paris and Samantha hookup and Lindsay and Benji hookup. That way all four get to stay in the public eye, and a new round of stories can come out whether Paris is a lesbian and whether Lindsay will follow in Nicole Richie's footsteps and have a baby with a Madden brother. Of course, I will be disgusted with the whole thing, but still mention it all in passing and the tabloids will have new stories to sell for the next few months.
You think its crazy, but Samantha can help Paris with her singing career. Lindsay can go out on the road with Good Charlotte and Michael Lohan can try and step in and become everyone's manager. Oh, and Ali and Dina get caught on tape with Calum Best. It's like a win/win for the entire tabloid world.