What's The Point?

A Friends movie? Come on. Do you honestly think the show would translate well to the big screen? Reports from all over the world all at once say there is going to be a Friends reunion and that everyone is on board except the jinxed one and that it will be a big hit because of SATC and blah, blah, blah.

Who cares? Honestly. Yes, it was something to do on a Thursday night, but has your life been empty since it went off the air? Do you really want to see more of it? Do you want to pay to see more of it? I guarantee you it will look like some Brady Bunch reunion movie they used to trot out on television every few years. Exactly like it. They are simple to write, and make the audience happy. If not the Brady Bunch format it will be like a very special two hour Love Boat.

The only difference is that people will use the f-word, and maybe Lisa Kudrow will get naked. The show wasn't that great people. You became used to it and so you watched it. Look, I didn't see the SATC film and I don't plan on it. Hell, I don't even know what it was about. I do know that from talking to several people that they enjoyed it, but the reason they enjoyed it was because they loved seeing all the familiar characters they had grown used to. As a film, it wasn't that great and was just an overblown episode.

Let me give you the plot of the Friends film. I will tell you right now this is how it will be. Monica wants to have a Thanksgiving dinner and all the friends live all over the world or are too busy with their own lives. Everyone is broken up except Monica and Chandler and he is in another part of the world on business. Jennifer Aniston will open the film in some fabulous place sleeping with some guy she doesn't care about. Joey will be working as a waiter and getting nowhere until this great film role which conflicts with Thanksgiving or he is a big star already and it conflicts. Whatever. Phoebe has her own record label and has to be with a band on tour and Ross is somewhere in the middle of nowhere looking at bones. Did you think it was going to be more involved than that? Did you think there was going to be some long, involved plot? It is going to be 80 minutes long.

At the end everyone will fall in love and be happy and blah, blah, blah. No more. Stop it. The next thing you know Seinfeld will be considering something like this. Courteney Cox, if you are reading this, don't do it. Dirt was a great show. You actually have talent. Find something else good and edgy. Don't go back to Monica. David Schwimmer, you're an ass, but apparently you are a decent director. Stay behind the camera. Don't do it. Hell, if you want to see or hear yourself just keep making those Madagascar films.