I promise that if you read this post there will be no startling image of Verne Troyer having sex, but I can't promise you that you won't be scarred for life by what I am about to share with you. I need to share it with you though. You need to know the truth. Also, because I read it, I don't want to be the only one suffering in misery.
For some reason, only known to her, the fine people in the UK were subjected early in the morning to Mariah Carey on the radio. While she was speaking, Nick was on the floor scraping her corns. I know, I know but that isn't the chilling part. While she was on the program This Morning she started discussing how she came to write the lyrics to the song Hero.
Umm, she was in the bathroom. "Aww. Enty that's sweet she was in the bathtub." Umm. No. Turns out she was actually using the facilities so to speak. An assistant standing patiently outside the door waiting with silk baby wipes was there. While she was sitting there she came up with the idea for the song. Now, one could speculate how she managed to get hero out of something she was doing in the bathroom, but fortunately the title was because of the film Hero. I shudder to think how long she sat there. I don't even need to know any of this, but she thought it would fascinate the listeners while they were eating breakfast.
"And then a hearo comes aloooNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG...with the strength to....carry ONNNNNNNNNNNNN".
ReplyDeleteI mean, things can get pretty philosophical in the bathroom at times, but this takes the biscuit.
Now we know why she sounded like crap when she sang it on that recent X Factor show? Okay, bad joke, I know.
ReplyDeleteToo many tributes have already made that song a stinker for me. (oh, the puns...)
Nick was scraping her corns? Is this for real?--Mariah would never have corns on her delicate feet--no way.
ReplyDeletei wished she would have offered up a courtesy flush for us nonfans.
ReplyDeletethe music industry is a crapshoot afterall.
but of course it would fascinating to listeners while they ate breakfast...seriously, who doesn't want to know every little thing about her....good God...
ReplyDeleteoh, come on enty, connect the dots, will ya? she started thinking of herself and what a hero she is for employing people to wipe her ass and tada! a song was born while she was on the throne.
ReplyDeleteHow many fresh towels were in there?
ReplyDeletemaybe she's referring to the assistant as the hero. I mean, jeez, that's a pretty Herculean task.
ReplyDelete"An assistant standing patiently outside the door waiting with silk baby wipes was there."
ReplyDeleteThis part is a joke right? If it isn't why the hell didn't she bring the damn wipes in the toilet herself?
I used to really admire her talent now I'm slowly loosing my respect for her.
Did anyone else see her performance on X Factor? She was awful!
Wasn't her 15 minutes up about, oh, 5 years ago? Who cares how many octaves she can sing in - her music is CRAP! Not to mention she's a prima-donna AW. I don't see how this is worthy of any mention besides in The Sun.
ReplyDeleteif sitting on your ass firing one in the hole can somehow inspire you to create something that will earn you millions of dollars eventually then i am all for it. did you guys see the guy on dlisted who is trying to sell his idea of a vibrating toilet seat? you sit on the thing and press a button and it fucking vibrates! we need to alert mariah posthaste. think of the dozens of songs just waiting to materialize, ummmm, on the other hand, dont inform her.
ReplyDeleteit explains how she hits the high notes... popping out a doody bubble.
ReplyDeleteDN, you took the words right out of my mouth! So Ent, forever burned into your retina is the image of Pariah wildly clutching the walls on either side of her, bracing herself, going woo-woo-WOOOOO-wooo? Because that's what's working for me.
ReplyDelete