Ricky Is Icky
I was going to start off this little masterpiece with a Cincinnati Bengals reference, but, figured it would be lost in the shuffle. (See, if you get it, you got that last part) Anyway, the NY Daily News is reporting that Ricky Martin has been trying to peddle his baby photos, because hey, he has shopping to do and nannies to hire. What? You thought Ricky was sitting at home changing diapers and cooing La Vida Loca to them? Please. I have a feeling they are going to be his very own Menudo from the time they can sing.
Anyway, as Ricky peddles his kids for cash, it seems as if none of the magazine editors are biting. "We aren't jumping like we usually do," one editor said. "We don't think he is going to tell the back story, so the whole thing just seems kind of icky."
And of course the back story would be why a self professed 100% heterosexual man who could have any woman in the world he wanted would instead choose to pleasure himself into a cup while watching the Mr. Universe competition and inserting said results into a surrogate who cannot be found. Mark my words Ricky. You think she won't be found, but she will be. I don't know what she will contribute to the story except to say that she got paid and impregnated and that she never saw Ricky's peen.
I guess I don't understand why someone like Ricky Martin who is not much of a sex symbol any more, cannot just come out. Be proud and show that parents of any sexuality should be free to have a surrogate and exploit their children for cash. Instead he has chosen to take the route of Michael Jackson and Clay Aiken.
See, now that could be a reality show. Michael, Ricky and Clay all raising their kids while trying to score chicks. It would follow the zany adventures of our three bachelors as they look for love and marriage with that special lady. Season after season would air, yet our available bachelors would just not quite seem to be able find the lady of their dreams. Oh sure, they tried, and in Season 3, one of them actually kissed one of his dates. Sure, it was an accident as he slipped, but America gasped anyway and thought for sure this was it. Alas, it was not to be, and our unlucky bachelor sashayed his way home to "everyone in the same bed night."
Anyway, as Ricky peddles his kids for cash, it seems as if none of the magazine editors are biting. "We aren't jumping like we usually do," one editor said. "We don't think he is going to tell the back story, so the whole thing just seems kind of icky."
And of course the back story would be why a self professed 100% heterosexual man who could have any woman in the world he wanted would instead choose to pleasure himself into a cup while watching the Mr. Universe competition and inserting said results into a surrogate who cannot be found. Mark my words Ricky. You think she won't be found, but she will be. I don't know what she will contribute to the story except to say that she got paid and impregnated and that she never saw Ricky's peen.
I guess I don't understand why someone like Ricky Martin who is not much of a sex symbol any more, cannot just come out. Be proud and show that parents of any sexuality should be free to have a surrogate and exploit their children for cash. Instead he has chosen to take the route of Michael Jackson and Clay Aiken.
See, now that could be a reality show. Michael, Ricky and Clay all raising their kids while trying to score chicks. It would follow the zany adventures of our three bachelors as they look for love and marriage with that special lady. Season after season would air, yet our available bachelors would just not quite seem to be able find the lady of their dreams. Oh sure, they tried, and in Season 3, one of them actually kissed one of his dates. Sure, it was an accident as he slipped, but America gasped anyway and thought for sure this was it. Alas, it was not to be, and our unlucky bachelor sashayed his way home to "everyone in the same bed night."
