Welcome To Studio City Heather Mills

I was reading some report today about Heather Mills looking for a place to buy in LA, and was going to ignore it, but then all of you kept sending me links to stories about it, so hey, it has been awhile since I said anything about Heather. I will say that I got an e-mail from someone named Heather Mills and it freaked me the hell out, but it's a common name. I guess if there is ever any confusion you can just look at the leg.

Anyway, reports are percolating which is my word of the day, that Heather is looking for a place to buy in LA. Now, all the articles make it clear that Heather has $1M to spend and no more. She has already dropped two agents who kept showing her houses for $1.1M and $1.2M, etc. She only has $1M to spend so I thought I would take the whole CDAN family on a little tour of what's available to Ms. Mills.

First of all, I think she has made it clear she wants a house. So, no condos which means no Hollywood or Beverly Hills. Now, she has a daughter, so assuming she doesn't want to sleep with her and that she needs a bedroom for her "guests," we'll go with three bedrooms and two bathrooms.

The houses in the photos are all under $1M, but at least $800K.

The home below is in Studio City and is about $800K. She can be close to George Clooney if she lives in this place. Close as in the same city, not the same block or street or neighborhood. She will get to know her neighbors well though as I'm sure Heather will be the first one making cookies to share and helping out with the block party. Uh huh.

Now, this one is 5 bedrooms, and is just $825,000. It has lots of natural light. Unfortunately you really don't get to take advantage of it because in this neighborhood it is important to keep the shades drawn and your security bars tightly fastened. Notice the window air conditioning. Perfect for when you don't want that air running cold through your entire home. The cement driveway should be a great place to set up Beatrice's playset, and I can just see Paul McCartney coming to visit and setting up a grill in the front yard.

So, for our final choice, Heather can choose this 4 bedroom house with a pool. It is large and has excellent views and would probably make the best choice. Of course, she would probably need to buy a really fuel efficient car because it is about 40 miles outside of Los Angeles. Now, there isn't anything wrong with that, except for the fact that if she has a 9am meeting in Studio City she is going to need to leave the house at about 5, 530am. But hey, she has that pool to look forward to after that afternoon rush hour. Of course she will be so tired she will just fall asleep and drown after falling into the pool from her raft.