You know, Most of the time for some reason we, and when I say we, I mean we, as in all of us, tend to look at an affair as the woman being the homewrecker. As has been pointed out to me by FW many times, there are always two people involved, if not more who should share blame equally. Everyone rags on Sienna Miller, but no one ever goes off on Balthazar. We should, but we don't. I mean if it wasn't for Balthazar saying yes, then it wouldn't have happened.
I was reading this first interview Elizabeth Edwards gave with the Detroit Free Press and the one thing that struck me was this quote. "Trust [is] probably the most difficult hurdle." This is a woman who is probably going to die very soon. Should she be having to deal with trust issues regarding her husband? Why would he put her in this position? At this time in her life she should be able to focus solely on her children and all the time she can devote to them. I mean she has a 10 year old and an 8 year old and I'm sure would rather be thinking of them and doing things with them, and not having to discuss whether she trusts her husband or whether she has forgiven him.
Look cheating is awful, but I think we all know and accept that it happens. We don't like it and we abhor it, but I think we can all acknowledge it happens. What I just find utterly abhorrent about this is that his wife is dying and he still had to get his dick taken care of. I don't mean to be crass, but isn't there plenty of time for whoring it up after your wife has passed? Don't you think you should be devoting your energies more to her, and to comforting your kids and helping them cope with this, rather than trying to find a place you can be alone with someone for a quickie?
I just don't think that there is anything John Edwards could do to redeem himself in my eyes. The woman has stage 4 breast cancer and he is off having sex with who knows how many people.
I'm not perfect. Not even close. But, in my mind there does not seem to be anything lower or more disgusting than doing something like that to the woman you have spent your life with, who gave birth to your children, and who has always been your biggest supporter while she is trying to fight for her life.
I was reading this first interview Elizabeth Edwards gave with the Detroit Free Press and the one thing that struck me was this quote. "Trust [is] probably the most difficult hurdle." This is a woman who is probably going to die very soon. Should she be having to deal with trust issues regarding her husband? Why would he put her in this position? At this time in her life she should be able to focus solely on her children and all the time she can devote to them. I mean she has a 10 year old and an 8 year old and I'm sure would rather be thinking of them and doing things with them, and not having to discuss whether she trusts her husband or whether she has forgiven him.
Look cheating is awful, but I think we all know and accept that it happens. We don't like it and we abhor it, but I think we can all acknowledge it happens. What I just find utterly abhorrent about this is that his wife is dying and he still had to get his dick taken care of. I don't mean to be crass, but isn't there plenty of time for whoring it up after your wife has passed? Don't you think you should be devoting your energies more to her, and to comforting your kids and helping them cope with this, rather than trying to find a place you can be alone with someone for a quickie?
I just don't think that there is anything John Edwards could do to redeem himself in my eyes. The woman has stage 4 breast cancer and he is off having sex with who knows how many people.
I'm not perfect. Not even close. But, in my mind there does not seem to be anything lower or more disgusting than doing something like that to the woman you have spent your life with, who gave birth to your children, and who has always been your biggest supporter while she is trying to fight for her life.
Not to be cold or callous but, when he started the affair his wife was very ill and she was supposed to die very soon. He stood by her side in the hospital and this woman was his escape. Granted once she recovered he should have ended the affair but it's not like he dumped her when he found out she was sick and moved on.
ReplyDeletedaniel--he did move on. It wasn't a one night stand--this was a long-term physical/emotional relationship. If she was about to die so soon, surely he could have contained himself.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Daniel, I think that makes him even scummier - he couldn't have waited until she was gone to get his rocks off? What escape was there for Elizabeth?
ReplyDeleteHa, almost jinx, Adrian. :)
ReplyDeleteThe term "escape" was lost on you I guess. It wasn't about well I hope she dies soon so I can get some (which for some reason would be more socially acceptable, but I find just as distasteful). Like I said he should have ended it when his wife recovered but he didn't and for that he is flawed but I don't share the same hatred for him that ent does. I save that for people who abandon their spouses when they are most needed. I don't know if Dana Reeves ever stepped outside of her marriage but who I am I to judge her if she did. What she and John Edwards have in common is that they didn't leave their respective spouses to be alone in their greatest time of need.
ReplyDeletehey Mooshki--great minds think alike!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I don't think this is uncommon. When a wife gets cancer husband can feel shut out because they're not getting the same attention (and I don't mean sexually). They also get scared because they are faced with the reality of being left alone with the kids. I've been in enough cancer support groups to know that it happens quite often. One more reason why cancer sucks.
ReplyDeletePoliticians have gigantic egos and scary things happen when they suddenly don't get the attention they crave. I am totally not defending John Edwards because he is scum. His reputation is now in the toilet and I doubt he'll bounce back from this.
There are plenty of ways to find support in a hard time outside of the bedroom.
ReplyDeletesorry Daniel, not buying it...he's selfish and self centered. He should have thought of his wife, not himself.
ReplyDelete(Yes, it's understandable, but that doesn't make it less hurtful.)
ReplyDeletejj- That was kind of my point. You have some experience with this (only on the periphery I hope) and my point was that John Edwards was human for faltering while his wife was sick and a complete asshole for carrying on after she recovered. The prospect of having your significant other die on you can turn your world upside down and it really isn't anyone's job on the outside to judge you for it.
ReplyDeletemooshki and kris hopefully you will never have your world turned upside down like the people whose husbands and wives become deathly ill. That way you will always make rational and level-headed decisions.
ReplyDelete" Everyone rags on Sienna Miller, but no one ever goes off on Balthazar. We should, but we don't. "
ReplyDeleteenty, you need to read the comments more often. we rip him a new asshole all the time for being slime.
Daniel, so you admit he made a bad decision, but you don't want us to criticize him for it?
ReplyDeletebefore i knew of the affair, he always struck me as a real slimeball cunty type.
ReplyDeletenot a fan of this phoney slimey cunt
I HAVE had my world turned upside down and I have NOT always made level headed decisions.
ReplyDeleteI am simply disagreeing with your logic. Don't assume to know things about people.
Edwards started having an affair in 2006. Elizabeth's cancer didn't come back until spring 2007. The affair had nothing to do with her cancer. He's just a douche.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I have ever agreed with you more, Ent. The indignation about the whole thing couldn't have been stated better.
ReplyDeleteShe deserved better, and if I was her, I wouldn't be thinking about him at all at this point, and would only be thinking about my children and preparing them to cope without me (and with an admitted narcissistic man as a father).
Well, it makes you wonder what happened when the Edwards' lost their first child at age 16. Did JE need an "escape" from his grief over losing his son? Who knows, but I'd lay down money that Elizabeth didn't go find comfort in someone else's arms when she was grieving losing her child. And all those years when she had to take a back seat, when the public and politicians and people everywhere were fawning over JE and complementing him and telling him how important he was... and she sat there, always in the shadows, always the supportive wife.... wonder if she ever felt unappreciated or invisible or like maybe she wasn't that important? Wonder if she ever felt like "escaping" with someone else?? I doubt very seriously she did. You see, trying to justify "escape" as a way to give yourself a break from a difficult situation is just a damn cop-out, nothing more. I get sick of people saying they can't "help" themselves or they aren't thinking... because at some point between picking up a hotel key at the front desk and entering the room and removing your socks... rational thinking does exist... and there is time to say no. When you walk down that hallway and choose to check your wife's trust at the door to the room... at that point you lose all credibility and just become a jerk.
ReplyDeletei always picked up a slimeball vibe from edwards too, and i don't care how much grief he was in, he shouldn't have made his wife's world worse by fucking around. to me, that's just an excuse to be a douchebag.
ReplyDeleteWell said Sonia.
ReplyDeleteBut, in my mind there does not seem to be anything lower or more disgusting than doing something like that to the woman you have spent your life with, who gave birth to your children, and who has always been your biggest supporter while she is trying to fight for her life.
ReplyDeleteOne of the women who gave birth to your children....
(Allegedly, of course.....)
jj: I totally agree with you... Although most men are NOT this outrageously self-absorbed (thank God), there is a certain type of man who WILL behave this way if/when his wife becomes ill...and being famous/rich is NOT a prerequisite! Some just LEAVE their sick wives altogether - just when they need them the most. Personally, I don't buy into the psychobabble as to WHY these men do it, I just know they DO... I've seen this type "in action," and it's a wrenchingly painful thing to watch. In fact, I'd probably NEVER MARRY if I hadn't also known/witnessed many men who behaved downright heroically/selflessly under the exact same circumstances. (Total SWEETHEARTS.)
ReplyDeleteToo bad men don't come with a bar code on their forehead to let you know which is which. :0
Oh... I was about to mention ANOTHER politician who's already proved himself to be the "leave the sick/loyal wife" type, but that would be, ahem, inappropriate for this venue. :)
Daniel, please. He is soooo selfish and she is so unselfish. He continued to run for vice president when she found out she had cancer and then when it returned more seriously his campaign for presidency 4 years later forged on.That told me enough of his character. When your that sick you want your life partner with you in your final days not campaigning all over the country. Adding salt to the wound he got his tramp pregnant. Where is her peace? My heart breaks for this women who not only is facing death but that the man she shared her life with only loves himself.
ReplyDeleteBless you, Enty....a man with scruples!
ReplyDeleteWhen Edwards gave his interview after the affair came out, he said that it happened while his wife was in remission (as if that made it better). Not on her deathbed.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, he's a self-serving creep and I hope he shuffles back to relative anonymity.
The best thing is castrate JE hehehe. That will teach him not to do it again.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the purpose of getting married if you are not going to accept the vows you made with your love one.
cailyn, that's okay, we all know who that scumbag is, too.
ReplyDeleteMooshiki - No, criticize all you want I was just bringing up the fact that it may be misguided to judge what goes on in people heads during traumatic times since people that are in them rarely make level-headed decisions. Like I said before about when they thought she was going to die all rules kind of get thrown out the window (not because it's convenient but because people act out in different ways in traumatic times). Of course that all goes out the window if Paisley is right about the timeline. However anything that occurs after she recovers then he deserves all the slings and arrows one can provide.
ReplyDeleteWhat Ent and I differ on is the point that I feel that it is more forgivable when you are facing the loss of your spouse because you are reeling and just looking to hold on to anything (some people drink and some people go into darker waters), and he feels it is more forgivable if you are out on the town with friends and you see someone attractive and decide to cheat on your significant other based on that scenario.
As for Kris - I was just having a dialogue with people who were responding to me, so don't take it personal when I question your logic the way you questioned mine. Because you seemed to get offended by my words when I was attempting to state my point in response to your critique(in a friendly way, perhaps it came out wrong) I will just use your words to refute you. - "he's selfish and self centered. He should have thought of his wife, not himself." &
"Don't assume to know things about people."
daniel, i do get what you're saying...that in time of grief when you're world is upended you don't always make rational decisions. but i will always be on the side of the one scorned, particularly if she's suffered already w something like cancer. she could have cheated on him when their son died or when she was diagnosed, but she went above and beyond for him and he should have done the same for her.
ReplyDeleteJE doesn't deserve his wife. He's a selfish bastard.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sylvia - CASTRATION!
I hope that EE can get through this difficult time with the love of her children and extended family. Even with all the drama surrounding her she is helping others by speaking out on health care reform. She made an appearance on Stand Up to Cancer with Lance Armstrong the other week too.
I kind of get the feeling he would have cheated even if Elizabeth was not ill.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I see what you're saying Daniel. How about we just throw rotten eggs at all of them, no matter what their reason? ;)
ReplyDeleteCailyn, who is it?
ReplyDeleteLet's leave John Edwards to karma. It'll get him.
califblondy, in case cailyn doesn't make it back, his name rhymes with con rickshayne.
ReplyDeleteOh, and by the way how sick also is the women who had the affair- speaking of how they would be together when she was gone and telling people EE gave off negative energy. Um, maybe cause she sensed you were effing her husband. Both these sociopaths deserve each other.
ReplyDeleteOk mooshki, I'll meet you at the dairy aisle. :)
ReplyDeleteHe is a terrible slime and I knew it the second I saw him. I hope Elizabeth pulls through by some miracle and makes his life a living hell.
ReplyDeleteI am SICK AND TIRED of people making excuses for why men cheat. Oh they don't feel appreciated, blah blah blah. Fuck that. They have the nerve to complain about women being irrational and having PMS. How irrational and hormone-driven are THEY? Oh, they just couldn't help themselves.
Please.
Elizabeth Edwards knew about the affair as far back as 2006.
ReplyDeleteI knew someone whose husband abandoned her when she had breast cancer, but at least she was able to live out that last year knowing it was over and she could get on with the little time she had left.
"They have the nerve to complain about women being irrational and having PMS."
ReplyDeleteMy friend's ex-husband used to furiously accuse her of being a jealous shrew for asking him if he was having an affair with a co-worker. During their divorce she was cleaning out their house and found out he had fathered a child with the woman years ago. Scum!
Gotta get all the pussy you can while you can. Take it from me, Dead Kennedy...
ReplyDeleteMen cheat because fucking is fun.
ReplyDeleteAnd these are people who stand up and proclaim they're the best people to run our country. Sickening. I hope Elizabeth Edwards pulls through and dumps his sorry ass. She deserves better -- and so do their kids.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the argument that it's understandable for someone to cheat when they find out their significant other has a deadly disease. I don't understand the impulse either, but an impulse is just that -- it doesn't have to be acted on. Besides, how goddamn self-centered is it to think, "Oh, my life has been turned upside-down, my spouse might die so I better go fuck somebody else" when the ill spouse is truly the one whose world has been turned upside down.
ReplyDeleteMy dad cheated on my mom when I was 4; they divorced when I was 5. I have absolutely no tolerance for cheating, for any reason.
Paisley said...
ReplyDelete"Edwards started having an affair in 2006. Elizabeth's cancer didn't come back until spring 2007. The affair had nothing to do with her cancer. He's just a douche."
Yup, just a good old garden variety douche. What an idiot. Knows he wants to run for president and has an affair anyway. Besides his wife, what a slap in the face to his staff and supporters. I used to like him. Not anymore.
no one knows what goes on in a a marriage but those two people, everything else is judgement and speculation.
ReplyDeletei have heard more than once of the wife insisting the husband move on when they are ill or dying. impending death does a lot of things to people´s minds....