American Music Awards Report

There’s nothing celebrities enjoys more than lavish affairs celebrating their greatness. Exhibit A: the American Music Awards. Fortunately for myself and about 200 other star stalkers, lots of celebs can’t sit for more than 10 minutes without running to the bathroom to “powder their nose” and thus, every ceremony needs some seat fillers. This is how I, thanks to my ravishing good looks and “trendy hollywood club attire” (the seatfilling company’s words, not mine) fashion sense, found myself seated among the stars on a Sunday afternoon for the 2008 AMA’s.

Christina Aguilera’s opening of the show had been much hyped by a friend who had seen her in rehearsals, but unfortunately, it was as rough as she’s been looking lately. Started off GREAT: singing the first verse of “Beautiful” acapella. But, dear readers, that was where the greatness began and ended. As soon as she launched into a medley of her dance hits, she seemed to forget how to do two things at once. She was so focused on her dancing that I heard her sing maybe 3 words and a few “oh oh”’s throughout the rest of the performance….she even forgot some of the words to Genie in a Bottle. I’m sure this was covered up for TV viewers by the backing track but this is the beauty of being a seat filler: you get to see what really goes on.

After an AWESOME performance by New Kids on the Block and a bizarre and clearly drug fueled monologue by Scott Weiland I FINALLY pushed a teenage girl out of my way and managed to escape the seat fillers holding area for a place among the action. Though I was not seated next to any celebrities, I did have a nice view of Chris Brown, Jamie Foxx, David Archuleta (who should really consider a career as a Keebler Elf should this whole singing thing not take off), Taylor Swift, and Wu-Tang Clan.
Though I did not notice them when I first sat down, Daughtry and his band were seated to my left. I had noticed that someone in that vicinity was being a little loud and obnoxious but these are rock stars (and I use that term loosely) so, whatever. When the Jonas Brothers took the stage I realized just WHO was being so annoying when Chris Daughtry jumped out of his chair and started mocking the boys by imitating their dancing in the aisle by his seat. Dude, Chris, can I call you Chris?, I get it. Really I do. I think those boys are three of the luckiest teenagers on the planet given that they have NO talent and always sing off key live, but really? Need I remind you that you were discovered on a reality show? It seems someone had indulged in one too many of something before he came into the awards show and continued his comedy act until his band members yelled at him and physically pulled him back into his seat.

The show continued and I noticed an odd trend happening over in Chris Brown’s vicinity. At every commercial break Chris was out of his seat and over talking to Jamie Foxx. Rihanna stayed where she was, talking to those around her. No big deal really. But it was definitely more than coincidence or excitement when they both went up to receive their second, and for Chris Brown, third, awards and there was absolutely no acknowledgement of the other person. No hugs, no thank you’s, they didn’t even look in their “significant other’s” direction before they went up to make their speeches. My interest piqued by this behavior I went and looked at pictures from the event and while most celebs had at least one picture with their date if they had brought one along, Rihanna and Chris? All the pictures of them on the red carpet are solo. And not near each other which means they arrived separately. Could the rumors of a Chris Brown/Rihanna/Kanye West love triangle be true?

Speaking of Kanye, as cocky as he can be (AND HE CAN BE COCKY!!!!), he did give a killer performance. Annie Lennox blew everyone away when she performed her hit, “Why” accompanied only by candle light and her piano. I hope that some of the other performers, ahem, Jonas Brothers, were humbled by her performance as she reminded everyone in the auditorium what a real musician looks, and sounds, like.

However, the moment I knew would be most appreciated by CDAN readers, knowing Enty’s dislike for this celebrity couple as we do, came at the beginning of Mariah Carey’s performance. When the lights came up, Mariah was on some sort of pedestal that turned slowly around to face the audience. There was a guy waiting for Mariah to help her down from her pedestal and yes, you guessed it, it was Nick Cannon. This was his SOLE function in the performance, to take her hand and escort her down three stairs. Then he walked off the stage. What, were all the PA’s busy helping Julianne Hough apply her 56th coat of spray tan? I half expected him to come back out on stage with his nail file and get to work on her corns while she finished singing. Somebody might be finding a little bonus in their allowance this week!

Though I have just spent paragraphs on all the snark and low points of the evening, all in all I thought the show was great. Being able to be there and see so many great performers all under the same roof was awesome. The only thing that could’ve made the night perfect was if the Jonas Brothers went home empty handed. Maybe next year…..