That Relationship Is Done

Christina Fulton who is the mother of Nicolas Cage's eldest child (pictured above)was supposed to get hitched this weekend in Norway to Stian Tomt Thoresen. Apparently unable to accurately spell his name, Christina instead decided to call off the wedding until she was more comfortable with her Norwegian. Of course, that isn't the reason they gave for calling it off. Oh no. The couple of course had the standard we are too busy thing excuse.

"We both have very hectic schedules, with Christina's upcoming reality show and (Dimmu Borgir's) new DVD, which is coming out this fall. There was simply too much going on at the same time."

Ummm, you are supposed to get married in three days. Presumably you had this calendared in advance. "Yeah, can't really make it for coffee that day. Getting married. Well, they do make a good espresso. Tell you what. Let me see if I can postpone this wedding thing."

See. This is the end of the relationship. Sure, they make it sound like it is just a delay, but lets face it. If you don't go through with it, then its over. I'm not talking about some kind of freak injury or a mother who drinks too much. This is just the couple saying, ummm, maybe this isn't working and we should call it off before we end up marrying and this becomes a lifetime thing of having Nicolas Cage and his bad hair in my life forever.

Now, I think they did the smart thing in calling it off, but I'm sure they pissed off a whole bunch of people who were already in the country for a wedding. Nicolas was going to attend as well as Jim Carrey, Rob Zombie and Patricia Arquette. They can afford the inconvenience. But, what about the other relatives? Do you think they wanted to go to Norway for a vacation? Maybe they wanted to go to Paris or to Hawaii, but no, Christina just had to get married in the most expensive country in the entire world.

I'm using Christina as the scape goat because presumably Stian's friends and family actually live in Norway since he is from there and lives there. But as for the demise of the relationship, probably Stian, since it was his people that put out the statement.