Did you see Minnie Driver on Ellen? Me either. But, I did see Minnie on The Graham Norton Show which if you have not seen you really must. I don't make you do much or ask you to do much, but when I do I rarely steer you wrong. Sure, there was that time I told you it was safe to eat cracked mussels and that leaving mayo out for five days in the sun doesn't matter, but this time, I mean it, you should watch the show. Of course, most of you probably have things to do on Saturday night and so you are not at home watching it. I, on the other hand try not to even move on Saturday nights.
Anyway, the point of all this was Minnie was about 6 months pregnant at the time she was on Graham's show and she said there was no way on earth she was ever going to get pregnant again. She said she disliked it immensely in that proper accent of hers of course. So, then after she has the baby and two months go by, now she is on Ellen saying it was wonderful and amazing and she already wants to get pregnant again. I know you will tell me that women forget the pain. See, I don't buy that part, because no one forgets pain. You go to the dentist and get your wisdom teeth yanked out, you feel it. No one is saying I can't wait to do that again unless you are Bill Murray in Little Shop Of Horrors. Reached for that one didn't I?
So, it must be something else, and I'm thinking all of you are just the people to tell me.
She didn't say she wants to get pregnant again, she said she wants another baby. "I want another one of them," is what she said.
ReplyDeletewhen you're pregnant it feels like it's taking for-fucking-ever to get through the pregnancy and you don't see the payback. then you have the baby and really do think it's sooooooo worth all the bullshit you have to go through. it isn't just a matter of forgetting pain...with today's drugs the pain is minimal. it's that what you have to go through to get this amazing little miracle is well worth it and once you see it, you realize that. it really is that simple, enty.
ReplyDeletedon't tell anyone but I think women who are pregnant look exceedingly pretty. I promise I'm not a weirdo
ReplyDeleteits not as though you forget the pain, but while you are going thru it it just feels like its never going to end but then it does and its wonderful. So great that you realize that you would do it again because it does end and it does get better.
ReplyDelete/end of sap
I love, love, LOVE Graham Norton. Out here in the boonies, we don't get BBC America any more, and I miss it horribly. (We also don't have to pay for the cable, because the system is so old no one can tell we have it hooked up illegally, so I guess I can be thankful.) I also miss Top Gear and Little Britain.
ReplyDeleteAnd being six months pregnant is rough. You're sooo ready to get it over with. But the same hormones that make you gag at the sight of a fried egg are also the ones that make you feel so incredibly connected to this little tiny alien who's been spending the last nine months in your belly. Seeing that little human, and realizing that they are a little ball of unconditional love, and that you are responsible for making them into a successful adult can bring on lots of emotions. Some people decide that one is more than enough responsiblity for them. Others just can't get over that baby love, and end up wanting to have more and more.
I have mentioned my sister before, but she is a case of the latter. One unintended pregnancy not only started her marriage, but also started her love of being a mom. Now she's six kids deep (and maybe in over her head).
Go figure.
preggo sux....babies rock...
ReplyDeletejust that easy. i was on bedrest my whole pregnancy, and it was the worst. but i'd do it again in a heartbeat...when i'm in the position to...because the end result is like nothing else in this world. my little boy is worth all the pain and uncomfort i went through my whole pregnancy
I have a picture that my husband took of me when I was pregnant with both of my children. I swear to you, I may have felt like a puffed up inflatable pool toy, but those pictures are 2 of my favorites. When my father passed away, in his office wasa number of pics of me and my hubby, my sis, the grandkids, and then those pics and one of my sis from many years when she was preg with my niece. His coworker told me you know, your dad always said that yall looked so pretty when you were pregnant. Funny how all the gas, labor pains, stretch marks and baby weight I am trying to lose after the birth of my youngest 6 years ago, does not matter now.
ReplyDeleteThere's something about babies and kids that just pulls at some unnamed part of me. Like, literally, I can feel this tug in my chest when I hold my kids. And it just gets more bittersweet every time your brain has this little leap "Oh my God, she's growing up! I'm going to lose her soon!"
ReplyDeleteI had two natural childbirths, first 24 hours, and the second 13, and they hurt terribly. I had gestational diabetes and had to inject insulin daily and five times a day prick my finger to test my blood sugar, along with a strict diet that's just cruel to pregnancy cravings. I had nausea/sickness so badly I lost 20 lbs with my second, and was put on Reglan (anti-nausea med also used for chemo patients). I was put on bed rest for the last month of my pregnancy (btw, the whole Timmy/Shimmy thing kept me from going crazy at that time...). I was so big and heavy, it hurt to stand up/sit down/lay. My first child was colicky for 8 months, and never slept. I was insane with postpartum depression and had no help whatsoever from any other human being.
I would do it again in a heartbeat. It satisfies a part of my soul that no man, job, purchase or accomplishment ever has. Sometimes I hated being pregnant. I won't lie and say I forgot the pain (next time, I'll get an epidural fo sho). But it's totally worth it.
Between my last month of pregnancy and then the labor, I told my hubby if he ever came near me again I was going to chop the damn thing off. Then 2 years later I was pregnant again and hubby was still in tact. Funny how we are willing to go thru something so painfull more than once. I am not going to hold this statement against her, it makes total sense to me.
ReplyDeletejesse, i remember when you were still pregnant!!! a couple of you were expecting at the same time. seems like yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI don't have babies, nor do I feel any overwhelming desire to have them. But, if my husband gets his way and it does happen, I'll be sure to let you know.
ReplyDeletepregnacy can suck.......babies are cute....then they hit teen years and you wonder what the hell you were thinking ...THE END
ReplyDeletei guess from what i've heard is...the pain is worth it.
ReplyDeletei'm still on the breeder fence.
You can say something like that in the UK and not worry about any media fallout. In the US, she'd have a scarlet "M" forcibly tattoed on her forehead and told to kiss her career good-bye. Babies are sacred in America.
ReplyDeleteI've heard the baby changes everything....
ReplyDeleteHormones and actually having the baby!
ReplyDeleteI'm about 5 1/2 months into my first pregnancy right now. It's definitely uncomfortable and I am dreading the pain of childbirth...but I'm sure it will all be worth it when I finally get to hold the little one.
ReplyDeleteFrom the above posts, I'd say you've gotten a satisfactory response.
ReplyDeleteNo baby yet, I would like to be married first and feel finacially ready. But even then only one.
ReplyDeleteI was one of those women who LOVED being pregnant. I loved the whole nine months, did 36 hours of unmedicated labor that hurt, but nothing I couldn't handle and then ended up with a c-section because the little bugger's head was just too big.
ReplyDeleteIf I had all of the money in the world and could have housework help and didn't have to work, I would have a dozen kids. As it is, I have one, and that is going to be it.
At the risk of sounding like a friggin Hallmark commercial - I loved feeling my body full of baby, I loved feeling like I was doing what I was "supposed" to do as a woman. I always wanted to be a mom, since I was a little girl. The pain was a non-issue, but I was not afraid of it and I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so maybe that helped. Tell you what though...when I did get the spinal for the c-section I wanted to kiss the anesthesiologist on the lips because by then I was tired of feeling anything. :)
People ARE allowed to change their minds, ENTY.
ReplyDeleteYou are trying to make her out to be a hypocrit but you can't hold a pregnant woman to anything they say while they're pregnant.
Get over it and quit making stuff up just to get some gossip thrown out on your site. Geez.
You really DO forget the intensity of the pain. You remember that it really really really hurt, but, if a woman loves babies and wants one, she'll go through it again. We are heroes, Enty, that's just the way it is!
ReplyDeletelabor and delivery RN here. yes, women do forget the worst parts once the baby is here. they fall in love. it cancels out everything. she was probably having a bad day when she said that stuff---back pain, bloating, swollen feet, mourning the loss of her waistline, etc.
ReplyDeletebut once she had that baby, it was all worth it. that's how it works. childbirth is a unique 'painful' experience in that way. the payoff just wipes out the pain (for MOST people.)
if this weren't true, we'd all be only children.
I had my daughter 8 years ago, had massive blood loss, almost required a transfusion, but an easy pregnancy and birth.. I don't remember "PAIN" per se, but I do remember, lots of blood and vomiting and passing out all because of a "fluke".. Hhmm.. No, don't remember Pain, but I remember all that.. so I'm good being a single mom to ONE perfect kid... Fluke.. LOL coulda been a great name/reminder... LOL
ReplyDeleteOne kid - born 18.5 years ago.
ReplyDelete19.5 hours of unmedicated labor and natural delivery. Drug-free. Not underwater - no Lemasse (sp?).
It hurt like a motherfucker. I hated being pregnant, too - except for the no period part. 6 months of morning sickness, then bloat and tired. My daughter was so long (22.5 inches at birth) that her feet would get caught up under my ribs. Horrible. When she finally come out, no instant bonding - no "it was worth it!" Just exhaustion and fairly angry at her dad.
That being said - and I definitely remember the pain - I am devastated to know that despite years of trying, I can never do it again.
One kid is all.
One great fucking kid.
My bff had a torturous pregnancy (gestational diabetes) and a horrible labor (over two days long, finally ending in a c-section). She remembers perfectly well just how awful it was, but she's decided it's worth doing again to get another one. Plus, she wised up this time and did some bargaining with her husband. Having a once-a-week housekeeper is the least a preggers lady deserves. :)
ReplyDeleteShe could have just been having a bad day the day she said it was horrible. One too many trips to the bathroom, or her stomache rejecting something she had just been craving. And sometimes after you have had the baby you just forget all that other stuff when you look at the prize that you got in the end.
ReplyDeleteI've never given birth (and don't intend to), but my friend who has two kids told me that there's a biological basis for women 'forgetting' the pain from giving birth. She said that almost immediately after the baby is delivered, but body release a complex series of hormones which play a role in the forgetting.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else know anything about this?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kids (all 4) and I only had pain through one of the births but the last pregnancy was HELL and NO, I would not ever do it again. His birth was easy as hell but the pregnancy itself? The worst thing I think I have ever felt.
ReplyDeleteAs for forgetting? No sir, not in MY case. My second delivery was sheer hell, I thought I was going to die. I was blacking out from the pain so bad that my blood pressure dropped and I had to be revived. It was too far in for tem to give me any meds for the pain so I had to ride it through. It didn't stop me from having two more babies but I certainly did not forget..
This was a good post though, a great question. Its interesting to learn of others experiences.
Let me preface this by saying that I love my children. Having said that - dear lord what a friggin' train wreck it was being pregnant. The labor is actually the easiest part simply because you're so relieved to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Getting those two girls out of my body were the best two days of my life.
ReplyDeleteIt's actually refreshing to hear someone telling it like it is instead of the endless "I was so fulfilled,it was a glorious tribute to womanhood, I never felt so much like a woman ....blah...blah,,,,blah". What a bunch of dribble.
Yeah, like I feel real girly when I can't see my feet and my belly's sitting on my lap for the last 5 months?
Trust... Parents are willing to go through more painful things than labor for their children. Moms AND Dads.
ReplyDeleteI am 5 months pregnant right now. It would be nice for it to be over, and I'm not even that uncomfortable at this stage, just drained of energy. I'm just really excited to have the kid - and a beer would be nice. REALLY nice. :)
ReplyDeleteDisclaimer: I'm a gay man and will never have a child or father one. Nor do I want to.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I've always considered my best friend's daughter to be my niece - when she announced she was pregnant, I literally became an emotional wreck. On the one hand, she was too young, the soap opera that was her life didn't need to be bringing another cast member into it, things like that...and on the other hand, OMG, I'm gonna be a grandpa (at least until she can understand I'm Unca Merlin anyway), I'm gonna have a little one to spoil absolutely rotten, I'm gonna have someone to take to Disney World who won't complain about going and above all else, I've got someone who will let me see the beauty of this world through innocent eyes again.
So yeah, I do understand something (by proxy only) of the dichotomy of pregnancy - it's hell to go through but the end result is absolutely worth it.
Personally, I also think that women undergo selective amnesia about the whole thing - after they have the baby, sooner or later, they start thinking, y'know, little (insert name) should have a brother/sister - and the pregnancy/delivery wasn't *that* bad - as a matter of fact, I'm watching a coworker go through that internal discussion right now - I've got an internal pool going on when she'll announce her pregnancy.
My first pregnancy was not good. I lost a twin and hemorrhaged twice. She was a month and a half early with under-developed lungs. I was asked while going into delivery if a class of student nurses could watch and I said sure (i wasn't thinking about anything except having that baby) As soon as I saw her I fell in love with her.
ReplyDeleteMy second pregnancy was just as complicated but he was 3 weeks late (and has never been on time in all of his 20 years). When they brought him to me in my room I just didn't feel the same as I had with my daughter. When the nurse was leaving my room she called me by a different name and, after checking the bracelet, found he wasn't mine. When they brought my little guy in and I held him, he just fit and I loved him instantly. Everything is forgotten when you look into their eyes from that first moment
I have NEVER had a kid & never will. If she has gone thru that & is willing to do it again then I'm attributing it to.....crack addiction. Crack-heads have no memory, so that must be it! 'Nuff said.
ReplyDeletePregnant once - didn't take and now I am a chemical equivalent to Chernobyl [kidney transplant and both anti-rejection drugs I am on are "Black Box"]. But - I would think -even after my experience with 24/7 morning sickness for three months, intense bone pain in my pelvis, aching boobs and just generally feeling like I wanted to die - to come out the other end of that with a child .. I would probably have been willing to try again if that opportunity had ever presented itself. It never did .. so I don't know for sure. But as I sit here now .. thinking about it .. yes.
ReplyDeletewomen's minds are biologically trained to forget the pain, otherwise a whole lot of us would never perpetrate our species!!
ReplyDeleteIt's the baby. Falling in love with your baby on contact - your brains scramble and it was all worth it.
ReplyDeletei read all of your comments and you all put a smile on my face. i have massage many many pregnant women in my job as a massage therapist and i have to tell you i have seen a lot of what pregnancy can do and how it ravages the body but i will tell you they all gave off the same kinda vibe i felt when i read all your comments. i cant describe it but it feels like nature at its most comforting. Pregnant woman are doing something so base and pure it is a wonderful thing to be a part of. I am 25, i dont have kids, but the idea has sat with me and one day i would love to adopt or give birth and experiance even one tenth of what you all are discribing.
ReplyDeletei hated being pregnant. every single little minute of it. well, at least my second pregnancy.
ReplyDeletemy first was just like, a comedy of errors. I mean, really, I had the zaniest shit happen to me.
my second, i was on bedrest for like, ever. i went into preterm labor at 20 weeks. FUNSTUFFS.
I'll never forget that. or the hyperemesis. Not to mention I have kidney disease. The first thing fetii attack? kidneys. Hooray for hypertension! Hooray for ending up with hydronephrosis because my daughter wanted to use my ureter as a pillow.
I think my doctors would disown me if I got pregnant again. At one of my appts, doc asked "so...what are you using for bc" and i'm like...abstinence? and he goes "that only works if you use it 100% of the time. How about condoms?" they're for sailors!!!
and the look on his face was like...please don't get pregnant again! but he then realized I was joking.
***It's actually refreshing to hear someone telling it like it is instead of the endless "I was so fulfilled,it was a glorious tribute to womanhood, I never felt so much like a woman ....blah...blah,,,,blah". What a bunch of dribble.****
ReplyDeleteLike I said, I am weird. I have seen I am in the vast minority. I was not uncomfortable except the last ten days or so when I was overdue. I really felt great and energized the whole time. I must have had super happy hormones or something or just been one of those women born to be pregnant because I honestly would LIVE pregnant if I were guaranteed it could be like that all of the time.
That said - I know pregnancies are vastly different, and I have only had one. If I had a second, it might suck ass. :)
After having 3 long horrible pregnancies. I can see why she would say she wouldn't go thru it again. But after the birth of each one of mine, the pain, the pregnancy pains, I knew I could do it again. Having a new baby is magical. It is beautiful. And especially when you see your beautiful baby, you want another to join the group. Adding a sibling just brings more joy. Watching them play, interact. Of course I couldn't say I wanted another for a year after each birth. But....
ReplyDeleteJoAnn
Kid number one was 26 hours of back labor. Second kid was 17 hours of back labor. Have a 300 lb person jump on your lower back while you are trying to crap a watermelon. That is what childbirth felt like. With an epidural. The first kid cracked my tailbone when it came out.
ReplyDeleteAfter 10 years I haven't forgotten any of it.
Yes, they are worth it but never fucking again.
It's kind of incredible how many different experiences are on this blog alone. We're like a little micro-cosmos at CDAN.
ReplyDeleteI watched "The Business Of Being Born" a little while back, and it made me feel a little bit more positive towards childbirth. I'm still not sure it's for me, but I recommend the movie.
I agree with xyz. I had only one, but it was a doozy. Not as bad as xyz, but enough that though I wanted another child, I did not want to be pregnant again (but would have done so if the mate would have agreed). So we've settled for one--couldnt' be happier.
ReplyDelete