At Least She Isn't Cooking
With the announcement today by Paris Hilton that she is an amazing cook, and that she never goes out anymore unless it is work related, it has become official. Every celebrity now cooks, is a stay at home kind of person and the people we see out every night are just figments of our imagination. So, instead of becoming one of the herd, Kirsten Dunst decided to go a different route. Incredulity. Apparently she is writing her very own musical. She gave an interview and had this to say about it.
"I started to write a musical a few years ago and I'm going to get back into writing it. But I'm not going to say what it's about though."
Umm, she probably isn't saying anything about it because she has no idea what it is about. The idea to say something probably occurred to her during the interview when she realized she had nothing of any great importance to say, and that no one really cares what she has to say. Knowing that she doesn't even know how to microwave popcorn she couldn't go the whole cooking route and so decided to go out so far on the ledge of disbelief that entire countries took time out from their financial problems to take a moment to laugh. I believe this is the same Kirsten Dunst who once said she didn't play an instrument, didn't really know anything about music and certainly doesn't know how to read music.
It is going to be pretty tough for someone to read her music when it says things like, "hmm, hum,..boom, bam" in a bouncy beat. "Give me a C, a bouncy C." Man I miss Phil Hartman. Anyway, she probably did go see a musical when she was 12 and decided she could write one and so wanted to go ahead and throw that out there so the world would think she has some kind of skill other than Spiderman's girlfriend. What I think every interviewer of Kirsten should do from now on is always ask her how that musical is coming. Every time she walks a red carpet ask her how much longer it will be. Just really make her put up or shut up.
See, I wish Ellen had done that with Paris Hilton. She let Paris just get away with saying she makes these large amazing meals, but I don't think she asked any followup questions like what she cooks, or what temperatures she cooks them at, or what she cooks best. I know talk shows depend on celebrities for ratings, but would it kill someone to ask a followup question? Just one. Maybe then, they would actually think before opening their mouth.
"I started to write a musical a few years ago and I'm going to get back into writing it. But I'm not going to say what it's about though."
Umm, she probably isn't saying anything about it because she has no idea what it is about. The idea to say something probably occurred to her during the interview when she realized she had nothing of any great importance to say, and that no one really cares what she has to say. Knowing that she doesn't even know how to microwave popcorn she couldn't go the whole cooking route and so decided to go out so far on the ledge of disbelief that entire countries took time out from their financial problems to take a moment to laugh. I believe this is the same Kirsten Dunst who once said she didn't play an instrument, didn't really know anything about music and certainly doesn't know how to read music.
It is going to be pretty tough for someone to read her music when it says things like, "hmm, hum,..boom, bam" in a bouncy beat. "Give me a C, a bouncy C." Man I miss Phil Hartman. Anyway, she probably did go see a musical when she was 12 and decided she could write one and so wanted to go ahead and throw that out there so the world would think she has some kind of skill other than Spiderman's girlfriend. What I think every interviewer of Kirsten should do from now on is always ask her how that musical is coming. Every time she walks a red carpet ask her how much longer it will be. Just really make her put up or shut up.
See, I wish Ellen had done that with Paris Hilton. She let Paris just get away with saying she makes these large amazing meals, but I don't think she asked any followup questions like what she cooks, or what temperatures she cooks them at, or what she cooks best. I know talk shows depend on celebrities for ratings, but would it kill someone to ask a followup question? Just one. Maybe then, they would actually think before opening their mouth.
Admittedly, Ent, I cook and bake a lot, but I need recipes. What temperature/time, etc. It needs to be written down for me.
ReplyDeleteThat said, Paris should have been able to say WHAT she likes cooking.
You left out that they all want to adopt an unfortunate orphan.
ReplyDelete"Man I miss Phil Hartman."
*sniff*
She is so full of shit.
Also: "I liked being here tonight answering these tough questions without the filter of the mainstream gotcha media with their 'follow-up questions,' 'fact-checking' or 'incessant need to figure out what your words mean and why ya put them in that order.'"
ReplyDeleteya i was a lil dissapointed with Ellen for A) being freinds with Ebola and b) letting her skate on all her questions.
ReplyDeletethere was a time when she had no respect for Paris either.
I can cook lots of stuff..lasagna,chinese food,all kinds of mexican,thin crust bbq pizza from scratch.
damn im hungry.
Certainly, Snaggletooth and Paris are pros playing the "Skin Flute."
ReplyDeleteskin flute - penis dick cock wang schlong dong johnson prick meat whistle rod jerking off vagina blow job john thomas cock sucker pussy sex phallus trouser ...
Actually, Paris has been saying for YEARS that she's a good cook. Whenever she needs a sound bite that makes her seem like a well rounded person with interests other than shopping and applying lip gloss. I remember as far back as when I was still reading UsWeekly five years ago.
ReplyDeleteAnd y'all know I hate her, but I did see pictures of her making sushi at some event. She claims to make great sushi, and I won't vouch for it, but I did actually see her putting together a roll.
However, sushi is like, an LA staple food so no duh she can make it on her own. Let's see her actually tackle a recipe.
Did anyone catch Gywenth Paltrow's cooking/tourist show? She's driving around Spain in a shiny convertible Mercedes with Mario Batalli. At the end of the show she leaves Mario to squeeze into another convertible Mercedes with another couple on the show as she drives off because "she misses her children so much" but then says she "can't bring them on the show since that would be exploitation". That's when I threw the remote at the TV.
ReplyDeleteSo these stars are saying they cook at home now.
ReplyDeleteI don't think cooking meth in your basement counts does it.
Why does everyone make such a big deal about cooking...if you can read you can cook, and if you like to eat and I do...well it's only natural.
ReplyDeleteI think you'd be amazed at who can cook......
I guess Paris is so busy cooking she tends to forget the dogs she locks in her closet for weeks at a time.
ReplyDeleteLOL@not a famous adrian.
ReplyDeleteKirsten is probably forgetting the orthodontist she locked in her closet.
yep I'd be a little worried eating over at Paris's house. With those missing dogs of her's.
ReplyDeleteParis looks in freezer it's empty, but closet is full of meat. Steak Chalupas is called Steak Chihuahuas at Paris's house.
IF these people are such great cooks why does the pap end up taking pictures of them at restaurants.
ReplyDeleteI dont cook, i reheat
ReplyDeleteYou'd think Kiki would be a musical maestro from the amount of musicians she's (most likely) fucked.
ReplyDeleteWhy would Paris cook? She doesn't eat anything that doesn't fit down her beaked nose, and we all know how unattentive she is about other peoples needs (sex tape anyone...)
^ Eh, don't believe the PR on THAT one.
ReplyDeleteBtw, cooking makes a celeb look stable and homey after a stint in rehab. This is just typical Huvane at work making his client look good and less dependant on drinkie poos.
That said, good luck to her if she wants to bake and do musicals. I'm sure she can rope Simon Pegg in for a cameo, dressed as a giant pair of bollocks.
Well that settles it, Paris needs her own cooking show.
ReplyDelete"Give me a C, a bouncy C" is Martin Short, NOT Phil Hartman--though he is definitely missed.
ReplyDeleteparis has been saying for a long long time that she is a good cook and her best dish is lasagna.
ReplyDeleteWhy's everyone having a go at these celebs just because they say they like cooking? To say they can't cook because they are always seen in restaurants is wrong. If you had their money would you sit at home every night and cook. i know i wouldn't
ReplyDeletei think Kirsten Dunst is heading down the Anne Heche - Margot Kidder - super crazy road, fairly quickly
ReplyDelete