Mooshki - Movie Review - Death Race
This is a Paul W.S. Anderson remake of a Roger Corman movie. For some of you, that’s all I need to say. For the rest of you, if you like gratuitous destruction, explosions, bloody violence, and bouncing cleavage, with a touch of humor, “Death Race” is for you. There is no subtlety or irony, and only a bare smidgen of social commentary. (The fact that the prison is named “Terminal Island” and all the prisoners wear jumpsuits with “TERMINAL” on the back is a nice touch, though.) 
Happily, the movie has equal opportunity eye candy. There’s CDAN fave Jason Statham getting hosed down naked and doing pull-ups in his cell wearing nothing but a pair of gloriously low-cut pants.
Tyrese Gibson as the rival tough guy hottie. A bevy of big-breasted beauties whom Paris was kind enough to lend a set of her miraculous push-up bras, in particular Natalie Martinez as the ultimate fantasy – a scantily clad, drop dead sexy gal who works magic with a car. (Enty, if you like Eva Mendes, you’ll love her!) 
For the over-50 crowd, cutie Ian McShane is great as the wise mentor of the good-guy team, and Joan Allen, although a bit “smoothed out” in the face, looks absolutely gorgeous, with a body I’d kill to have. Joan also gets the best bad line of the movie. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who plans to see the flick, but if you’re curious you can find it here: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=14nhhg7&s=4
Happily, the movie has equal opportunity eye candy. There’s CDAN fave Jason Statham getting hosed down naked and doing pull-ups in his cell wearing nothing but a pair of gloriously low-cut pants.
Tyrese Gibson as the rival tough guy hottie. A bevy of big-breasted beauties whom Paris was kind enough to lend a set of her miraculous push-up bras, in particular Natalie Martinez as the ultimate fantasy – a scantily clad, drop dead sexy gal who works magic with a car. (Enty, if you like Eva Mendes, you’ll love her!) For the over-50 crowd, cutie Ian McShane is great as the wise mentor of the good-guy team, and Joan Allen, although a bit “smoothed out” in the face, looks absolutely gorgeous, with a body I’d kill to have. Joan also gets the best bad line of the movie. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who plans to see the flick, but if you’re curious you can find it here: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=14nhhg7&s=4 
LOVE...LOVE..STATHAM..I KNOW GAY...WHO CARES...YUMMY...
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the preview for this before Dark Knight at the theater, I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. This looks like THE worst movie ever made. The Arrested Development movie still isn't in the works, but some moron greenlit this? Just kill me now.
ReplyDeleteShazzzba, my friends and I had to keep poking one of our gals to make sure she was still breathing after his scenes. His character's name is "Jensen," and since she's almost as big a fan of Ackles as Statham, it kind of made her brain explode.
ReplyDeleteNoooooooo! Jason is NOT gay! (*desperately covers ears with both hands*)la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
ReplyDeleteTransporter 3 poster is out!
ReplyDeletemooshki - good review. I thought it looked gloriously bad when I saw the preview. I'm thinking it might be a good rental, with ample opportunity for slow motion.
ReplyDeletei THOUGHT this was familiar! i kept thinking stephen king, but roger corman makes sense!
ReplyDeletethank you, mooshki!
and, i'm totally straight, but she does look rather boobalicious!
what, spellcheck doesn't like that????