More Proof That People Uses Kneepads

There was an interesting little blurb in the NY Daily News today about why People didn't get the exclusive on Drew Barrymore's breakup with Justin Long. Apparently Drew was upset that People put her on the cover of the magazine a few weeks ago while wearing a bikini. That's a nice little factoid the Daily News got, but it is what wasn't explored that I care about most. Why was Drew upset? Was it negative? Not at all. In face her publicist praised the piece saying it was "completely positive." Then why was she so upset?

(The story was) "just not needed on our end at that time." On your end at the time? What? So Drew was ticked that People didn't get her permission prior to publication? I'm assuming from the comments of her publicist that it is standard practice for them to call People, tell them a story and have People print it verbatim. Gasp! People isn't a news magazine? Shocker! See, this is why I call them Kneepads Magazine. They do and print whatever publicists want them to print at the time they say to print it, and in exchange get exclusives which are only one side of the story. Rarely do you see People ever day anything negative about anyone because these exclusives would dry up. Who cares? Do some reporting. Do some news. Don't be a suckup. Customers for the most part who fork over money to buy your magazine think they are getting real news and not just some fluff piece that a publicist spoon fed to the magazine. The public thinks they are getting scoops and insider information, but it is carefully vetted first to make sure that at no time does the celebrity ever look bad.

I would wager that when People heard what Drew's publicist had to say they called crying like a kid at a Michael Jackson sleepover and begged for forgiveness. They probably promised enough ass kissing and enough covers that we as "everyday people" will believe that Drew Barrymore is the second coming. They then got on the Kneepads Hotline to the decrepit one and told Larry King that Drew Barrymore was going to be on the show everyday for two weeks until the entire world knows how perfect she is. Larry, who kept confusing Drew Barrymore with John Barrymore agreed though.

Sample questions from Larry to Drew:

Why do so many people in the world think you are the greatest movie star in the world?

You got your start in silent films right?

How many times have you healed the crippled? Was Angelina Jolie with you?

So, the next time you peruse a Kneepads Magazine at the checkout stand, just realize who is calling the shots.