Michael Lohan Opening Rehab For Celebrities

Hey, what do you know, an exclusive. Do you feel the excitement? Me neither. It just kind of seemed too lame to make a blind item, but exclusives are kind of lame. Of course it would have to be about Michael Lohan. Well, can't win them all. At least he is fun to make fun of. Apparently now that Michael is getting married he is looking for something to do to make a buck other than trying to live off his relationship with his daughter. Probably a good idea considering the disintegration of that relationship and it wasn't even a year ago when they were all huggy kissy when she got out of that Utah rehab clinic. Well being a general pain in the ass and making unsolicited comments can lead to the break down of even a father-daughter relationship.

Enough about that. Lets talk about Michael's new money making scheme. Right now he is gathering investors for the purpose of getting them to pony up a bunch of dough so Michael can open his own celebrity rehab place. Not sure I would give him money to buy me a loaf of bread at the store, but ok. According to the person who passed me along all of this, otherwise, known as a source. Sounds cheesy like that though huh? Trying to stay off the cheese though this morning. No, not a lactose thing, but thanks for your concern. Anyway, the source says that Michael is telling all these potential investors that he is eminently qualified to to run such a place because of his own history with substance abuse and because he has a "unique insight and understanding into the nature of celebrity addicts." Well, sure, but that means when he is selling this idea to investors he is exploiting Lindsay, because as far as I know he is the only celebrity addict he really knows. And does having insight into one celebrity addiction and going through rehab yourself somehow make you an expert and give you the ability to run an entire clinic? I don't think so. Oh, and you think that when Michael needs some extra cash that perhaps someone at the clinic will whisper something to the tabloids. I wouldn't go there if I were a celebrity. I wouldn't go there period. The last thing I need to see if I am coming off a four year bender is Michael Lohan's face in mine everyday while I'm trying to get clean.