Ted C Blind Item
Call it One Matronly Messing Around Blind Vice. Shirley Surly's a very famous half to a highly visible couple these days. Both spouses are good looking. Both married types act like they're friggin' single, and they've done this for years.
Not saying they've had orgies after the PTA meetings every other Tuesday, just that these two ain't exactly a Tom-and-Rita-type duo, not at all. And even though Shirley and her man are currently doing their damnedest to patch things up, we're told it's just because they want to look more together in their fancy neighborhood (what a friggin' lame reason, obviously this latest effort at a unified domestic front is so not going to work).
Shirley's bitchy friends—who just adore the Awful Truth, thank get-even heavens—are most def not buying this nascent happy-couple act. And their fave reason for citing why they insist S2's attempt is not going to last? "Her affair with the surfing instructor," bellowed one of these big-haired broads. "They're just never going to get past it, I don't think."
Love! It's all like some movie Aaron Spelling would have written before he croaked, starring Donna Mills or Lori Loughlin, or somebody. Maybe he did? Anyway, things don't look too sweet for sour Shirl's and her hubby—a happy 'n' squeaky ending does not appear forthcoming, promise. 'Cause the hunky dude with the board ain't the only cat in this pussy's bag.
Tony & Eva??
ReplyDeleteWhat?
ReplyDeleteTori & Dean? The Aaron Spelling mention would be pretty ballsy, if that's the case. But it would seem so...
ReplyDeleteoops. Maybe not. No one ever accused Tor Spelling of being "good looking"
ReplyDeleteThe ain'ts are Annette Bening, Kate Capshaw, and Hillary Clinton.
ReplyDeleteAre we looking for someone politically active? The blind also rules out Tom and Hanks.
Tom and Rita Hanks
ReplyDeleteThe "they've done this for years" leads me to believe it's a couple who has been married for more than 2 or 3 years.
ReplyDeleteI'd love to say Posh and Becks, but I can't see her bony ass out surfing.
Surly is a good word for the perpetually non-smiling Posh though. PTA meeting make me think of them too as their image as good parents is an important part of "brand Beckham".
ReplyDeleteAshton & Demi, David & Courtney (Shirley Surly aka Courtney Cox plus the "friends" reference), Kevin & Kyra ?
ReplyDeleteSusan Sarandon & Tim Robbins
ReplyDelete"Both married types" means they are not married - just act like it
I don't think its Posh and Becks b/c he's been in the news plenty for messing around with his assistant, etc. I don't that her messing w/ a surfing instructor would do them in.
ReplyDeleteIf he's talking about politically active, what about Ashley Judd? She's done some "charity" stuff before....
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ReplyDeleteThis is Madonna and wasn't this a blind from last week?
ReplyDelete"The Awful Truth"....
ReplyDeleteCome on -- Ted couldn't leave a bigger clue if he tried.
(1) Good-looking married couple.
(2) In the news.
(3)Currently doing their damndest to patch things up.
(3) "The ________ Truth"
Anyone? Anyone?
The Awful Truth is the name of Ted's column.
ReplyDeleteGoldie Hawn and Kurt Russell
ReplyDeleteI'm with IceAngel. I think it's Madonna and Guy. "Board" may be euphemism for "bat."
ReplyDelete@kristen: True dat.
ReplyDeleteBut how often does Ted mention his own column's name in his blinds? Never. This is the first time I've ever seen him do it. and there's usually a purpose behind pretty much everything he puts in there.
And it's just coincidence that Ted drops "The Awful Truth" into a blind in a week where the former star of "The Naked Truth" and her husband are in the news, and fit the details of the blind to a T???
Given that he used the word "Matronly" and then used matronly types for his "ain'ts," we're looking for older types. The people guessing Tori Spelling and Eva Longoria aren't paying attention.
ReplyDeleteWhile Tea Leoni's got big problems right now, I don't think she qualifies as a "matron" yet.
Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon, and Madonna are matrons, but I haven't heard that they are trying hard to patch up their relationships. Madonna, though, can't seem to dodge rumors about her marriage. Are there surfing instructors in London, though?
Madonna would NEVER go out in the sun and ruin her face. Remember when she wrapped herself up in a blanket a while back and sat on the beach?? There's no surfing on her horizon, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely an older couple in the news a lot lately....who doesn't smile a whole lot..and they've been together for years. Definitely someone politically active, hence the reference to 'visible lately'....
I'm kind of thinking Demi/Ashton.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa...they've been together forever but had a pretty well-publicized separation a few years ago that included marriage counseling. "Fancy neighborhood" - everyone in the town where they live knows everyone else's business, I can see why it would be important for them to be seen together. "Big-haired broads" = every Jersey chick ever.
ReplyDeleteThis is a far off guess but could it be Leo Dicaprio and Bar whatever her last name is
ReplyDeleteBar lives in Israel. And somehow they don't strike me as having a genuine relationship.
ReplyDeleteDr McSteamy & Rebecca Gayheart
ReplyDeleteOh, absolutely, it's Bar and Leo. She's SOOOOO matronly.
ReplyDelete(snark)
I think it's julia roberts and danny moder
ReplyDeletedanny moder is a HUGE surfaholic
Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna??
ReplyDeleteHarry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna??
ReplyDeleteWasn't there pics of Sarah Michelle Gellar surfing? Not that I think Freddie Prinze would cheat, but a girl can dream can't she??
ReplyDeleteThis is a "highly visible couple these days." Harry and Lisa are not. Goldie and Kurt are not.
ReplyDeleteSomeone on eonline wrote, "Courtney Cox * they had a pic of her the other day on a surf board."
How about Cindy Crawford?
I can't believe nobody has guessed Will and Jada. They're all over the news with their scientology school about to get picketed. This blind talks about school a lot, and I think "matronly" could be ironic, because Jada is anything but matronly.
ReplyDeleteI reallyreallyreally think this is Ashton and Demi. "Married" types? Ashton-"What Happens In Vegas".."Just Married"
ReplyDeleteDemi has been married before. Surfs a lot. Unified domestic front? Makes me think of Demi, Bruce, their kids, and then Ashton. PTA meetings? 3 kids.
Their "marriage" has always seemed odd. Seriously something just does NOT fit there.
John Travolta and Kelly Preston
ReplyDeleteWarren Beatty and Annette Benning
ReplyDeletejlb, Annette Benning is a NOT.
ReplyDeleteOooh, John Travolta and Kelly Preston! But are they in the news a lot?
Demi is FAR from matronly.
Madonna all the way.
lol Thank you - I missed that she was.
ReplyDeletei agree with the travolta/preston.
ReplyDeletetravolta nails the matronly clue.
Michelle Pfieffer and her husband? (I'm blanking out on his name.)
ReplyDeleteRobin Wright Penn and Sean Penn?
I can't believe no one's guessed Ben Afleck & Jen Garner yet.
ReplyDeleteNew house, def into politics...and we've seen pics of Jen surfing (or paddle surfing??)...though she's pg now doesn't mean she coudln't still be carrying on an affair with surf instructor.