Monday, July 21, 2008

Today's Blind Items - Animals Were Harmed In This Blind Item

#1 - Strangest Breakup #567. This is going to be tough because the people involved have only one job each and in my opinion both do it badly. I guess the female (A list name recognition) in the story could be considered doing things professionally, but hasn't done the first well, for over 20 years and that is assuming it wasn't come kind of electronic miracle. He was a nobody until he started dating her. Now I guess he would be a celebutard and there are rumors he is about to get a dramatic boost to his 15 minutes. Anyway, the reason for their most recent breakup is apparently the woman in the relationship has some birds. Not too many. Not like Heidi Fleiss and her parrots. This is just five or six, but our woman likes to let them be free and fly around her house. Well anyway, they fly free and crap free and one day our guy was at her home in a new suit and a bird crapped on it. He went into a rage, rolled up a magazine and went after the bird until it was dead. He then walked out of her house and never spoke to her again. Oh, she's been married before. Does that help?


57 comments:

  1. star jones and gay al

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  2. I know it doesn't fit but for some reason I thought of Barbra Streisand. I can just see her with birds flying around the house.

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  3. Don't think this fits but I keep seeing Drew and Justin as the couple

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  4. Damn, I guess Star has only been married once.

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  5. ...she hasn't done her thing well in over 20 years unless "it wasn't some kind of electronic miracle" makes me think it's a singer who was big in the 80's... Diana Ross, Dion Warwick??

    you got me!

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  6. How about Cher? Her last album was heavily synthesized, wasn't it?

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  7. I thought of Cher too, but who is/was she dating?

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  8. after some thought... how about whitney houston and ray j. (is that his name?)...

    i'm just sayin'

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  9. Is it just me or does this blind make absolutely no sense???

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  10. Life-love the Houston-Ray J guess

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  11. does Paula Abdul have birds?

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. Kris, I like the Paula Abdul guess. She seems kooky enough to have birds winging around the room. The guy she split from was some "designer" or something right?

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  14. Anonymous2:10 PM

    I think it is Paula, too. Her ex was a chef or restaurant owner. Maybe he is getting a reality show.

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  15. Can't be Whitney/Ray J. Ray J has had one of the top songs of the summer, making him not a celebutard

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  16. "Hasn't done the first well"???
    Last week it was "she who is tall". I am starting to long for the clarity of Ted C.

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  17. http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/report-ex-paula-abdul-beau-jt-torregiani-may-be-next-bachelor-star-7369.php

    Okay, I'm going with Pauler, although I'd say she has more than one job.

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  18. Anonymous2:29 PM

    God, I never thought I'd say this, but I wonder what Britney's been up to lately?

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  19. I'm going to go along with the Paula guess based on the fact that I really don't get this blind at all...but sounds like a great guess, especially if he will be the next bachelor!

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  20. The whole "last 20 years" thing made me think of Fergie and how she used to be an actress but I guess she's never been married before. That, and Josh probably isn't cashing in his meal ticket now that his tv show was canceled.

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  21. it sounds like someone who san gin the mid to late 80's so Paula would fit. Cher had an album out in 2000.

    Enty you been dipping into the Patron before 4pm again?

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  22. Is the blind so that PETA doesn't go after the guy? Otherwise, what's so blind about it -- "bird killer on the loose"?

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  23. Paula fits except for the only one job thing. She was a lousy singer (to my way of thinking), but she was a good dancer and choreographer. And she has been (has been - heh heh) on a hit Fox show for years now. So, if it's her, I'd ask counsel to describe her with a little more love next time, especially since her bird was murdered.

    How about Liz Taylor? She did one thing, and I thought she had a parrot.

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  24. Its Paula. Her ex is going to be the new bachelor.

    http://www.nypost.com/seven/07032008/tv/paula_ex_as_the_bachelor_118291.htm

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  25. None of these seems right to me...

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  26. Hum .. She: A list name recog married once before lady with 20 years since she was truly successful. He: Celebutard no name til her and now he is about to get 15 minutes of additional fame. The couple: Have been together and broken up a few times as this is "most recent break up" and now decidedly done.

    Damn .. I was hoping writing all that out would make it clearer. Not so much ...

    I guess will cop out and go with Whitney and Ray J ..

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  27. It cant be ray j and whitney because everyone knew who ray j was because of the kim kardashian sex tape. the blind said he was a nobody till he started dating her.

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  28. Could this also point to the singer of the blind item from a long time ago that uses someone else to sing for her, even live? If I remember correctly, it was an electronic miracle since it would be shocking if the truth came out. I thought of that one immediately.

    But, I have no clue. This is the only thing that popped into my head.

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  29. Whitney may be crazy, but I don't think anybody would say she sings poorly. Plus she has been in movies. And Ray J may not be a HUGE star but he is no celebutard.

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  30. It sounds like Whitney and Ray J- but she had that hit movie "The Body Guard" and hit soundtrack in 1992 and "Waiting to Exhale" in 1995 was succesful with another hit soundtrack. Hmmm. She went downhill shortly after both.

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  31. For some reason, I immediately thought of Ivana Trump, although I'm really not sure if it would fit. But, her new husband was a nobody until she ended up with him...
    Just a thought.

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  32. It can't be Paula, Seriously who even knows that guys name anyways.

    It has to be someone like Pamela Anderson, and Tommy Lee, someone who is known to break up numerous times.

    I never heard even rumblings of Paula's ending till it was over.

    Hmmmm. I agree with the person who said this doesn't make sense. It is a very confusing blind. I don't get the electronic miracle.....anyone?

    Kinda of lurker, but have posted before.

    JoAnn

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  33. if it was paula, wouldn't we have seen those crazy birds on her 'show'? i mean if she's cookoo for the birds, she would have alluded to something, right? she's definitely alluded that she's shit crazy bonkers!!!

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  34. Not even going to hazard a guess until this sh*t's been edited. Honestly, Enty! Too much booze at lunch?

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  35. God, that's f*cking despicable... I hope whoever it is gets hit by a bus.

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  36. Having 5 birds isn't "crazy." Beating a small creature to death? You don't have to be in PETA to think that's demented. I hope the douchebag gets hit by a bus and then crapped on by a flock of seagulls.

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  37. That sonofabitch would have walked out of my house with a load of buckshot in his sorry ass.

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  38. I seem to recall an interview with Cher at her house and she showed her parrots. I'm on the Cher train. She was linked with someone new recently but can't think who it was.

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  39. Beating a poor animal to death IS crazy and his ass should have been kicked out, not able to walk out. That said, I couldn't be with someone if I was in a house with five birds who were allowed to fly free and crap on whatever they pleased. That's just nasty. Plus, I'm actually rather terrified of birds. It took me moving to DC to realize that, but birds up close send me into panic mode. I think the birds up there are on some serious steroids or something.

    Ent's clearly on some happy pills/booze today, but I actually kind of parsed this and Paula does fit. *puts on 'think like Ent' cap*

    1) This is tough because the two people involved only have one job each (currently) and stating what those jobs are must be a big giveaway if he can't state what they are. Paula's current job is being a judge on AI and most people would agree she's pretty bad at it (well, all of them are to be fair, she just catches most of the flack for it). Yeah, I can't think of a real way to "blind" that either. Now her ex was a chef apparently? Maybe Ent has eaten at one of his events or his restaurant before.

    2a) "I guess the female...could be considered doing things professionally" - horribly written, but what he means is, you could say the female has had professional pursuits before, aside from her current job. He's pretty lukewarm in that statement, which indicates his not so high opinion about the quality of her endeavors.

    2b) "...but hasn't done the first well, for over 20 years and that is assuming it wasn't come [sic] kind of electronic miracle." The first = her first job, which is not necessarily her CURRENT job. She hasn't done that well for over 20 years - Paula's first album was in 1987, and she's never been known as a vocal powerhouse, to put it lightly - and you could technically leave that in present tense because she had that Dance Like There's No Tomorrow song early this year.

    Now you have to keep in mind at this point that a lot of people tend to forget that Paula was actually a Laker Girl turned choreographer first and got her record deal later. As far as fame goes, Paula didn't become famous for being a choreographer. She became famous as a pop star and THEN people started pointing out that she was also a much sought-after choreographer who happened to work with one of the most popular female acts at the time, which added some clout to her name (and possibly an attempt to deflect any Janet 'copycat' comparisons she may have gotten since she was largely responsible for Janet's style and dancing during the Control era). I can think of very few choreographers who were famous solely for their choreography. And I have a feeling Ent was never a huge P fan so I'm not expecting him to have any of this in mind. (See, when you think like Ent you also have to think about the details he might *not* consider.)

    3) "Now I guess he would be a celebutard" - he was a nobody, and now he's dating somebody with some actual fame; so I guess that technically makes him a celebutard even though people STILL don't have a clue who he is.

    4) "rumors...a dramatic boost in his 15 minutes" = the Bachelor rumors. They could be just that, though.

    5) "Oh, she's been married before." - she's been married twice.

    It's possible Paula just bought these birds. I know on Hey Paula she was letting one of her dogs gnaw on an expensive piece of jewelry and she was just laughing about it, so I can see her letting birds fly around and "be free" without regard. Hell, it sounds like something she would say on AI, something about letting your spirit dance and be free to show all the true colors of its rainbow on stage.

    And apologies for the exceptionally long comment.

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  40. What's with these crazy divas and their crapping pets? First Mariah and now this.

    People, people, people, gets yaself a pet diapa and ya won't evah have ta worry 'bout dis shit evah agin! Puleeze!

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  41. "He then walked out of her house and never spoke to her again."

    He murdered her bird, & then HE didn't speak to her--does that mean she was still willing to speak to him?

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  42. What a psycho bastard he is. Paula does her job badly, as an AI judge wasted all the time. Electronic Miracle would be her voice, but I must say, that is definitely her voice we heard. However, rumors are now that she recently lipsynched a lice performance. A guy that goes into a rage is not worth keeping though.

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  43. Barbara Hershey and Naveen Andrews

    Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

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  44. realistically, the only sort of person the girl end of this BI could be is a singer, due to the 'electronic miracle' comment. So, a late 80's singer with an enhanced voice, not a strong live singer, who has a current career, has been dating a nobody, and has fairly recently broken up.

    Defiinitely Paula. poor thing. seriously bad taste in boyfriends. anger issues, anyone?

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  45. If someone murdered one of my pets, I'd take a effing maple bat to his head. Period.

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  46. says" assuming WASN'T some kind of electronic miracle".
    most of us with multiple exotic pets let them roam free as long as it is safe (i have 7 bunnies, but the only roam when i am home, and i warn people if they sit down to play, they may get pooped on. but bunny poop is a different matter) and i HAVE had birds. i'm trying to remember something about someone with birds.... these would most likely be macaws, cockatoos, greys, the big "domesticated" types more than the smaller ones. the bigger ones poop less often, but poop BIGGER! ha!
    and screw peta. animal control should get in there and do some serious questioning, not those peta hags.

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  47. You need to out this twat, Enty.

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  48. Hi guys

    Lurker -- this is my first post. Had to come out of hiding, because shamefully, I know who Cher is dating. It's that dude who climbed Everest with his second try -- Tim Medvetz. He's a biker, can't imagine him in a suit tho...
    Also, Cher is considered a not-too--shabby actress, even tho she did go the electronic route with that pop album of hers!

    So, yeah, I obviously don't know!

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  49. flora: You have pointed out an interesting phenomenon. The pet owner who doesn't care if their pets shit all over the place.

    This person is usually a woman. Usually these people do not have children, and that's a GOOD thing.
    They're usually benign, soft-hearted, weak-willed and have a few loose screws.

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  50. Kirstie Alley has/had a lot of birds that she allowed to fly freely around her house (she once gave canaries as a gift to her crew. They all died because they had some infection.)

    But Kirstie doesn't fit any other clues.

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  51. If she only did it well and it mighta been an electronic miracle, I'm gonna guess Marisa Tomei and her questionable Oscar win

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  52. There's a reason cities have laws about how many pets you can own. :(

    Jeannie, LOL! I loved My Cousin Vinny so much I actually don't mind her win too much.

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  53. "Now I guess he would be a celebutard and there are rumors he is about to get a dramatic boost to his 15 minutes."

    There are rumor's that Paula's ex is going to be the next Bachelor...

    sounds like a fit to me.

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  54. here are some female celeb bird owners according to my research:

    angelina jolie
    elizabeth taylor
    paris hilton
    hillary swank
    britney spears

    none of those seem right -- i thought the Cher guess was good ... remember her old bf Rob Camiletti was an unknown who became semi-famous -- but i think this blind is about a recent bf, not sure tho

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  55. Cher won a freaking oscar, I don't think she's fitting here.

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