What Are The Odds?
It's the middle of the night. You're Christian Bale in Rome and you can't sleep. No, this isn't going to be another Verne Troyer post, although if he did follow you to Rome that would be pretty f**king funny. Now where was I? Oh, yeah. Can't sleep, blah, blah, so you get up and decide to walk around the streets at 3am, because hey, that's what people do when they can't sleep right?
So, you are walking and there is only one other person walking the streets. You notice them, but move on, because hey, its 3am, what would another guy be doing walking the streets of Rome at 3am.
The next night Christian has the same problem and so goes wandering again. Again, he spots the guy from last night, but Christian, being the warm and friendly guy he is, waves to the other man. The other man comes rushing over and lo and behold it's Viggo Mortensen.
Now, Christian told his side of the story to GQ, but I don't think anyone has asked Viggo what the hell he was also doing wandering the streets of Rome at 3am. Christian also said Viggo couldn't sleep. This is the oddest damn story. They weren't staying at the same hotel. They both picked the same street to cruise at 3am and we are all supposed to think it's a coincidence.
Now, I have run into some friends and people I have known in some very bizarre places. But, doesn't the whole story seem weird? I mean they both were out two nights in a row? Exactly the same place? Exactly the same time? In the middle of the night?
Christian doesn't say what happened after the pair hooked up. Maybe they walked the streets together, held hands and sang show tunes. Maybe they joined forces to fight crime for a few hours, or maybe they cried in each others arms and sang nursery rhymes. Hell, for all I know they just kept walking and the next thing you know John Travolta popped out of an alley he was hiding in and the three did shots. I'm perfectly happy to entertain suggestions about what they did.
I think I know what you're implying here.
ReplyDeleteYou're saying that they're both big fans of late-night runs to Denny's, aren't you?
Methinx the operative word here is "cruise."
ReplyDeleteI adore Viggo Mortensen, but not so much Christian Bale. I've known things like this to happen, and to me it's not so odd that either of them would want to walk around a beautiful city at night where they'd have a certain amount of privacy. I don't think there's much more to than this than just simple coincidence, but that's just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteHey "a pimp named daver", when you say Denny's, are you speaking of the gay ones? ;)
ReplyDeleteCan't tell you how many times I've had this exact fantasy about Viggo, but with me running in torn clothes and no shoes from muggers, causing him to clutch at me commandingly and us eventually having rough sex in an unlocked car.
ReplyDeleteit's all innocent, what's wrong with you guys? What's odd about two men walking through the desolate rome streets at 3am , holding hands and singing show tunes (probably Mamma Mia)? That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that when I wander the streets of Rome in the middle of the night the only people I run into are drunks and hookers?
ReplyDeleteI hope they shagged each other senseless.
ReplyDeleteand I hope someone got pics. It is Friday after all. ;)
ReplyDelete"Maybe they walked the streets together, held hands and sang show tunes."
ReplyDeleteDamn it Ent, you made me choke on my rice cracker! Wait, maybe I was already choking on it, damn thing's too dry for my own good.
They were both going to a very special invitation only, George Michael performance.
ReplyDeleteMarnie
ReplyDeleteI love you
I think the whole point of him telling the story in the first place is because it was so random and that it's kinda funny.
ReplyDeleteGay celebrity sex! Gay celebrity sex!
ReplyDeleteNo need to be subtle.
they went shoe shopping with the Pope, you know that bitch has Prada open just for him.
ReplyDeleteSo THAT'S where Viggo went after he escaped my secret Roman underground sex dungeon.
ReplyDeleteIt is one my dreams to run into these two men in the middle of the night.......
ReplyDeletecheck youtube because I am sure they re-enacted scenes from American Psycho and snorted coke and killed hookers the rest of the night.
ReplyDeleteI'm someone who wakes up almost every night around 3 am. On vacation, I will go walk around for a bit while my husband is sleeping peacefully. You do see some of the same people sometimes. Unfortunately for me, neither Christian or Viggo were around.
ReplyDeleteI won't think of them being together in that way. It will ruin my fantasies involving me.
Isn't there an old blind where there was a LOTR actor who frequented european s&m clubs or something? A lot of people guessed Viggo... Would be such a shame if it was true....
ReplyDeleteOh. My. God. Now I have a new little fantasy. My poor, pitiful husband. I refered to Christian Bale as my "future husband" yesterday, and truly, regretted it once I saw his sad sad face. My hubby's, not CB's or else, uh, well that would make this story silly now wouldn't it?
ReplyDeleteMy bad.
Ugh. It's not uncommon to go out late at night in Rome. You don't even eat dinner until 10 at night! I've walked around late at night in Rome, there were other people out as well, I wasn't cruising for sex, and the whole 10 days I was running around in Rome not one person approached me. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI doubt anything was going on. If Chris Bale was doing something odd he wouldn't have mentioned the story. I think he was just saying how random some meetings can be, unexpected, yanno?
It warms the cockles of my heart to see that we're all on the same page here, folks.
ReplyDeleteMarnie -- you are fucking awesome. NICE FANTASY, but I'd prolly substitute Christian for Viggo, personally. Does your screen name come from the Hitchcock movie? Just curious!
"...and I hope someone got pics. It is Friday after all. ;)"
ReplyDeleteYeah, baby!!!!
Ooh, Ernestine - good question. I love Marnie. IMO, it is the movie that best shows off just how twisted Hitchcock was.
Turns out Viggo is a Newsies fan. Bale, flattered, decides they should act out the whole movie on the streets of Rome. What follows is a rousing and tearjerking performance of "Santa Fe" complete with surprisingly great dance moves.
ReplyDeleteI would have loved to see that.
The only reason I am out of bed at 3:00 AM is to go to the bathroom. I didn't know I was missing celebrity encounters.
ReplyDeleteFinally SOMETHING on Christian... But I know you're just teasing us Ent. Nice try.
ReplyDelete"it is the movie that best shows off just how twisted Hitchcock was."
ReplyDeleteYES. Especially if you know how Hitchcock basically TORTURED Tippi Hedren in real life -- he was totally in love with her and she spurned all his advances. Her terror in The Birds was completely real. Freaky, huh? :-)
I was supposed to be the meat in that sandwich. I just couldn't get away from the husband.
ReplyDeleteDAMN!
Ask any slash writer and they'll give you a perfectly good explanation for it. Heee!
ReplyDeleteErnestine, etc. I just read about that on the Vanity Fair thing that ENT linked to today. Cool.
ReplyDeleteAnd Marnie, your fantasy had me laughing so hard. HELL YES. :D
I need the name of that street.
ReplyDeleteOkay .. I am in a very fragile state right now.. so I am going to pretend the implications here that Viggo and Christian were off .. well I don't even wanna think about it.
ReplyDeleteIn any other frame of mind .. sure .. but right now? Nope .. they were looking for an open sports bar to watch sports and grab a friendly beer with each other. That is my delusion and I am sticking to it!
Now .. I am off to imagine the stairwell sex scene in "A History if Violence" between Viggo and Maria Bello ...
At 3am I only run into down and out drunks holding each other up, and they sure the hell don't look like Christian Bale, or Viggo Mortensen no matter how many drinks I have.
ReplyDeleteViggo and Bale..thats going to set off a few nights of interesting dreams;)
ReplyDelete@ernestine:
ReplyDeleteyou said "cockles"!
tee-hee!