Miley's Head Is Getting Bigger Than Her Teeth
Everywhere I have turned this week Miley Cyrus has been in the news, and honestly, I'm getting tired of it. She is becoming annoying. Not the kind of annoying that will go away if you sleep it off, but the kind of annoying that never ever goes away until you have a doctor surgically remove it, or in the case of a gnat, kill it.
Granted, I am old and decrepit, but by my count there were the "new" photos of her and that guy making out which expanded on the other photos of her laying on his lap like she was on Billy Ray. Then there was the whole Miley/Selena Gomez video off which Miley apologized for by saying she was "super sorry." On a side note, when someone says they are super sorry, it means they are saying it because someone made them. It also means they are 4 years old.
There is also the rumor that her people are floating which says that Hannah Montana is ending and that Miley is sick and tired of doing it and wants to do more grown up roles and head straight to porn or at least some good solid R's and NC-17's as soon as she can. As for me, I say quit Hannah Montana because it will be that much sooner you will be out of my life. Oh, she will stick around like the Olsens stick around. Unlike the Olsens though, Daddy will do his best to work quickly through Miley's money so that eventually she will be doing reality shows and having to maybe earn a buck or two, while the Olsens will continue their coffee and cigarette doing nothing lives until the end of time and never run out of money.
Oh, and if that wasn't enough, Lifestyle condoms wants to give her $1M. I think she would have accepted but she probably prefers Trojans or something like that.
You have to remember that all that crap is just from my aging memory and isn't even the reason I posted. I posted because she pissed me off talking about Katy Perry. Whatever you think of Katy Perry and her music, her people were very nice to my readers so she gets a little love. Katy this week said she wouldn't mind kissing Miley during the Teen Choice awards this weekend. She said it as a joke, although I'm sure she would do it if pressed. Miley on the other hand said, no, and also said that Katy was just jealous of Miley because Katy was a backup singer on some Hannah Montana albums.
Honestly, I don't think Katy has anything to be jealous of and I may be wrong, so please correct me, but has Miley ever had a #1 song? Katy has. Sure, Miley has had two number one albums, but no one actually listens to her songs. It is just a bunch of parents thinking they know what their kids want and so scooping up the albums. What we have here instead I think is that Miley knows that when she does leave the safe secluded Disney Hannah Montana world that she is going to get her ass handed to her in the real world.
A-men! Well said, Enty.
ReplyDelete15 years old and already a bitter hag.
ReplyDeleteThe downward spiral of this one is going to be a pleasure to watch.
I concur ... I'm SO SICK of Miley and her face.
ReplyDeleteThis crash will make Britney's seem like a walk in the park. At least Brit wasn't this snarky in the press when she was on top. She had the decency to hide it better. LOL
ReplyDeleteaww poor fug bitch whining through her buck teath!
ReplyDeleteheehaw bitch,welcome to the real world.
Ha! I have big problems with Katy Perry, but I'd still pick her over Miley ANY day of the week. And the fact that KP looks like Zooey Deschanel doesn't hurt. :)
ReplyDeleteBRAVO Ent! Dead-on.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure who she's dating now, but I'm glad Nick Jonas moved on. He can do a lot better.
ReplyDeleteI've got some harsh, honest words for you, too, Miley. Lean in REAL close. Alright?
ReplyDeleteOkay. Here's the deal. You're the progeny of a bemulleted douche who was a joke even at the HEIGHT of his popularity back in the early nineties. Your mother looks like a cross between Linda Hogan and Seabiscuit. You did NOT luck out, genetically speaking. You are NOT an attractive girl. AT. ALL. You are all gums, hair extensions and bug-eyes.
So, you should really be extra-nice to people, since you can't rely on your looks -- unlike your new nemeses Selena Gomez and Domo Arigato Demi Lovato -- both of whom are your age and are ALREADY drop-dead gorgeous. I'm sure that drives you crazy with jealousy. It's totally obvious that you're envious. You remind me of every malevolent slutbag who went to my high school and egged my house and taunted me for no reason. You're a fucking bully, and a poor one at that.
You aren't a classy young woman. Katy Perry is a classy young woman -- not many celebrities would offer to share the stage with you. But you ARE a totally ungrateful little cunt. Take your unjustly-earned millions and fucking scram. More and more people are beginning to despise you with every bratty little syllable that falls from your ducklips -- including myself.
Ernestine.....BRAVO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteps don't forget her voice sounds like a 85yr old smoker :)
ernestine-
ReplyDeleteso singing a song about kissing girls purely for shock value and whoring yourself out for an appearance on the young and the restless qualifies katy perry as "classy"?
or is this just in comparison to miley cyrus?
for the record, ent- miley cyrus has an album out that is actually doing well and is not related to hannah montana- its just miley's album that has nothing to do with the show.
i have a feeling that is the album she was referring to.
i admit her statement is pretty shitty but you must admit the quote never said the word "jealous" it just mentioned that she was getting back at her since she did backup on the album.
semantics, i know...
She was lucky enough to land THE role of a lifetime--honestly, any teen with talent could have done it.
ReplyDeleteShe is extremely ignorant, & unappreciatie, & I can't wait for this whole Hannah Montana craze to end.
If Disney was smart, they would fast move on to a new concept with a new cute nobody.
I too am kind of old & trying to ward off decrepit from slowly creeping in, but she needs to go way fast.
Adrian- Disney IS doing that. Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato are all over the place right now. All. Over. The Place. Pretty soon they're going to be as overexposed as Miley.
ReplyDeleteRobot--they can't over expose them enough as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who bought 2 Miley Cyrus tickets in Atlantic City so he could take is 12 year old daughter. They went for the weekend, stayed in a hotel, had a whole father/daughter time. When I asked the girl how it was, she just said "OK"--nothing special.
Parents need to stop feeding into this ridiculous fad as far as I am concerned.
Bring on Selena & Demi.
Hi, Amanda.
ReplyDelete"so singing a song about kissing girls purely for shock value and whoring yourself out for an appearance on the young and the restless qualifies katy perry as "classy"?
or is this just in comparison to miley cyrus?"
Don't watch soaps, and don't care. I don't begrudge others their guilty pleasures, however. Wasn't aware of the Young and the Restless gig. But, yes. I would say that Katy is worlds classier than Miley. At least Katy's never posed in a wet t-shirt in the shower and had it splashed all over the internet. And Katy's what? About eight or so years older than Miley? And I don't honestly see what kissing girls has to do with it. If her song were called "I Kissed a Boy," would it make her THAT much classier? Is gender and homosexual experimentation the issue here?
Just saying.
I'm also insinuating that she's jealous of Selena and Demi, not Katy. But hell, I'm sure she's jealous of Katy, too, since Ms. Perry is also about ten trillion times more attractive than Gummy McJesus could ever hope to be.
ernestine-
ReplyDeletethe latter part of my comment was for ent... i can see how you would think it was aimed at you though.
i honestly dont have an issue with experimentation- i just find it conveniently used as a controversial shock tactic to gain attention and perhaps fame...
(i also cant stand the song... but its so damned catchy!!! but seriously- i dont like the voice!)
i just found it interesting that you mentioned her having so much more "class" than miley.
btw- those pictures were not taken to be shared on the internet with millions of people so i tend to feel bad for the girl for getting her stuff hacked.
but like i said- i dont feel sorry for miley- i just found that comparing katy perry's so -called class seemed a bit strange to me but to each their own.
Amanda -- it's cool. No beef, I swear! I just think Miley's a big ol' hypocrite, which grates on me to no end, but I definitely appreciate people playing the Devil's Advocate, too.
ReplyDeleteI do think that she WANTED those pictures leaked, though. There's just something about the way she preens in front of a lens that just hollers and hollers (because that's what Southerners do. They don't yell. They HOLLER) for attention. And, hey, whether I like it or not, she's got mine!
And I DO agree with you about Katy's voice. It drives me nuts, too. :-) But not as much as her boyfriend's "take a look my girlfriend" song. UGGGGGHHHH.
flash forward 10 years...no one will remember Katy or her song except when it gets played on retro night. Miley will then be starring in the remake of Showgirls- Kentucky Nights with Brooke Hogan and Vanessa Hudgens.
ReplyDeletethe movie will be produced by Seacrest who is still trying to prove he likes boobies while blowing Zac Efron in his trailer. Zac who hasn't done jack shit since High School Musical 8, will play the role of 'Terry' the cross dressing showgirl with a heart of gold.
Jax -- I LOVE it. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.
ReplyDeleteCan it just happen NOW? And instead of Hudgens, can we substitute Tisdale? I think Hudgens is actually kinda cute, to be honest. At least HER nudie pics came out when she was eighteen.
I really hate that I know this, but Billy Ray Cyrus has a TV show coming about a....bait shop. Fishing bait. I saw it advertised.
ReplyDeleteI hope the shop is called "Master Bait and Tackle"
disney actually let miley go after the leibowitz (sp?) fiasco. unfortunately, she was already slated to do voice work for "bolt", and i imagine she had hannah montana episodes already in the can (not that helped "dead like me", unrelated, i know, but i'm still pissed about that") and i'm sure billybob managed to get them to honor certain parts of her remaining contract, and of course there were other actors to consider.
ReplyDeleteif anybody knows for a FACT that disney changed their minds, i'd love to hear it, "bolt" is one of mr. bunny's movies, and there has been some panic about it.
How old is everyone here? It seems a little perverse to bitterly call a fifteen year old names, unless you are, like, fifteen. And I'm sorry but, Ent, you are so NOT a man in real life! I can't imagine any man nearly 40 so emotionally invested in the ups and downs of Hannah Montana!
ReplyDeleteMiley Cyrus is single-handedly to blame for creating a whole generation of brats! My nine year old niece started with this Hannah Montana attitude of I'm so better than this and I've heard from my teacher friends that parents have talked to her about how their daughters are no longer being allowed to watch because of adapting the Hannah Montana attitude.
ReplyDeleteKelly -- that's sort of exactly why I can't stand Miley. Honestly. What sort of role model IS she? As an aunt with a young niece, you've gotta be twelve times more horrified over the whole wet t-shirt photos than I am. How do you explain to kids that, you know, Miley was just "experimenting." Experimenting with WHAT? It's not as if she was just BEING A KID or whatever. Most girls in their mid-teens don't act the way Miley does.
ReplyDeleteGo ride your bike, listen to the Smiths, read the Bell Jar 4354 times, or shoplift from Walmart to get your naughty girl kicks. That's pretty much what I did when I was Miley's age.
She obviously wants to be seen as a sexual adult, so I'm going to treat her as such and criticize her accordingly. The kid gloves, so to speak, are off.
Brenda: you're a genius. Master Bait, indeed!