Monday, October 27, 2008

Tough Day Today


It is tough to do snark sometimes. Today is one of those days. I know all of you are thinking about Jennifer Hudson's nephew and family as am I. Plus, there are some other things going on that just make snark a little tough. Tomorrow, I will be back and ready to go with more, but for today, I need a break.

84 comments:

  1. everybody needs a break now and then, take your time...

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  2. sigh..ya somedays...you wonder why you even bothered getting up.

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  3. i think we're all on the same wavelength, enty.

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  4. Time for a CDaN group hug.

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  5. Anonymous1:00 PM

    I am confuse. Whose husband did this killing?

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  6. sylvia, they're not sure yet, but they think it's jennifer's sisters estranged husband.

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  7. Anonymous1:02 PM

    Ah, you still cranked it out today EL, no excuses needed.

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  8. Anonymous1:07 PM

    Ent take a little break. Put someone else in charge for a day or two.

    Even when you had a week in Vegas you were still writing. Even bloggers need a vacation.

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  9. better yet, don't put someone else in charge and just keep up the same posts for a few days. nobody is going to die if the blog isn't updated.

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  10. Enty, you take your time. Everyone needs to take a breather now and then. We'll be here when you get back :D

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  11. Ugh, this is such a horrible story...I can't even imagine what that family must be going through at the moment.

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  12. I can't imagine the fear this poor boy felt--he probably witnessed everything.
    I hope that justice will be served, so the family can rest in peace.

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  13. you do what you need to do.

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  14. Anonymous1:27 PM

    molly thanks for the info :D

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  15. sylvia, you're welcome.

    the police just announced that they've informed the family that the body found was julian king. we knew that though, didn't we?

    i hope they find out who did it quickly and the moron fries.

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  16. here's a link:

    http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2008/10/a-boys-body-found-in-vehicle-on-west-side.html

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  17. And I genuinely thought somehow they'd find the little guy safe and sound ....
    Yeah I agree, a CDaN group hug is in order.

    Have good break Enty and if possible maybe take a little bit more time off than just today.

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  18. Enty, go get yourself a warm cafe mocha, a comfy afghan blankie and lie down on your couch and watch a Cary Grant/Katherine Hepburn movie, and feel better. :-)

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  19. My big bear, no need to apologize we are all here with you, these last couple of days have been really tragic but it is through adversity that we find strength.

    Jennifer and her family are definitely in my thoughts and prayers as are you big guy, so keep being the wonderful snarky stud you are lol!

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  20. So sad. My thoughts are with her.

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  21. Lisa said...
    Enty, go get yourself a warm cafe mocha, a comfy afghan blankie and lie down on your couch and watch a Cary Grant/Katherine Hepburn movie, and feel better. :-)

    Or a Kay kendall or Alice Brady movie :-)
    Sorry - had to say it :-)

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  22. I hear you Ent. *hug

    This is so horrific - peace to Jennifer and her family.

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  23. As someone who recently lost a child (Sept 22), my heart goes out to The Hudson family. I could never understand when my daughter died why people continuously said 'I'm sorry for your loss' or 'There's a reason for everything', but being on the other side of the fence now, I realize that it's the only thing someone can do. Be strong, Hudson family. It may be the darkest time of your lives right now, but there's light at the end of the tunnel.

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  24. Oh, Carrie, I'm so sorry. Losing a child is the single worst thing that can happen to a person.

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  25. And I agree with April - take a few days break if you want to. You've more than earned it!

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  26. Carrie--I am so sorry about your loss. My thoughts are with you.

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  27. {{{{carrie}}}} i'm so sorry!! what a terrible thing to have to endure. i hope you're getting through your pain, too. sending some prayers and good thoughts your way.

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  28. Take as much time as you need. When it's one of those days, do whatever you need to take care of yourself.

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  29. It's a very very sad day. The South Side was the Wild West when I left Chicago 20 years ago and I guess it has just gotten worse.

    This is what pisses me off so much when a certain political party gets all snarky about the importance of community organizers. People like that go into places like the South Side and really do try to help eliminate the violence by teaching peace and conflict resolution other than killing. They work to keep young men out of gangs and out of jail.

    I really hope that a positive from this horrific situation will be the renewed effort to keep young men away from gangs, violence and teach them a new way of dealing.

    Til then, I hope Jennifer Hudson and her surviving family will be able to heal and find comfort that they have a resolution. I cannot imagine a worse fate than wondering forever where your beloved child is. And how horrifying is that? The silver lining is they found the child. : (

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  30. I wonder how many of these killing do we NOT hear about because the relatives are not famous?
    Not to take away anything from the grief that Jennifer and her family are experiencing now - but even our own Carrie has lost a child.
    My fear is that this is happening way more often than we know.
    It truly has depressed me ever since Friday pm.

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  31. farmgirl, tons. none of the neighbors who heard the gunshots even called the police because they said they hear them all the time. most of the time these stories don't even make the news. this one might have because it was a triple murder, but there just isn't enough space to dedicate to every incident where innocent people are murdered. that says something about our society and it isn't good.

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  32. i want to express my sympathy regarding this situation, but i do think that we all will get an unexpected twist coming up. that's all i want to say right now. something was odd about this to me.

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  33. Carrie, even though we've never met, please know that my heart goes out to you.

    This Hudson family tragedy is beyond horrible.

    I hope things get better for you too Ent. Even Snark Kings (and Queens) have feelings. Probably deeper than we'd care to admit.

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  34. Our family recently had a death. My brother in law was murdered almost 6 weeks ago, he leave behind a wife of 3 years and a baby that will be one soon. There are no words to express the level of anger and grief that we have been through. I hope that in this case with the Hudson family, there will be an arrest soon. Our family is still waiting. Prayers to all. Either way, it was senseless to take a life-especially a child.

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  35. I'm with farmgirl. I used to live right outside of Philly and this stuff happened all the time. On one hand, it motivated people to look harder for the boy--right or wrong, if it was your kid you would take what you could to find your kid. On the other hand, she has to play this out along with her sister in the public eye. That can't be easy for the world to be watching your nightmare on the evening news. My parents were killed in an accident when I was younger. We lived in a small town at the time and the news had picked it up along with the local papers. It was weird for me to hear people whisper "that's the girl who's parents were killed." My parents were well known in town. That obviously was on a much smaller scale and it was creepy. I can't imagine what the Hudson family is going through.

    Carrie, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your child. I can't even imagine. God bless. I got tired of hearing the same "they are in a better place" "sorry for your loss" too but no one knows what to say in these situations. Nothing that anyone can say makes things better for the person who lost a loved one(s). However, people do care enough that they feel the need to let them know that they are there for the family. I wish you well in dealing with your situation. It does get easier with time. Hang in there.

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  36. Southerner, I wonder if you have the same creepy feeling as I do. It's strange that the step father hasn't been charged but there very well be a good explanation for that.

    Moosefan, my heart goes out to you and your family. sometimes life just seems so damn unfair and cruel. God bless.

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  37. This was just posted on Just Jared.

    The body of Julian King, Jennifer Hudson’s 7-year-old nephew was discovered Monday in a white SUV on Chicago’s West Side.

    Law enforcement sources said that the boy was shot multiple times in the back of the vehicle, with at least one gun shot to the head.

    The boy’s stepfather, William Balfour, 27, is currently in the custody of state officials but has not been formally charged.

    Our hearts are extended to the entire Hudson family.

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  38. blah, the stepfather is back in jail for violation of parole, so it's not like he's out on the street, which is a good thing. he wanted custody of the child, which doesn't make sense to me. he was a criminal before this happened and wasn't the blood father. that part of it seems odd.

    what are you guys thinking is going on?

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  39. Carrie there are never any "appropriate words" for the sudden death of a loved one, particularly a child.

    My condolences go out to both you and moosefan for the loss of your loved ones.

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  40. blah,

    i think that this was a hit. like organized crime, i.e. mob, gangs... perhaps someone got in over their heads owing money.

    i read on another site that jen wanted to buy her mom another residence, but she refused. her sister and beau wanted jen to get them a place but jen refused. jen felt that they should and could help themselves. jen didn't want to be their bank.

    this is in no way a random act of violence. shooting a kid in their head. SICK!!

    the mother and stepdad know something. that's my feeling.

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  41. molly,

    I think this is about money. I read somewhere that William (step dad) sold a family car that wasn't his and threatened the family when he approached about the issue.

    Somehow I think he took the kid to shut him up after he killed the mother and brother. At one point one article said that the child was being held for ransom. I don't know if that was true but I still think that this ex felon was after money.

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  42. Quintessential Southerner,

    Do you think that the mother (Julia) plotted with her ex William to get money from Jennifer?

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  43. i have been told by a cop that parents, or rather breeders, cause as much harm to their kids as strangers. i call people breeders when they have a child/ren and obviously don't care about them.

    i want to be wrong, adrian, i do. i just think that those two know more than they are saying.

    but the fbi is on this also and very few can fool them. those two probably aren't smart enough to out fox quantico.

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  44. oops, wrong poster, meant not on my dollar.

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  45. nomd, yea, it could be about money but i honestly think the boy and his grandmother and uncle were victims. i don't think the boys mother had anything to do with this either. supposedly they were a very tight family and well liked and respected within the community. that mother was in a lot of pain pleading with whoever took her baby to please return him. my radar didn't go off at all watching her on the news as it has when someone has killed their loved one and then gotten airtime with their big croc tears. i don't think there was anything underhanded going on on the part of the family.

    we already know the estranged husband was trouble and maybe he was in a gang or owed people money or something, that i wouldn't be surprised to hear.

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  46. Anonymous3:40 PM

    awww ENT
    (((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

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  47. Carrie, MooseFan and Blah, my very deepest regrets. My heart goes out to you. Yes, people want to express their sorrow and try to bring you some measure of comfort, but words can't always describe what they feel
    Just for the record, one thing NOT to say is "There's a reason for everything." Saying that to someone who's experiencing a huge amount of pain is in the least inappropriate - and at most, adds to the hurt.

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  48. One thing that I did find strange is that Jennifer had to identify the mother and brother's body as well as the nephew's. I know that the simply answer would be that the sister was distraught and yet the sister was able to hold it together to make a statement pleading for the return of her son.

    Outside of that statement and commenting on how Jennifer reacted to the news there has been no mention of Julia.

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  49. blah and moosefan, i'm sorry for your tragic experiences, too. there really are no words.

    this is what i think may have happened. i think the stepfather wanted custody so he could get child support. when that didn't happen, i think he went to the house with the intention of taking julian out and then keeping him for ransom. the family probably said no and got into a scuffle and he ended up killing them. i don't think he went there with the intention of killing them but when he didn't get what he wanted, he lost his temper and pulled out the gun. not knowing what to do, he took julian with him and finally decided he had to get rid of him.

    he stole his wifes car and sold it so he needed money, probably for drugs. i honestly don't think the family members were in on this in any way.

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  50. julia found the bodies of her mother and brother, so she was probably traumatized.

    i saw photo's of my best friend after she killed herself and i still have nightmares about it and a lot of years have gone by.

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  51. judi i agree i heard someone on the radio today stating that Jennifer needs to know that sometimes God allows tragedy in your life to get your prepared for greater things to come.


    This man has no idea how hurtful that comment was even though he thought he was giving her words of comfort.

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  52. that's interesting molly i keep hearing that a "family member" found the bodies and that Julia was at work when the bodies were discovered.

    I live near Chicago too but somehow we're getting different stories.

    If your story is correct that would explain a lot.

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  53. Carrie, I could never understand those words either after losing my son, only realizing much later that sometimes, the best thing to say is nothing at all, and just being there for the person when the waves of pain and panic take over. I want to send you big cyber hugs, and lots of positive vibes. One thing I know for certain, is that it takes time, but you will get through this. Feel free to contact me through my blog if you ever need to chat.

    Every time I hear a story of a child getting murdered, a piece of my heart gets chipped away. There is simply no room for that kind of violence, or any violence for that matter. Too much pain left in the wake of these unexplainable events.
    Take it easy Ent, sometimes, even snark needs a break. Big, BIG hugs!

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  54. nomd, i might be wrong that it was julia who discovered the bodies. i've read so many stories and our channels keep running the updates that i may have been confused about who it was who discovered the bodies, but i do think julia could have been traumatized or may have wanted to stay home to wait for news about julian instead of going to identify the bodies.

    and i'm only speculating on the rest but it seems like this guy just wanted money. the cops deliberately didn't say which family member had the defensive wounds but i'm guessing it was jason. he probably tried to get the idiot to leave and then things got physical.

    and everybody probably knows this but i'll type it anyways, the cops don't disclose all the information so they can weed out nuts who say they know what happened.

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  55. jewels, you lost your son, too? i'm so sorry. so many tragedies here. bless you all, i hope you're all getting through it as best as you can.

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  56. a cousin found the bodies of the mother & brother

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  57. thnx, pk. i just went looking and could only find articles saying it was a family member.

    the updated news just said there were no other persons of interest so i think that pretty much rules out any involvement by the mother.

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  58. A cousin who lives in the neighborhood discovered J's mom, right away backed out of the house, and called the cops. The cops found Jason when they searched the other rooms. The trauma of their deaths and her son being missing would be enough (for me anyway) to not have Julia ID anyone.
    Yeah, Molly. Even though this case is very high profile, they're not going to talk much until they have solid info about exactly who did this. I bet they're going over the Suburban for every shred of evidence possible but they're not going to talk about it.
    IIRC, a shotgun was used. Whoever it was, they went there with the intention of killing these people. Balfour did threaten to harm the family after the car selling argument. But did he do it? Was he alone? We just don't know enough yet.
    Jewel, duly noted. I will keep this in mind for the future.

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  59. the aggravating thing is that they were shot between 8 and 9 am and not found until 3pm. you have to wonder if they would have made it if someone would have called the police and discovered them sooner.

    judi, i don't remember reading it was a shotgun, but even at that, it may have been meant to intimidate them. parts of this we'll probably never know.

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  60. I've read in articles that the neighborhood where they lived is the type where they don't appreciate snitches. People probably get afraid of being tied to anything crime wise for fear of their own safety in the future. Doesn't make it any less fucked up but I guess it is what it is. My ex was from a neighborhood like that. Don't call the cops and just deal with it yourselves. I don't get that. It just sounds insane to me. ::shrugs:: I love the cops when I'm in trouble!

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  61. Moosefan and BlahFrickenBlah--
    I don't know what to say except I am so sorry for your losses.

    Molly, I am sorry about your best friend. That must have been so difficult.

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  62. blah, at the risk of having racist haters on my ass, i'll tell you that my family is biracial and i know that it's fear of being targeted that keep people quiet. they're so afraid they won't even make phone calls to 9-1-1 telling them not to send cops to their door. they think if they call the cops, someone will find out. so i don't blame them either it's the mentality of the hood.

    i'm with you tho, i love the cops when i'm in trouble like i love doctors when i'm sick. meaning a lot. but then my life isn't threatened by calling them, so i'm in a different world altogether.

    adrian, thnx, it was a year of sorrow and depression and i'm glad it was a long time ago.

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  63. I am so sorry to everyone on here who has lost a child. That loss seems to me to be the hardest possible one. And of course, it is so sad that this tragedy has struck Jennifer Hudson.

    And to Enty---take good care of yourself. You're a good guy and your family and your health (emotional and physical) need to come first. You're in my thoughts.

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  64. I went on Julia's (the sister) myspace page the day of the murders and there was a certain layout on her page. I went on again the next day and her layout had been changed. If you're a mother going out of your mind because your child is missing, would you be spending time rearranging your myspace page? I thought that was really strange.

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  65. I need to mention though, that being said, I can't believe how tragic this story is. Just awful.

    I'm so sorry for any of you who have lost someone close to you. My sister passed away last year and the worst thing I have ever seen is my Mother after her passing. I wish I never had to see her suffer like that.

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  66. This is all so tragic and sad.

    Kind thoughts are going out to all of you peeps who are dealing with heartbreak. Death really sucks.

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  67. Oh, Lord...where to start? I don't think this was about money so much as payback on the husband/stepfather's part--he was pissed that his estranged wife was on him about the car, perhaps thought she might try to have him arrested for, so he did the one thing he knew would hurt her the most--killing her dearly loved family members, especially her child. I mean, multiple gunshot wounds on a KID?!? It would only take one to silence someone--this was spite, pure and simple. :-( My thoughts and prayers are with Jennifer & Julia while they try to get through this together, and likewise to everyone else here who's lost someone, especially a child.

    And Enty, take all the time you need--it's not as if this is your day job, and you won't be able to get Chikin' in a Biskit crackers without it. ;-) Sometimes comic relief and black humor are just what's needed when tragedy strikes, but you also need time to process and mourn, so do whatever feels best to you.

    (((group hug)))

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  68. Okay I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight from all of the sadness.

    Tomorrow I'm going to make a point to find some sunshine to discuss to pull me out of this extremely depressing mood.

    Have A Safe and Pleasant Night Everyone.

    Hope each of you sleeps well.

    nomd

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  69. nomd and all, i hope tomorrow is a brighter day, too.

    enty, sending prayers and good thoughts your way. hope tomorrow is especially good to you.

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  70. For those wanting to know of a good crime/missing person site:

    http://www.dreamindemon.com/

    is a good one. And they have links to others. I hate that this has ended up like this - that poor kid. My sympathies to all of the families involved.

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  71. My prayers are with this family. For those of you who have lost a loved one to a senseless crime- I just finished reading The Shack-good book. I have to warn ya, it does have religious undertones.

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  72. quintessential, I take it you read Panache Report. I had the same feelings you did, there is something very, very off here but right now it's just an extremely sensitive issue to go into so I won't. My condolences are with Jennifer now. It's frustrating b/c there is nothing I can say to make things better and if there was something I could say or do, I don't know her in order to say or do it.

    To shoot a child multiple times shows an extreme amount of cruelty. This is the part that I just cannot get past...things like that make me question my anti-death penalty stance. I think it is natural human instinct to want to seek revenge, which is why we do have a death penalty still, but also why IMO certain rougher neighborhoods have a no-snitch/'we'll handle it ourselves' mentality.

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  73. Dear God......... I don't know what to say to everyone. Too much pain and tragedy happening to too many innocent people. Sending prayers and cyber hugs to all!!!
    Enty, Sugar, take some time and blow off the steam. The snark will be here whenever you are ready. So will we.......

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  74. And to those here who have lost a loved one I also give my sincerest condolences and...well, there are never any correct words to say. Nothing anyone can say to take away the pain, which is why you always get condolences and apologies. We want to offer something even if it's just a kind word, and a kind word is really all we can give.

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  75. X--I was over at D Listed and they were having a discussion about the mom's behavior related to her myspace account. They were talking about her "friending" all sorts of people (I guess someone saw her friend numbers go up?) and if she bothered to go on myspace at all, why not kick her old man off the friends list? The only thing that felt weird was that it looked like family and friends put up pics of the little boy and noted either to help find him or RIP on their main pictures. Even Jennifer herself. Who knows? People react differently to death. It is pretty strange though.

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  76. Who knows if that's even really her space, you know? For the no-snitch neighborhoods, don't authorities everywhere have anonymous tip lines people can call? This would be the way to go when someone needs to call something in yet not be connected.

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  77. *sigh*
    I've been out of touch all day.

    Hugs all around to the CDaN crew.
    This just sucks.

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  78. Thank you everyone for all the best wishes. Moose, Jewel, my goodness. All I can say is that I know precisely what you're going through. I'm going to jump on the cyber hug bandwagon here and wish I could give you all one. It's nice to know that there are so many caring, compassionate people here. We all laugh and mock and snipe at these celebrities, but underneath all that, it's heartwarming to see that we're not completely jaded. Enty.. chin up, my dear. Kudos to you for cutting the 'snark' today.

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  79. take all the time you need Ent...we'll be here waiting for you.

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  80. It is a terrible thing that happened to that little boy. But it happens all the time in Chicago. We're talking about a city where kids get shot by a stray bullet just because they are looking out the window.

    I understand that this type of thing happening to someone famous hits everyone close to home, but it makes me a little sick to my stomach that because he has a successful aunt for some reason he is more worthy of out pours of grief than any of the other 60 Chicago Public School students that have been murdered this past year.

    Hopefully this tragedy will shine a light on the underlying problem here in Chicago.

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  81. Kathryn, I see your point but none of this has anything to do with merit. Yes, it's in Chicago, it's everywhere. The only diff here is that because Jen's famous, we all hear about it... and have the opportunity to express condolences. If every case was publicized, we'd be expressing them, too.

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  82. Posted on Julia's Myspace page:

    "SOME OF YAL HAVE YOUR OPINIONS AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO THAT , LIKE WHY IS SHE LOGGING ON TO MYSPACE AT A TIME LIKE THIS , LET ME TELL YOU WHY I WAS HOPING THAT , THAT WAS A WAY TO MAYBE HELP ME GET MY SON, MY BABY THE ONE I CARRIED UNDER MY HEART FOR 8 1/2 MONTHS THE SON IT TOOK ME 21 HOURS OF LABOR TO BRING HERE THE SON I GREW TO KNOW AND LOVE FOR JUST A FEW MONTHS OVER 7 YEARS THATS WHY …"

    I am curious about the last line. Did she not have custody of her son? What does "know and love for just a few months mean"? I'm confused.

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  83. X- I think she means her son was 7 years and 3(?) months old, thus she got to know and love him for only a few months over(=past) seven years.

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  84. X--I think she meant that he was 7 years and several months old; AFAIK she always had custody of him. And yes, people do deal with things differently; maybe fiddling w/the page helped her feel better.

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